Monday, January 14, 2013
Heroin and other clarities. Part one.
By Mark William Darus
How many of us haven’t known and addict or two? Surely most work with them and never notice it. Many places give ‘random drug tests, but how many seriously get busted for other than blood pressure meds or a fondness for poppy seed bagels? I’ve only known of one person to lose a job as a result of Pot usage and even then they did the ‘hair’ test to prove it.
Don’t get me wrong, in my fifty years, I’ve had my own share of addictions. One always shifted to another more from a desire to learn about it than any other reason. To be honest, boredom did play a factor in this journey. I’ve been to Rehab twice in my life. Everyone that knows me in the physical world only knows of one of those ‘trips’, so-to-speak, and that was for alcohol.
Addicts, like nonviolent psychopaths, are all around us. Most hold down successful jobs or are perhaps successful housewives or mates maintaining all things domestic with the kitchen, kids and sexual lies they give their men to keep their cover intact. That is until either their addiction takes total control of their lives or their self abused bodies falter. As for the sex-thing with women, let’s be honest here. The way to a mans heart, and keep it there is a full stomach and empty balls. Think about it…
What does your normal day consist of?
When you wake up each day/night, your eyes slowly open, their lids edges caked with dried ‘sleepers’ while a single, tiny yawn escapes your widely expanding mouth. This yawn gives birth to the stretching of your arms, legs and fingers as your body goes into an instinctive response to change as it takes inventory of its physical working parts.
As your day/nighttime world hits you, what is your first thought? What is your first desire? What is the one thing you need to get you moving and functional and simply start your hours both awake and working?
Is it the desire for strong coffee, a cigarette, two or three Red Bulls chugged as you blankly stare at floor not vacuumed for weeks or sex with the mate or your right hand as most men awaken with the trusty ‘stiffy’?
Alignment is what humans search for as they regain control of themselves as their slumber worlds fall to the so-called real world as false lighting cuts their eyes wide open, sobering them. A reason to be, some sense of justice in awakening their bodies. A purpose to keep going. One of so many deep breaths taken as they throw their legs over the side of a bed to connect with cold flooring as their feet say ‘OUCH“ on a winter morn.
“When I got up, all I wanted was another shot. You know, a half shot of ‘H’ to make me level. So the fuckers I crashed with refused me this constantly. Some of these men would ask me to eat metal objects for twenty bucks. I’d do it…”
“Metal?” I asked.
She stared blankly at the corner of my living room wall, sitting on my couch with her left sagging breast and erect nipple pointing out. She spoke as one would about a flat tire needing a change.
“’Verts! These fuckers would love to watch me suck down metal nuts and shit. They said they liked to watch it fall down my neck.”
“and did they pass okay from your body?” I asked.
“yeah, it did and it didn’t. It depended on when I was wasted, okay? I guess it depended on what I ate. I sometimes had bloody craps.”
“You’re a fucker! You know that! I’ve been with you an hour and not once have you asked me to suck your dick.” She is highly agitated, unknown to her, the hairs on her arms are standing on end.
I see her tell tales, and proceed with my line of questioning about her day.
“When I paid you, I said I would not physically fuck you. Shall we continue?”
"I hate you!"
"Nice. I didn't pass my load into your mouth and your offended by this."
"Do you at least have fucking coffee, dickhead?"
Mark William Darus 01142012