Met some asshole after work today.
What he shared sent me backward
to a piece I wrote some 11 years ago.
WARNING: THIS IS A LONG READ FOR YOU.
Met some asshole in line at Speedway on Lakeshore and Vine st after work this morning after I got my wife House Blend coffee and me a 6 of Great Lakes IPA then stepping to the LINE.
He, upset about the length of the line, rambled about how he needed to get home to his family )))all this fucker had was a case of PEPSI and a 6 of Bud Light(((. He was grumbling and such and I said: "Chill, man. The issue is all the Idiots going for lottery tickets slowing shit down. It's not the staff." He than said something I still have a hard time believing.
"Hey shithead! I gotta keep my bitch happy, got two kids with her and don't wanna write them off like my other two kids because of bitch!"
Flabbergasted, feeling a stress to use my mouth carefully, I said to him, "is there anyway I can help?"
He was then called toward a check-out person, the smell of burning hot dogs and other roller items catching hold of me. Yeah, we are in a Speedway after all...
As he finished paying for his items, he glanced at me and said this: "I hope you never make the same mistakes I have."
I nodded to him, thanking him for the advice and wished him the best....
This hit the WAYBACK MACHINE for me as I wrote something about like via friends/coworkers life-sharing's. this some 11 years ago....
This is what I wrote then.
Titled:
Deadbeat parents: Fuck you, I've got a new family.
The term Deadbeat parent, by most aspects of society, only deals in monetary values. What of the emotional destruction to the kids as their parents so easily forget them?
Ever wonder how a man could completely turn his back on his kids after spending years with them? They appear to be a near perfect, highly attentive father and husband. Neighbors would consider him devoted to his family: Sisters and brothers might say ‘this marriage and being a daddy has done him a world of good.’
I do not imply that all these men/women are Psychopaths, but one must wonder.
How is it these men/women can so effortlessly turn their backs on their own? Do they feel any guilt, shame or remorse? I have to think they don’t or can’t. One has to have a serious lack of emotion to do such a thing and ditch those they supposedly loved or at least gave an illusion to all those around them that they cared in the first place.
These is no statistical information about this: I am simply putting a theory of my own observations out there in the hopes to get responses based on personal events. Be it the child that was coldly blown off or the parent that did the distancing.
I do not subscribe to the bullshit lines we all hear so often: I just can’t stand to see that bitch! I’d rather be without the kids than deal with her. He was unfaithful and he back stabbed me to get the kids, so fuck him, let him deal with it. I need to move past this and go forward. I being proactive and take this as just a phase in life.
My favorite line: I’ve got a new family now and I need to work on that…
These people are twisted in the highest order, and therefore, deserve some examination.
How is it their new mates cannot see the simple, glaring fact: If they did this to those before them, what makes them think the same will not occur again?
Love conquers all? This new love is better, and will last. I’d never treat him/her like their ex, and they’ll appreciate it all the more and stay with me and my kids. I’m a much better lover! Who in their right mind would walk away from that?
They so readily fall for this person that ‘sacrificed their own kids to be with me and mine.’ They tell there friends this, and so willingly believe it they have little idea what they are getting into.
These people have become the new, soon to be abused, next conquest for the Psychopath. And they are taking their kids in tow into this world of lies and disorder. God, or some higher power help them if they have a child by this person as nothing can create such an emotional wasteland like that of the predator.
Granted, this is not always the case as some people are so emotionally fucked up and scarred that they simply don’t know their own mind and are fools to love and the feeling it gives them. This works both ways as both can give up their own for something they believe lacking in their lives and wish for something new, so bright and shining: to make them feel alive and important again.
Let me state this: I pass no judgment on these people. The Psychopathic or the wandering fools that place a ‘new love’ above all else. They both leave scars on all those involved and place themselves above all else. They are both equally selfish and are sociopaths in various levels of degree. Small wonder the children of these human train wrecks grow up with bonding issues with peers, teachers and authority in general.
They have been betrayed by those they loved the most: their own parent. Distance can hurt and kill a Childs development. These kids can feel so badly as they think they did something so horribly wrong to make the parent that cut them out of their young lives. With guilt, shame, and some lack on their part, they grow up with these thoughts that only grow larger with each passing year that it does not get addressed.
Perhaps they waste all emotions in their young lives. The past they’ve lived with takes over, the hurt encompasses them, a futility in the most innocent of love and they grow like a house built on sand versus good bedrock. They grow cold, slowly losing touch with the good things, like tossing a ball with dad or baking cookies with mom. Feeling nothing is better than feeling good to be hurt someday.
As mom/dad bring some new person into their lives, and seeing this happen repeatedly, they get a feeling that love is merely temporary and grow with that knowledge. After all, one parent left them for some other family and forgot about them. Left them with nothing, or worse, a lame explanation: You’ll understand when you grow up…
They will get older. With that getting older they have learned the value of relationships: They are Bic Lighters. A flame that burns briefly and when it passes, just toss it out and get a new one.
When I volunteered for a youth center for a span of about 5 years, hearing teens talk about their parents and those that left them: the myriad of relationships the custodial parent had, they got the feeling, ‘fuck it, just go find somebody else’.
Emotions? These kids have little need for things that brought them pain. Get close to someone that will be gone in a space of months.
I believe this is where a new generation of Psychopaths are born.
Keep this in mind, and again I state, 4% of the people of the United States are Psychopaths. This accounts for roughly 3 to 4 million people. This number is growing with each generation. Mostly nonviolent sociopaths, they have a strong sense of this: Fuck them before they fuck you. Ditch the bitch before she drops the hammer on me. I’ll take him for what I can before he’s unfaithful to me and chucks me to the curb.
They learn to use others with little or no remorse. They use this skill in school, relationships and jobs as they progress through life. These kids have a cold, dead look in their eyes, a ‘soulless look’ when questioned about an action they did.
They lose all hope over time with so many failed relationships on their parents part. They feel somehow to blame for this. This happens because most fucked up parents would find it easier to blame them instead of themselves for ’this’ relationship dying.
And this seems to start with one of their biological parents splitting and cutting them off without so much as a goodbye.
If this child’s issues are ignored, neglected or compounded by the staying parents inability to take responsibility for their own actions, they will grow with a cracked-mirrored look at life.
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