A Week COVID my companion...

 

 

Hi all! Feeling far better than I have in the last 8-9 days.

Went 9 hours today without falling asleep or needing such or fainting. I am grateful for this.

I should be able to go back to work this Tuesday given clearance from my DR. I miss work as I miss my family there at Conn-Selmer. Sure, we disagree and argue and fight, but what family doesn't.... I miss you all so much! Each and everyone of you is important to me: Your smiles, grimaces, and dead stares... The sound of your voices, the roar of your laughter near me. Everything matters in this life and I cherish every part of our interactions.

My Covid Adventure has taught me a few things after it took THIS BITCH nearly three years to catch my ass in its crosshairs..

1. I have no sense of taste. I can smell everything, but all i can taste is pepper and some traces of orange from juice. Turkey, ham, beef only differ based on texture alone... strange to me, but true. Root beer, Tea, coffee, IPA's, beef broth and milk etc go down over my tongue as flavorless as water.

2. I have lost weight. Go figure on this one. When you cannot taste you are seldom hungry. I merely eat to maintain myself. I know I need to eat and do so. It all tastes the same and that being NOTHING. I have lost about 15lbs in a week

3. BLOOD PRESSURE ISSUES: a day before I tested positive I took my BP meds as usual. About an hour later, after Gretchen left for work I felt faint and bodily banked off many things before hitting my puter chair... I then crawled to the couch to sleep again.... That scared the shit out of me as I had not been drinking IPA/s or any other influence that might cause this...

4. Blood Pressure Issues part2: when I awoke I was curious as to what happened. I decided to take my Blood pressure before taking my meds this days. What I saw amazed me. My blood pressure was around normal/ 117/72 around the time I would take my meds. Had that been the case the day before would explain what fainting occurred. Apparently, Covid has HELPED my BP! ) I did say this to my DR during a Phone Appt and she did not seemed surprised. She likes the fact that I own a Great BP and Pulse Oximeter to monitor both Gretchen and I. I have not taken any of my BP in over 6 days as I do not need them.

5. Sight: My sight has improved during this last week. I can read without glasses of any type. Who knows as to why...

6. NEXT CHAPTER. I guess we'll see.

Thanks for reading this,

Hugs and love you all.

Life in Dark Water. (life during a 16 month lay-off during COVID 19) Part 1. The Beginning...

 

                                                             Life in Dark Water

                                                                    Part 1

                                                   Setting the WayBack Machine.

                                                       Getting a call that change things. 

                  I received a call from my Boss Kim R on a sunny Sunday around late March 2020  She said our plant is shutdown due to Covid and we'd get a callback when things reopened there. I expressed my thoughts to her as we spoke, saying I didn't think it's going to end quickly... I wished her and her children the best as life as we knew everything was shifting into areas not friendly nor nice. Explaining that  24 hour stores were now  closing at 9-10 pm, Zoo's, Museums and Sporting events got smacked down. She didn't truly believe me, and that's okay as she is younger than me, perhaps not having my background of seeing things differently.  Life often works that way. 

          To her credit I can say this about her: She rose through the ranks starting at young age, around high graduation. Her mom worked there and recently retired after some 20+ years of service. She did this in the company based on her ability to learn new things and skill and sincere desire to succeed in the only American Brass Musical Instrument company in the USA. I RESPECTED HER totally, though not always agreeing with her ideas I always gave them a shot. No harm in trying, I'd think. 

            Fact is: I was hired by her in 2015. I remember her saying to others in the department I would later be taken into: "Hey! This guy can read micrometers!" I just smiled... 

           I had many a boss stroll in and out of Final Assembly/Honing over a slim number of years. I liked most of the bosses I've had there.

              She held a belief in an utterly flawed system of operations in American Companies: (If you do long productive hours, go into supervision based on skill and solid employment history, the Company would take of you as you did them.)   Sadly, I stopped having a sense of Company/Corporate loyalty some 15-20 years ago as I saw it disintegrate into sheer Nothingness of Time spent based on Share-Holder desires and things getting twisted even in places not even on a stock market. 

             Ironically, she never got called back to work at Conn-Selmer.   

                             Just after that Sunday phone call...                                                                 

              I told my wife I was now   laid-off from work at Conn-Selmer and that I would apply for Unemployment benefits the next day.

              My wife looked at me said she wasn't surprised as EVERYTHING was getting shut down. I thought  The Schools, stores, restaurants, bars and, well, everything is clamped down into a holding/closer pattern not unlike    early Paris under the occupation of the Nazi Party during WWII.  I looked at her, told her I love her and it'll be what it is.  

            I told her I'd apply for unemployment  tomorrow, the next day after being informed. Looking concerned, she managed a smile and we hugged each other. She asked me how long did I think this would last.  (looking back I am not sure if she was asking about the lay-off  duration or the Covid effect,) I told her that I thought this was going to last a long time though I wasn't sure why I felt this way.  Yeah, I didn't know I'd be laid-off for 16 months and when going back there the 'Great Resignation'  of 2021 would occur. NOTE: I will write about this movement down the road as I think it epic in people standing up and saying: STOP PAYING ME SHIT WAGES! 

                

                            Next Day???  Applying for Ohio Unemployment: 

              Well, it took a great deal longer than anyone's conception of a 'next day' belief reality would occur.  Day's turned into weeks trying to apply for Ohio Unemployment as their system kept crashing during the mid-application process. 

              I understood why this happened and explained to many I knew feeling frustrated as I was why Their Crashes occurred.  I would say to them that their system was NOT created to have so many requests hitting them at one time.  I remember it taking me some 4 weeks to fully get my application to go thru via the internet and repeatedly calling them on the phone...

             Granted, I did learn this:  IF You have a Smart Phone equipped with a headphone jack and a really good head-set..... If you are stuck on hold waiting for REP to help, go hands free and fly sims, play games and read news while waiting for human to say 'Hello'. 

