Caller ID
by Ryn Cricket
I know who you are.
I know what you’re calling for.
I won’t answer the phone.
because I got nothin’.
You want money?
Get in line.
My pockets are empty
until the 15th
and most of that is already accounted for.
Yes, I know you’d like
your paper edited today
because you just finished it
and it’s due tomorrow morning,
But I have a lot of stuff to grade
you know, for work.
My friend needs a resume,
My editor keeps calling
Oh and these two little girls
who are always running around me?
They need my attention once in a while.
You want my mind?
Get in line
But for now,
I think it needs
a worry-free vacation
–it’s never had one.
I know who you are
and I know why you’re calling.
I’m not answering
because I”m tired of explaining to you
–and the others
that the cancer
and my psychopathic ex
sucked every sexual impulse
out of me.
You want my body?
Get in line.
If I ever get the slightest inclination back,
I might call you.
I know you prayed for me
while I was sick
It was important to you
and I appreciate it so much.
In fact, it probably worked
but I don’t think I need
organized religion –again.
I’m not anti-God
I’m just anti-pigeon-holing.
My spirit is a little freer than that.
You want my soul?
Get in line.
But I gotta tell you,
I”m all tapped out.
By Ryn Cricket 08042011