Friday, June 7, 2013
Not sure how this week unfolded, yet it did.
You told me approximately when I broke 20,000 hits this last weekend and I thank you and your gentle kiss on my cheek when this occurred. This, thru your enthusiastic tone gave me such a mental hard-on, yet only sleep would yield an appropriate orgasm of mental satisfaction.
I am an idiot. I am pleased by my minds creations thru my thoughts and photos and how its greeted by the world.
You are an idiot for believing in me as I can offer you no safe harbor. No sense of stability profound, little sense of your belief in your dreams of a better life. I can only give you what I am and what I do at any given point. Curve balls, sliders and my worst trait: Honesty.
1001 Arabian Nights, though I only have about 200 nights stories to cast this direction, I yet think it kind of cool to have created them. I have a lot to write to hit 1001 entries. At the rate I currently write, I've got about 5 more years left. Given reader desires and self thoughts, I can do this and am driving toward this challenge.
Tell me: Where are all the thoughts shared not deserving of my thought and publishing on my blog? Many hundreds have sent me email with comments and stories. If there were but a hundred hours in a day...
I love to write the ugly and disgusting of humanity. I think eventually my photography will find a ghastly point of depression. I love to write what I believe to be the truth. I photograph as I do, write about it giving me balance, equilibrium. Sorry, sounds like bullshit to me...
I write and keep pushing. I don't give two shits what anyone thinks about me as I do what I do. I do this simply because I hear a calling different from others. I am guilty of sedition on our country and let them lock me up for it.
Seriously: When we cast off as the bible suggest about vanity, self absorbance, and pride, (and granted on this I have two out of three strikes against me) people should do what they can for one another.
I'd like to think with my blog I have been the best man that I can. With its words and stories I have tried to teach others things of life, perhaps from an odd viewpoint, yet I have tried to reach out with the help of others to teach.
You should do the same in your life.
Ember Have an idea for you, my cherished one. You'll hate it if I can make it happen. I'm such a prick. I cause pain in others with my honesty and hurt you. So tell me how the earth likes to the poundings of the rain to make plants and vegetables grow from it? Water torture sucks. Chinese water torture and so forth.
Ember: and others: You so desperately think as you become scared, your stomach begins to plunge to your pit. THUD, as it hits bottom with you. Experiencing panic wishing to engulf you fully, running blindly. That this is the End of you. Surely, there is only so much a life can withstand before auguring in and diving down.
Yet, only a fraction of you go fully and mate their earthly beings with that of the pavement.
Learn from me. I have been without a great deal in the United States Of America.
I have been beaten down so much in the last year and a half as you have seen. Lack of cash, tossing an arm toward plasma money, living a winter without gas heat, eventually having my electricity shut off for the last one and half months of winter. The gas got shut off in November of 2012. HEAP told me I did not qualify even though when I applied there I was denied unemployment from the State Of Ohio and Progressive Insurance. Progressive, via the State of Ohio called me a thief.
I have had help from others. I did not ask for this. I think it is from this that is the true description of a friend.
I got a job from my youngest daughter to gain coin.
Yet I, when able, still kept posting my thoughts.
If I were capable of what you call love, I might look at you this way,
Mark William Darus. 06072013