         After about 4 weeks, my claim was accepted after speaking to a sweet kind phone rep from Akron, Ohio.  In all honesty, she was wonderfully understanding to deal with. She was kind, empathetic and funny during our conversation as well as professional. ABBY212, YOU ROCKED IT!!!! 

              I'd get money.  

              I'd delve into gaming simulations, talking to people on the phone, and journey into waters I have swam in before, but vastly different in some regards.  That being a love of faith and ironically IPA's. Yeah, I also did my share of 'hacking." 

             Hey, when you got a lot of knives and forks, you gotta cut into something? Right/ 

               I tried volunteering for animal humane societies to clean cages/walk and feed animals but they were locked down too. I sincerely felt hurt by that....                                                                                                                       

               Thank you for reading this. Thank you for your patience with me.

                                           End of Part 1 (Life in Dark Water) 

                                   Part II will go into day-to-day events and how they played over time some 440 days of ever-adjusting life of an extrovert that became an introvert.  

                                    It will also hopefully show some beauty.  My Smoke and Storm. 

                                     

                                 May this song bring happy memories to us older folk and an inspiration to those that never heard it before. 

         

   

 

CAN I STILL PLAY WITH MADNESS? Celebrating ten years of writing across our Blue Marble.

                                         

                                     CAN I PLAY WITH MADNESS???

Wowza! I started this blog nearly  ten years ago and am amazed people still read it across our blue marble to this day! 

Over 90 Countries, 80K people.

 I cannot both express my gratitude for their reading my words and sadness/apologies  for my lack of writing the last few years.

Well, it's my intentions to kick it up this year as  EVERYTHING seems to going to Hell on the heels of Covid, Russia invading the Ukraine and the cost of food steadily rising.... 

Clearly, I have a lot of work, research and editing to do down the road. And I suck at editing my own work...

Sorry for my lapse....

                         I ask myself again: 'Mark/FLYINGSCOOTER, do we really want to go here again??? Do you want to delve into writing and play with the madness of trying to find meaning in areas where there is little to none?'

                              BEEN TOO LONG. DAMN RIGHT I AM GOING TO. 

         Reasons why I feel ready to do so... 

      Well, I think being back at work at Conn-Selmer for several months after being laid off for 16 months >being back working for 4 months<  has taught me how to interact with others once again and hopefully making those around laugh again. For Christ's sake, the lockdown shit made me turn into an introvert! Damn scary place for me to be since I was 16 years old. Virtual paranoia could have taken place, and am grateful it didn't. 

           >>>For fucks sake, I spent so many months of my life during the 'shutdown Covid bullshit'  where my only human interactions were based at gas stations (HUGE THANKS TO THE PEOPLE AT SPEEDWAY Vine and Lakeshore while getting Smokes, Coffee and IPA's) and Save-A-Lot Vine st.) You all made a massive influence on my 20 minutes out of the house as all else was closed. 

                  I sincerely  have to thank Cliff S, Pennie C and Ed K for talking on the phone and sharing with me during our Submarine Existence while on lay-off, shutdown/lockdown/isolated.  If I hadn't had you to talk to day to day, I would have gone insane. 

              I also need to thank my wife Gretchen.  While I was off work, long before her job kicked her to curb, she saw me do nothing except household chores/collecting unemployment/playing computer games and flying sim planes.  The first few weeks I shared with her how I was going Slightly Mad as I had no face-to-face interactions as I had at work and seriously missed being alive amongst others/having an audience and such/feedback. I was truly going INSANE and would have gone if not for the above mentioned people.    Only when she got laid off did she fully understand what living in dark water means...  One week into her lay-off she asked me as we were sitting in out computer room; "How do you handle this, Mark?" I simply answered, I have friends i talk to on phone and at gas stations....

I suggested she hear this song,....

 Also this song ran with me off and on during the last ten years... Love the words and music... "Give me the Strength to hold my up and spit in their face..." 

               Been a long time since I played with the madness of writing the truth as I find and express it...

Sidenote: I feel younger as I type this. Must be a fire burning somewhere inside me.... 

         Sorry for my absence. 

Thank you for your patience. 

-Mark/FLYINGSCOOTER

Babes of this Modern Age: Mommy, when will it be safe outside?

                                  Babes of this Modern Age:
                                          "Mommy when will it be safe outside?"
   

                   A young child wakes up on a Saturday morning, her long blond locks cascading about as she leaps from bed to meet a new day. Quickly dressing in proper clothing, stopping briefly at her bathroom to relieve, she ventures downstairs aiming toward the kitchen.
         Kitchen, to her, is where mommy and daddy are right now, love and smiles and fill her heart. . She can't wait to see them again.
                   
           

Imagine How Children See This Time during COVID-19... Part !

             Hey, Mommy, Daddy can we go the playground????



         Your child of varying age and striving athletic, academic   has been without school, socialization from friends, and their daily routine is completely messed up .
         Yeah, sure, they were somewhat fine with it the first week as to them it was like a vacation that sometimes occurs when their school burns to the ground from a fire or gets wiped out from a hurricane, or perhaps, temporarily shuttered after some shooting event.
         First off,  let me please  explain both my daughters are adults.   I so fondly remember taking them to the Cleveland  zoo,  Cleveland Metroparks for hikes. Teaching them rollerblading and such both in a park and USA Skates on Dennison and Ridge road.  My youngest keeping up with me as she rode a Big Wheel around the West 25th area of Cleveland.   My trying to simply watching them learn and experience, fail and fall and to eventually to figure out balance as they bulleted around smooth pavement created memories to this very day seem vastly important to me now. To share with the hopes you can find you may discover the same within your mind and heart.

        How do you tell your kids something like: "NO, we can't go the playground right now, honey. We've been told that could be not healthy right now."
         Wide-bright-eyes child looks into your eyes and asks why; "Why not, mommy??? "

           "Because we're not allowed to." she/he frustratingly states, yet not raising voice in volume. Unsure in what they should say next, lost in a world of uncertainty. Looking toward their feet, feeling highly fragile and hurting...
            They tell their Kinder: "We'll find something fun, my babies! We will!"
       
