Sunday, May 5, 2013
"I want to go home," her voice whimpers as she attempts to die...
This is where we can all be together tonight.
by Mark William Darus
"you don't understand." she cries, tiny figure leaning over a huge bridge explaining. Rusted metal backgrounds slender human form in contrast. An ore freighter snorts a blasts below, her face turns white like a sky in January.
"Don't you understand?" Looking so small to me , yet hugely grand with her emotional display.
Tugged and dragged like sludge at the bottom of a shallow pond. I, like a moth to killing flame, go to her. Approach her as I watch her shift unceasingly like some Olga Corbit of the damned. "How can I help?" I ask.
"What makes you think you can stop me?" her voice splashes against car horns, ore freighters and the phucking general idiots of Cleveland Ohio.;;;\
"I don't think anything will make a difference to you,." My stance changes, sickly more for my Nikons view than anything else. Ready for to capture her face as her last foot leaves iron form as her body begins to fall.
She calmly looks at me. Her peaceful smile greets me. She is ready for death.
"Puh-lease, is there nothing I can say to hold you to last a bit longer with us?" I gave my best. Every encounters with Suicide-Pilots always grant different results. You have to still try, toss your arse out there.
As her left foot parted company, she descended quickly.
Idiotically, tossing myself to an iron girder with left arm stretched to catch her. My chest registering pain when slammed into am I-Beam..
Her eyes puncturing mine. Smaller and smaller she grows as her fragile body goes from a tall bridge into brighter deaths impact.
If my arms were longer...
If I hadn't failed yet again.\
I am so tired. Why do I see what others dismiss?
Her last words to me, nailing me like Christ to cross.
I reach for her.
There's a sunrise rising somewhere.
A moonrise taking hold across plains a half world away
This will be all over tonight.\
She so wants to die and go home.
This child of all of us tells me about disgusting abuses she had no control over. How uncles and aunts used and worked toward the death of her soul.
"Mark. Don't you see I want to die? Are you so stupid?"\
"Fine. You want to die. I'm going to try though,...
my left shoulder hurt on impact.
I got better.;..
Her last words echoing in me.
"This will be all over tonight."
The teen female rate of suicide has risen huge in the last ten years. Why is this? Is this just in the United States or is it globally?
Why so many of our daughters find death more appealing?
Compelled by this child's words, I wish to dig into the granite.
I watch her body get smaller and smaller beneath me as it falls and sways about as winds greet her. Like a slow motion movie with haphazard frames of motion skipping about.
I remember her face. I remember what she wanted me to share another nite as her face became smaller and smaller as it fell to the Cuyahoga river. Her face, so beaming as it plumeted to the darkness.
Her smile, so triumphant.;\
This will be all over tonight.
Mark William Darus 05052013