Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Watching another die: a parent.
The story of Alex.
"She wants to pass at home," Alex expresses a mothers feelings. Knowing her mother wishes to be with her cat. Missing her cat most profoundly during this last hospital stay, the mother agrees.
Social Worker at hand, a hospice representative present, hospital staff at the ready, things swirl sideways as well intentioned words and paperwork get shuffled around.
Alex, an LPN in the highest order, takes all passed information in, creating a new file to place this into.
At no point does Alex take into consideration the basic reality Alex should get a grasp on: MOM IS DYING AND MORE OVER, SHE WANTS TO DIE.... And I should feel something....
Yet Alex, focused on the needs of the MOM, dismisses her base emotions for the benefit of another.
Though this has its place, one must give themself the grace to break down and cry. Feel all that crashes on their doorstep. Like waters moving, let them pass from their eyes... The physical act of shedding tears has benefits few ever realize in areas of respiration, muscle tension and the freeing of the mind.
BEWARE "FUNCTIONING MODE" when dealing as the prime care taker of a loved one. Functioning Mode is great for lawyers, and general decision making, but the the fall out sucks huge down the road in regards to a loved one....