                I hope I can help  with this....

               Our GLOBAL CHILDREN CAN LEARN from much when we share with one another ONLINE is you take the time and patience.
   

                    Enjoy these links at a zoo near you! Most have live-cams to see animals walking and living about. I guess this is the best we can do these days/daze, which is better than nothing, I pray.
    I love all of you everywhere. My Lord taught me this and am thankful for it.
       Hang tough and find happiness in the simplest things that make you smile.
https://resourcelibrary.clemetzoo.com/Animal/Details

https://www.akronzoo.org/animals

Sorry if I slighted you, Gillian, Yvette and so many others as all I had to find and share came from  TripAdvisor dot Com. 
South Africa
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attractions-g293740-Activities-c48-South_Africa.html

Belgium. https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attractions-g188634-Activities-c48-Belgium.html

Germany: https://www.zoo-berlin.de/en

India: https://www.holidify.com/collections/zoos-in-india

China: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attractions-g294211-Activities-c48-China.html

Japan: https://wow-j.com/en/Allguides/other/sightseeing/00353_en/

Russia: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attractions-g294459-Activities-c48-Russia.html

Ukraine: https://zoo.kiev.ua/en/

Iceland: https://mu.is/is/

Jamaica: https://www.jamaicazoo.org/

Spain, Trinidad and Tobago: https://www.destinationtnt.com/emperor-valley-zoo/

Colombia: https://seecolombia.travel/blog/2014/04/cali-zoo/

Switzerland:  https://www.myswitzerland.com/en-us/experiences/summer-autumn/zoo-animal-experiences/zoos-search/

I Sincerely thank you for reading this first beginning of getting back to writing.
Please excuse errors in spelling and a lack of an editor to fix things.

a few credits:
Thanks to TripAdvisor for zoo links.

Huge thanks to a band named Volbeat! Their song gave me an energy to begin writing and sharing again.  This was the song that fired me up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VaK0aXsDM8

Thanks again from me!

Feels good to be back writing again.
-Mark
.










         

Welcome To The Modern and Improved version of the USA!

                                Welcome To The Modern and Improved version of the USA!  Year 2017.
                                                                            by
                                                           Mark William Darus.
                                                my wish you listen to this music while
                                                              reading this if you can/
                                               https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYvpBsLhVlI
                                                        you may have to open another window. So Sorry

                         Photo/foto title: We're so divided in our desires...
   
                    We as a land, Americans all standing as one, <<< I really do not believe this last line, but hey, I can spew fecal matter from my fingertips as easily as any meager Capitalist seeking a paycheck or Politician wishing appointment to office. `
                                          After the Obama Administration did little with his somewhat lack luster attempts to mend bridges over racial gaps, American Police officers were caught beating down Blacks, Afro Americans and >>> please forgive this term I write: NIGGERS.<<<< .
                              First off and   leading to  other observations I wish to share.
                    1. I am so glad he WAS NOT assassinated!!!  Had he been slayed, it would have been devastatingly ferocious far surpassing the JFK shooting laying on Lee Harvey Oswalds  bullshit doorstep.  He, Barrack Obama, (sp?)  got elected simply because the Bush Administration (and Republican party wanted Sarah Palin as a Vice Pres candidate . Hmmm, electoral votes not so good in Alaska, no?)  placed America in such wastelands only a Democrat could have won.
                  Tamir Rice killing Cleveland Ohio
               

                     2. We ( USA)  as a Country  had a Black/Afro-American/Person-of-colour/ etc  and so forth as A President and history would twist my words, and what really  occurred?  Well, somehow/someway racial hatred got worse over our LAND OF THE FREE AND HOME OF THE BRAVE.  Black people got a beat down/killed while the worse offending  white Americans could show in video was merely just  a bunch of  southern good old boys talk about shooting shotguns to road signs getting pulled over while reciting their ABC:S as Uh-b-dee-Llllmno .  Yeah, that is total crap. Even my dog prays for shelter from the storm that may eventually destroy the United States of America. Okay, i may have exaggerated about my Frodo.

               

                       3.  An American Nurse Alex Wubbels correctly does her job and gets slam around by Cops/Law Enforcement officers/New Age Storm Troopers. I find this both disgusting and hilarious at the same time  and she will become quite rich.
                        FOR CHRISTS SAKE! I value Nurses far above the value of a Doctor. My mother was an RN, so that may taint my opinion..                    
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=813&v=MHWXqZQ2_Rw
                        Sorry: do we not have Privacy Laws and such? Did this Nurse not follow the Rules and Regulations of her Profession? I so hope she is NOT FOUND DEAD IN A POLICE CELL OF A SUICIDE EVENT.  
           From me to Alex Wubbels:  I speak for myself here: YOU ROCK!!!! Thank you for holding your duty higher against thugs.
                       

                 
                 SIDENOTE  from a pathway so filthy and disgusting. Consider the absurdity of this event  Ladies and Gents. And the rightful party lost this case. Another case of our Country turned sideways...
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/12/melissa-nelson-dental-assistant-fired-for-being-irresistible-is-devastated/

                      4. We all share a space of real estate given to  us at any given moment in time. It's up to us how we wish to share our interactions between us.
                              We can be kind, gentle and patient with one another. Be willing and open-hearted to be a student and teacher.
                                                   >>>> OR<<<<<
                    WE could be some cock sucking, bitch ass texting cunt running over geese on Euclid Avenue, or some absent-minded fool that values some bizarre aspect of Speedway Points over  human Life-forms in a parking lot.
                              >>>>> DO WE NOT HAVE A CHOICE IN OUR DAILY LIVES?<<<
                                 
                     May we all live in peace and harmony. Look beyond racial bullshit without meaning.
                   

                      I hope and pray for such. >this shot of me taken by a lady Georgian some three years ago in Akron Ohio.<<<    
               
                     I wish to thank my wife, Gretchen for dealing with me at times like tonight. Gretchen, I love you as much as I can. I am grateful for having stay with me over the last 17 years.      

                    I also wish to extend gratitude toward the readers of my blog that may read this after well over a year original writing and found this.  So many years ago you kept me alive across our Blue Marble by your viewings/readings. I am thankful to you all!
     


                 

My 2016 Entry (part 1) : Distant Ships Reaching a Horizon: My First Seven Years of School.

                     Distant Ships Reaching a Horizon: My First Seven Years of School.
                                                                   by
                                                      Mark William Darus.

                                      NOTE: THIS DRAFT HAS NO EDITING. I'M CATCHING GLIMPSES AND WRITING THEM AS THEY OCCUR.... SORRY.......

                                   I was, in Late 1960's thru early 1970's,  in 'Special Classes'.  Grades 1 thru  6th grade. I did a second stint in the 6th grade because I was profoundly lucky to have a teacher named William Stuchal that tried halfway thru my 6th grade to integrate me with the mainstream classroom system. Being honest, looking back to such twisted memory, I could see how he thought this and learned to love this man. Between My Mother, Marion and him, they petitioned the Cleveland Public School to HOLD me back a year.

                 

                      Yeah, in modern day words when thinking of 'Special Class' I was supposedly some slack-jawed, drooling idiot that either bit people on their ankles or kicked, gauged or clawed at others.  Yet, according to my sisters or my own memory I was not like that at all. During that first seven years of my educational life, the only thing I truly remember was a teacher in kindergarten by the name Ms. Steele that liked to watch us boys piss into urinals.  (Yeah, that'd be a monumental lawsuit these days, but not in the 1960's. And, no, I'm not looking for a movie of the week Lifetime Channel extravaganza, but looking back it could be one.

           IMAGINE A NARRATIVE:  How her glaring eyes locked on our parts, yellow flowing , our stance. >do you feel a little sick at this?<  Woman would state as video shows this: "She intently watched each and every, perhaps, overloaded boy pass his liquid by-product to urinal. Inhaling deeply, maybe with a hand in her pant-legs, gasping a sigh....." and so much more bullshit could I share gazing back, though it was true then.

                       Well, boys of the late 1960's/early 70's didn't. If we had to go, we just let it out. We just let it flow and occasionally wondered why some woman was watching us piss more intently than our fathers who attempted to teach us to learn proper aim and ability whilst remembering to place the seat down afterward. We, then as boys, often laughed about it. Joked about it as boys of that ERA LONG AGO past would share National Geographic Magazines with one another showing topless Aborigine women dancing about as freely as Current teens would share a Cougar/MILF Anal Freedom website would do these days.

              >>>>> And I am sorry, my work/life and Church family: But, yeah, the only thing that has changed with Pornography is the delivery method. Much quicker these days...  <<<<<
                   

                        Note: This will be convoluted and sketchy at best with my recall.

          AUTHORS NOTE: 08232017 finding this as a draft. I'm not embarrassed so lets toss it out there. I seriously cannot believe i was the only perverted this way in a day when parents didn't sue school systems. Not sure what this means for others decades away from day. Consider those like me that didn't become rapists OR rich with parents backwhen  with a lawyer in pocket.
              We just grew and did with what we had.
               A few of liked to make bombs, which was fine back that many decades ago. No one got hurt though craters were created and a few windows were wasted during the concussion ring splayed out.  I was about 12-14 at that time.

               
               

Introduction: What became of 2015?.. What have you learned and grown from it?

   

                                                                    Introduction.
                           What became of 2015?.. What have you learned and grown from it?
                                              words and Christ given thoughts for sharing
                                                                       by
                                                     Mark William. Darus,

         

                        Looking back on 2015....

                        As a new year approaches dawning, what will you remember? What memories will you cherish as others you cast far and away?  Considering all the interactions you've had with so many walking/talking and dare i say thinking humans, how many of the 31,536,000 seconds of a years time will take hold in your heart?

                       Okay, at least as far as I'm concerned, it's a totally loaded question. Sorry, but hey, you know the way i write.

                         As I look back on twenty 15, now listening to a band called Gunship: Tech Noir, (which my daughter Becki gave me a listen from her husbands Razors when I saw her last Wednesday.   Over a year and half  had passed without our  togethernous. So good it was to see her again with my eyes, to feel her embrace so missed over time and life as diversions,  we try so hard to justify and usually  fail  over time. That once bright and shining road of  best intention sometimes sweeps down murky desolate pathways, often causing separation. Becki, my youngest daughter, I am sorry for this. A day never passed without thinking of you. How you were doing and things you saw and felt).
                     

                                    Let's take a quick peek back at 2 zero 1 five:

                     ISIS remains doing its thing across the globe.They so loving killing others for the benefit of doing, forgetting their own rules say they should first try to  convert before killing.  This group of Islamic extremists slayed hundreds/thousands (this depending on your news source, American media tends to dumb this down to lessen impact. Why do you think they'd do this?

                    Being on Fbook and having a blog hitting over eighty countries, i have many friends from countries that often send me news articles from their  countries. Needless to say, whom should we believe: the site wanting us to be more updated with newer and better apps or the one that simply tells us as THEY saw it?

                   France took several hits this year as ISIS raged on, as did many other countries that did not hit the mainstream  news with lives being lost like a childs tears in the rain.  I prayed as I heard about  each of their events. I prayed recklessly as i think a good christian should do: YOU PRAY LIKE YOUR HEART IS A SHOTGUN OF THE LIVING  LORD! I spewed, chucked, heaved my meager souls wishes to all involved, blasted my hopes and prayers for them to find the  peace  of christ, and if not with HIM, than with something that also breeds a sense of Hope and Love toward others instead of some disgusting ever-igniting fuel for vengeance and body-count-payback bitch hunkering over their weaker shoulder.

                  I prayed aloud as I do more often than not. Oddly, as two zero 1 five played out in my life, that became harder to do in the general course of a day in my life, In time, we;ll get to that.

                Damn! Sorry I forgot about the myriad of shooters hitting American Soil wasting lives in spree, serial, passion, and homicidal urges, mass killings . USA SHOOTINGS 2015 , Maybe some of  these events hit your radar via radio, TV or internet, perhaps catching your heartstrings for a  slender fragment of your day.    I hope you took a time and a word in prayer., or not. It's okay.

                  It really is okay.   Learning is a life long event for those who find an open mind and heart within themselves. Easier learning   for those tossing pride to the curb as well as materialism, leaving 'The Comfort Zone" and seeking a deeper, more spiritual life/light to guide them,  I'm not saying you have to hit Rock Bottom  to find this state, but I'm told it helps.

                 A few years back, in an email (nearly 12 pages long)I sent my eldest sister Holly, I told her that for those like me, there is no such thing as Rock Bottom. I told her we'd   neither acknowledge  nor allow such event to  become or define us and we'd merely continue about and trundle onward for whatever reason propelled us.

                 In that email sent to Holly, which she said was the most lucid thing I had ever written, coming from a Grad of CWRU with a degree in Journalism, created in early 2012,  came as a result of bipolar meds taking hold, granting me a focus to write once again. I thanked my savior, he had given me a chance to express myself clearly. It was from that email to my sister Holly I created my Psychopathy blog on a dismal Saturday at Progressive Insurance. I had thought: hmmm, if she thought that email was good, maybe others might like or learn from what I have to share...

                Granted, I am   a textbook example of an asshole. Seriously, ask anyone that truly knows me and they'll tell you that about me.  One  that  believes in hope, positive thoughts and enduring personal elements all should have to find a better day for others to share.  Well, I have no issue being called an asshole, dickhead, Conservative Republican fuckwad, Suppository of Democrat Party Agenda  or anything else  for that matter, so long as I do/say what i believe in my walk with Jesus and his Dad.  God and his Kid give me strength, an ability to persevere, stand tall, hold true and keep an open mind toward and a heartfelt  respect for others.

                 Doesn't your Higher Power grant you the same if you're strong enough to embrace it?

                 Be True to yourself....

                 Hugs,
                 MWD

               

                           

                         


   

                 

               

                 

                       

                     How many of us have been here?

Getting Married on September five 2015. 4 days and counting/thoughts of a Journey.

photo credit to Marti during our Engagement ceremony.)

               Getting Married on September five 2015

I have known Gretchen for over 15 years and desire her more each and every day in my heart than the over 5400 days we've been together. This tugging, pulling toward her everlasting has been truly astounding. The surprising highs and devastating lows we've dealt one another on our journey amazes me further that we are still together in the first place. 

I have little doubt Jesus and his Dad had much to do with our still being together.

  In our early days,some 15 years ago,  taking each other in to its fullest measure, devouring one another with insatiable desires of both felt love and flesh, connecting. Looking back, hindsight being 20/20, we would only screwed things up worse when I asked her to live with me.   Sincerely speaking, we did not know that then. I did not know that then, We based many a decision then on economic survival, yet our hearts were on the right track toward helping each other.  

 On that early living together, albeit in Sin, a brilliant gift was given us during our sinning. >>>Oh, I know how this must sound totally wrong in my expression , yet please hear me out as I see/feel/express things far differently than most. My ability to express myself has made me loathed and hated by many as they considered it blasphemy while others think it true and just. 

        My very own expression of thought in my writing has cost me more than a few friends. Hurtful to me, yet understanding their need for distance, loving them all the same.  God yelled at me many times to Stay The Course, So I meekly did as told, hating the Fall-out, crying at the loss of many in my life, cursing His Name while obeying all the same.  

      My Sisters will not allow Gretchen in their homes for Christmas as they think her to be the worst thing that ever happened in my life. They would have me with them yet could not tolerate two to three hours with them if Gretchen be at right place by my side.  

               

            How would Jesus and God grant us gifts AS we continually sin before them? 

            I don't look at my past transgressions as a rationalization in any aspect of my life.  I sinned relentlessly, did what I did with others and more often than not found myself a counselor to those I sinned with. For the longest time of my life , confused  greatly by how so many girlfriends confused love for affection. .Eventually learning how this happens during their stressed growing years while reading countless psychology books since age 12  Guiding others for their reaching, learning, growing higher grounds they could not imagine in gaining their dream-future. 

 I do not and will not condone sin while in my background i have delved into many. I have shattered many of the Ten Commandments.   Yet I can understand sins motivations. I understand why people make choices to become life-mates without Jesus at their pulpit. Choose drugs, alcohol and sex as a quick cure-all for loneliness, depression and casting off others . Why so many take another lover/mate to serve as a human-band aide for a quick cure to heal their pain, self doubts  instead of just dealing with it and learning from it and taking the Christ given time to heal thy self.  They, get remarried within a year and end up in divorce court down the road. I KNOW so many aspects of how we let these things happen within us. I know this so damn well I find myself at a loss to know why I haven't remarried far sooner. I think I know why though. I have always been a somewhat faltering junkie of the words of Moses and Jesus, and I always strive to give each encounter my best,When I say "faltering junkie" I do not attempt to shout the words of scripture to others as quite frankly i cannot sincerely quote any passage of the bible. I simply share what I feel about Jesus and God in my words and thoughts and hope I am doing them right in the process. I know when I fuck it up though: I get a flat tire, write up by a boss for something I did not have a hand in, a traffic ticket i did not earn. Funny, i just take that in stride, smile at those accusing, consider it Murphys law and go on. 

               Here we go on my beliefs Jesus has a way of working even during our sin. 

   Gretchen found the inner strength to become the mother I think she always hoped to be as I prodded her furiously  while risking her cutting me off from her life in fear,  I merely told her what I thought about taking her son instead of his father granting guardianship to a mutual friend at the stroke of pen to make it all neat, tidy and legal. I told her I would stay by her side no matter what while she took her son back to daily life. It's ugliness, delays, personal pitfalls while sharing smiles, laughter and deep happiness just doing your best and being together.

     Without me knowing anything at the time in regards to myself, without copulation, I would grow, learn and  find a son in my life. A male kid to share much I shared with my daughters only different. Her son in my life would grow in sharing many elements neither of us would have found otherwise. How is not a blessing from God almighty?

            Even in my sin of our union together back then, I found myself giving her the right words to make it happen for her. I was nothing more than a mouthpiece, and I am so happy to share this: I knew this even then.  I've often told others:" Well, if it hadn't been me, someone else would have said this to you. " 

         Many decades ago, my sisters saw a pattern in my relationships. I never had a 'like/or physical similarity type constant,  They called me a Rescuer. They would pronounce this with such disdain and sadness in tone.  All I can say on that is this; I acted with each partner as i had the power to do so. 

         

     On the Neat,  Legal and tidy.... 

       Where would a mind play decades down a road of regrets when you realize how much you have missed in a childs life as you get older and time does its dance on your conscience?         

      And with that I end my sermon on Jesus's gifts to us as we sin, while we sin and in so sinning, by he and his fathers grace, an incredible flower can blossom from self doubt, fear and personal loathing. 

          The closer the day comes, so many changes heading my way quickly  as things fall into proper place have surrendered fully in the arms of Jesus, (my heart seeking new employment, moving from the only city/county i have ever known, leaving my comfort zone of Urban WestSide existence and the ever increasing homicide rate around it. ) and knowing in my heart of hearts this is where I should walk with such an amazing woman at side that tried so hard to steer me away from 'my Zone' so long ago as she understood I had more to learn. She, staying with me after several break ups, . I Pledge myself to her, Gretchen, as in four days we are about to be married in the eyes of not only those in physical presence but Jesus as well as we profess our unity and love for one another.

           
               Is not our lord a forgiving lord? Our God, not an Awesome God?

            My belief: We would not be getting married if those two elements were not so in our lives.
-MWD

         

Huge Explosion in China! "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!"

                   
                                Here's the Video I found  that says it best.

                                                                "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!"

                          a MILE AWAY, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

                          Dearest Jesus and your father, I beg you to grant peace to all affected and killed by this. Please forgive their sins before you as they died simply working for a living.

                         I cannot imagine the horror of going to work and having it violently go berzerk and exploding, Sending concussive blast waves that decimate windows a mile and a half away.

                         My brothers and sisters: Think of the homeless created by this. They living in company dormitories that no longer exist as the blasts leveled them flat like a pancake.

                       Think of life living under the suns heat without shelter. No longer having mere sink faucet to grant you water to satisfy thirst.  Dehydrating, your children suffering, their eyes going flat and lifeless.

                Why is it when I say such to Americans things like this, they so simply quip: Well, they made bad life choices....

                       And then I ask them if they attend a church, most responding: Every sunday.

                          Imagine a life out in the cold.

                         Well,  during the summer months, few think about those challenges...

                         MWD

                         

Going forward in reverse! Re-edited for the fun of it....

                                         

                     Brooklyn Messenger: Into a new decade!
                        Version -17, 2 cyber Addishun, 1966.
                                   Oct. 2, 2012 send date.

　

                       Our late October Clam was a HUGE success!

　

          An amazing turn-out came forth to enjoy BMUMC first annual Clambake! Many showed to display financial support for our beloved community in Christ on such a chilly November afternoon! Cold as it was, hearts grew most warm when the massive pressure cooker blew to smithereens!

           So blessed were we that several of our flock were paramedics and quickly treated those that encountered second degree steam burns and massive shrapnel intrusions .  So quick did they respond after guzzling so many  of our "Serving Those for the Benefit of Others' free Bud Lites the average person would have  faltered, fainted or just freaked out. Not these men and women, no sireeeee! They gave prayer, most giving praise to our Lord chorally stating:" Holy Shit!" Frantically Dialing 911 with the cells requesting aide,  though sometimes nailing 411 instead,  being greeted with calm female voice: "How can I direct your call?" 

              

                    Many further away from this unfortunate event were happy to receive a baptism of corn kernels and clam hunks that descended from Gods blue skies above them

            “Baptism by falling corn! How utterly unique!” said Abner Jockhead, smile beaming from him as he wiped corn from his loving children’s crying heads. 

            A slender brunette lady wearing a slinky royal blue dress, lacking underwear lines, vastly 'Coked-Up', ventured her thoughts: "This is sooooo cool! I've caught popcorn tossed at me with open mouth, but clams?!?! Never in my life! God be blessed most high!!!! Clams from Heaven! Tastes like Crab though"

           “Wow, can’t say I’ve seen this before!” an unidentified bleach blond wearing the devils short-shorts said enthusiastically. "Anyone know when the 22 bus crosses Archwood and West 25?"

            So many gave loud rejoicing to our lord Jesus, powering us with glorious words of praise, several asking for Jesus to save them: “Jesus Christ!” “Oh my F76k*&G GOD!” “Dear Lord, save us all!”

         One plainly dressed brunette female, who looked Amish, firmly asked for our lord to take her moodiness away from her: “CAN SOMEONE PLEASE REMOVE THIS CRAB CLAW FROM MY EAR?”

         Interesting further still were the amount of Baptists (undoubtedly Holy rollers) that shared with us this fine day. They began frantically rolling around on the ground, telling all how they felt their hearts engulfed with fire of Jesus. “JESUS, GOD ALMIGHTY, I’M ON FIRE!” “I am BURNING, Lord!” God in heaven, rescue us!”

          Some of the Baptists even experienced the freakish phenomenon of spontaneous human confusion! Thank goodness a few stout parishioners had blankets in their trunks to put out their flames!!!

　

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          Soon after the god-filled members of Clevelands EMS units swept those praising God away, we sat and ate a hearty and wondrous meal of exquisite Alaskan clams, Cambodian chicken, Paraguay corn and many a great side dishes prepared by our very own Chapter of the Blue Haired Ladies Guild!

   More than one in attendance graciously remarked how the clams tasted like crab and the corn had the flavor of refried beans. A few of our Chinese congregation spoke of how chicken had the distinctive and surely imported texture of boiled dogs.

              Our Minister shared with us.

"My children, as bread is broken, as we sip, and I must add, the finest of the David Brainless Lounge’s well stocked bar, and at .75 cents a glass a true bargain, not to mention a new craft draft beer from The Cleveland Sewage Companies fine line of ales and lagers, we are sharing divine inspiration at its sublime peaks at a reasonable price! Far gone are the days when we scurried about aimlessly like tiny microbes in search of grandiose parking lot ventures with an evil desire for further real estate!”

Pausing briefly, taking in a generous swig from his tall glass of Cleveland Sewage Companies East Ohio Gas Explosion 1944 IPA, he proudly went on to say how we, Brooklyn Memorial United Methodist Church, have come a long way and will reach greater heights in the coming years. He spoke of the immense generosity of CSC Brewing Co and how they donated kegs for our event. As he exited our grand outdoor pulpit, unquestionably from poor construction, he lost balance and fell to ground where he soon fell asleep. Snoring loudly to the lord, perhaps having sleep apnia, he rested tranquilly on the weed infested tarmac.

Freddie (Alkie) Peters quickly swaggered up to Pastor Ivan and covered him lovingly with a somewhat tattered and vomit smelling Cleveland Browns quilt. “Yes sirrie Bob, he’s out the like the Cavaliers hitting a par-five with a slapshot!. He’s snoring now!”  Such sublime eloquence,  Freddie. Thanks for sharing!

After eating, we had a contest! Courtesy of Long Johns Putt and Stuff, we had a small driving range set up for those that wished to try their hand at golf! Aimed directly at Wishmiers Funeral home, the winner was Ed Marzecian, slicing hard right and missing the netting completely. He took  out of four of their v windows! The prize was a coupon for 15 dollars for our own Methodish restaurant.

Truly, at five dollars a plate, a great time was had by all!
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                                      Accepting Gays all the way!

We dancing to the Rainbow, ho ho ho dont'ya know????

Taking a very  long time for our church to accept Hispanics, Negros, Croatians, Polish and Negros into our fold, we now accept Gay people!

Their turn out has been great and highly profitable for our church! Not only can they sing triumphantly, make great interior decorators, they are amazing cooks and generally contribute 20% of their income!

Truly a win-win on this! Praise god!
　 　 From the Pastors rain damaged desk and beer soaked mind:

My flock, we took a hit on the Clambake. Due a clerical error we purchased King Crab instead of clams and spent a great deal more than we received. We so grossly undercharged patrons of this event we lost approximately 5 thousand dollars.

We have to be far clearer in our thinking as we open our hearts and souls to propel our church into the decade that began two years ago.

Hindsight being twenty-twenty, what will we think last week three months ago?

I am sure we can do much better!

Pastor Ivan Chanowitz.
　            Our church is being attacked!

Help us fight the insurgents of evil as our church is facing lawsuits on many fronts!

Like Germany in World War II, Cuba’s Bay of Pigs or the Sherman’s March to the Sea, there’s always going to be collateral damage with any history making event.

Though we religiously sympathize with the burn victims and many a broken window from our First Annual Clambake, we surely cannot be held responsible for what can only be called ‘gods will.’

We are currently seeking Christian lawyers to help us stop these ferocious firings across our bow.
　 In closing this electronic entry.

As we face yet another great month, we must realize our importance in Christ as we
　 >>>>due to space limitations and bandwidth issues we must add this<<<<

Methodish Restaurant now offers the best of Kosher cuisine!

Our menu now sports Grilled Salmon, Salmon Cakes and Gelfilte Fish Sandwiches sure to please the pallets of the Jews. We also have the tastiest Mothaball (I have never heard of matzah balls before and have difficulty in spelling it. I must think I was given a poor spelling. After all, what food has moths and balls in it?) soup you have ever experienced. So rich in flavor, heart-attackingly drenched in salt with the purest of ducks blood added to it, we think we nailed this multi-cultural favorite down cold yet served hot!

Ever heard of a Kosher BLT? Well, we have it! Succulent Indonesian grown Lettuce married with the finest of Ukrainian Tomatoes pulled together by the fabulous Bologna of Greenland! All ingredients piled high and nestled between to best smoked wood-added bread Taiwan has to offer!

Grape Kool-Aid added to our extensive beverage menu! This classic drink, loved by grandparents, parents and kiddies alike, now served here! Please pray as you drink it in memory of the Jonestown incident.

Did I mention the Cajun Greens as a side dishes?

We’ve also found a place lacking on our breakfast menu: Authentic Southern Grits! An incredibly tasty dish created by toothless immigrants that don't speak InGrish.

We’re quite sure this new addition to our menu will bring many smiles, and dare we say, the heartiest belches we have ever witnessed!

At Methodish, we believe the bottom-line is more bread for less bread!

>>>>>>>>>>>…................................................................................<<<<<<<<<<<<
　 For the Community Around us.

Believing our mission is take those needing help into our realm, we are proud to announce that we’ve employed those around us! In the last month we have hired no less than 6 children of God! Taking in the homeless, purchasing soul-filled discarded WWII cots for them to rest on for a good nights sleep. Placing them in the vacant area adjacent to boiler room for comforting heat and a profound sense of communal joining, we felt it most necessary to give them the best we can meagerly offer.

And at 100 bucks a month, how can we go wrong, my brethren? Sure, some may say we are cheap in payment for services rendered, yet know this brothers and sisters: It’s not like they aren’t getting Welfare, SSI or Disabled Veterans pay. We are giving them the chance to feel useful once again. A chance to feel needed.

We’ve placed two of them in the service of Methodish, and in my opinion and highly paid beliefs, a mighty place to meet Jesus halfway.

In fact, it was William Mark Daruskinheim that said it best when he was sent to cook for us: “I gives drugged self to Jimmy Jones and bak’ries of grape muffins! Thunks, Methadone church takin’ muh in wit my scabby arms ’n falling hairs. Beings a half Nigra, half Asian, half Holstein and two thurdz Whiteness guy, I hopes a’gin! Can I cook Jew food? I’s can bbq’d salmon b’ter than a’nee mofo! Swears, Allah, Fiat be reincarnated, I can does m’bestest. Cants waits fuh ya at tries my grape Kool-Aid! It’s duh bomb!”

So enormously graced to have one of such enthusiasm under our dome, we can only be granted the highest endowments of our Lord.

>>>another word, this time from a patent holder<<<

From the !!! Company, BFE Ohio. Your fine page grants me such splendid royalties from your complete usage of exclamation points that you are putting my children through not only MIT but Harvard as well! Thank you!

>>>>>>>>>>……............................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

                                         

Heidi’s Brother: Mark William Darus 1002032012

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
　 Authors Note: this is a SATIRE of the church mailings I grew up with. Of the many that read P:SA from many Countries, I ask you do not take offense to this. It was written for the sake of humor.

Granted, where the USA is concerned, you should take some offense as we, pardon the pun, farm out most things to other countries and sell our own people short.

It was my pleasure to write this.

I dedicate this to you, Holly, Heidi and David H. <perhaps I should send this Wayne S? lol> 

A Child Dead Lost Like Tears in the Rain. Baptism Given by Jesus...

                                         

                                          A Child  Lost Like Tears in the Rain,
                                                                         by
                                                       Mark William Darus.

             
                        Decomposing Toddler Found in Apartment.
                       
                        I am so disgusted and angry by this I don't know how to begin writing about it.

                        I heard about this while driving to work listening WTAM on the radio. I was swigging my Dark Roast coffee from Speedway, puffing an L&M Turkish Blend 100, happy this was my last day of work this week. I have Friday off as I need to go downtown to get a copy of divorce decree to get a marriage license as well as have my Trailblazers front end get a serious mechanical overhaul.

                       A commercial about Home Windows,  with an enthusiastic female singer, trailed off...

                       "A toddler was found dead in a crib in Medina today! It is believed this child had been dead for some time due to the state of decomposition..."

                               I screamed aloud, put my right fist into roof of my SUV, "NOOOOOOO!!!!" This at the intersection of Bagley and Pearl rd, on a sunny afternoon, my eyes seeing kids running into the McDonalds for Happy Meals with parents in tow.

                             I heard another crying, sobbing louder than I had ever heard before. I looked to the direction.

                             I saw a blond haired lady with dark aviator sunglasses. She looked so disturbed and messed up. She was trying to wipe away her tears without taking her shades off.  I'm quite certain many would video this for a You Tube entry, but not me.

                           "You Okay? " such a stupid question to toss to another while watching them hurting. I so sometimes believe myself idiotic and dense.

                           "I-Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii, rayyyyyyyyy-D-OH st-st-st-st0ry of dddddead kid."  she struggled while trying quench tears with a handkerchief, her delicate hands clearly trembling about her face.

                             Red light went to Green.... no one honked. Odd....

                           "I heard as well just now. I am hurt by news like this. Do you believe in Jesus?"
                     
                           "YYYYYESSSSS" shades off, her eyes meeting mine.

                            "Let's pray as we go about our day for this child, okay?"

                              She went her way as i went mine.

                               I think of the past. Songs about people cut down, slaughtered and anthems created to have a nation rise.
                                   4 Dead in Ohio


                    Yet so many children are slaughtered each and every year in my nation while no songs are made for them. No monuments raised in their honor as they never had a chance to live after being born.  Their tiny bodies in various states of decomposition, perhaps being gnawed on by animals, after being discharged by yet another pedophile.

                                   Let me make one point most clear here.

                    No, I am not talking about Abortion!  I have my beliefs on this and am willing to share that with anyone strong enough to listen to me.

                     I'm talking about babies born into seriously horrific places.

                     Movie Quote: The Breakfast Club: Judd Nelson, his character abused with cigarette burns via his father, says,  (and I will mess up this quote,  but here goes: "You have to pass a test to get a drivers license, but they'll let any swinging dick become a father..."


                     These so innocent  Babes created into peace and beauty,  later to be   tossed into so many filthy and foreboding elements after being discharged from clean and friendly environments of a hospital. From smiling  Nurses/Aides , loving their job, greeting,  cooing over their so fragile, tiny frames from  feeding them to administering Light to thwart of jaundice.  These Nurse/Angels giving them an incredible best start from sincere heart and dedicated belief of professionalism,

                      These  Incredible men and women, Nurses/Aides and House Keeping personnel with their smiles/prauers and best wishes  welcome a new child into OUR world to eventually send them off...

                       As they let go, at times  their instincts wanting to pull child back into their safe-ness, they 'Do their Job' and release. Imagine their plight, being and pray for them as they need to the best we can offer up to support them.

                  AMERICA! FOR SAKE OF YOUR OWN CONSCIENCE, or for your belief in Jesus, find your balls, or tits as you are female and speak your mind!!!!!: So many children are slaughtered, sold in pedophile jungles both here and abroad each and every year.

                    My Brothers and Sisters in Jesus, may i ask you this? How many of these babes were ever Baptized?  My Question to runs deeper and i believe it relevant. : Can a group of believers in Jesus do a baptism for those who never stood a chance for a baptism?

                      I sincerely believe we can find a way as I know this can be in my heart.

                     In Jesus name, I pray!!!!!

                      I will find a way to make this happen for them, so help me God!!!!

       

                      -Mark william Darus