Thursday, December 26, 2013


                                                 My meager gift to you,  dear readers.
                                                            by Mark William Darus
                                          Where should I begin to thank all the gifts given me in the last twelve months? Granted, it hasn't been  the greatest of years. I do thank my personal god for the gift of muscle memory where it involves my ability to type. Going from an ergonomic keyboard to a Laptop was most tough. Yeah, playing Grand Theft Auto San Andreas made me ragged on my HP 2000 lappy.

              Processing this video to you here has proven  a near fucking nightmare here.

               I took these shots at the Cleveland Botanical Gardens event called GLOW. Mostly gingerbread houses and a few other things. Please forgive the audio as I did not have my Sennhisers when I mastered it even though this lappy has Altec speakers, it shows me no bass volume, which I did via meters and such.

               Enough already!

             We're heading for a new year, a e we not?

              Are we, at least most of us, not having greater thoughts and carrying bigger desires for this coming year than what we realized these past 31,536,000 seconds of our lives?

              I know I am and sincerely hope you share the same as you walk, stumble, careen thru your life in your hopes, beliefs a desires for what is true and righteous.

              Learn from weaknesses as you crawl toward your dreams.

                Miracles cam happen.

               Me still being alive is but one of their many touchings on our blue marble.

               Thanks to all of you for the past twelve months. You keep me alive in ways I never knew possible.

          Mark William Darus 12262013

Monday, December 9, 2013

Sorry for phoning it in these last few months.

                                                           Phoning it in....
                                                   by Mark William Darus

                         Sorry that certain circumstances got out of my control when it has come to this blog.

                          I cannot say it has risen from a result of creativity or my ability to notice things.

                        I can say it has come from my lack of paying attention to many aspects of my life I simply found to be mundane and lacking of interest. This being the paying of bills and such.

                       I write this via a laptop while using my great neighbors internet connection as I currently have no electricity in my home. Many thanks to Dave T for this. He didn't have to do this, but am profoundly grateful he did. Thru  a vast lack of maintenance in my backyard this past summer, via the smell of dog shit, I caused him much grief. I am sorry for this as there truly is no excuse worthy.

                      Here's  what has caught me the last few months. I give you these thoughts in the broadest of strokes:

                       The affordable care act: ObamaCare and it's 2700 pages of complete bullshit. Millions of Americans that had good coverage have been sent UP-Yours letters from their current insurance carriers because as their coverage stands, it does not conform to this new Federal Mandate. Obama was warned about this back in 2010, so who knows where the disconnect occurred.

                     Yeah, like any health insurance that covers birth control or abortions would ever be sanctioned by the Catholic Church, Christian based companies like Hobby Lobby or Chik-fil-a would even remotely entertain that prospect.

                      In, short.As if American Health care wasn't fucked up to begin, it has only gotten worse.

                      What else is there meaningful to write about? Think about?

                      How about the guy that blew up the front of a post office and turned himself into the police before it was even reported? Surely,  and I will post a link to this is good.

                      NELSON Mandela's passing hit hard. I will write about this when I can as this caught me harder than the passing of Actor Paul Walker.  Nelsons going onward left me speechless. This Man did so much in raising South Africa, if not our Blue Marbles awareness to the simplest of human rights. It was through him I stopped buying BP gasoline (brittish petroleoum) in the USA due to their stance on appartied. sp?

                     I heard this last week about China mining the moon via drones. I thought this provoking in reference to Helium 3 and/or Hydrogen 3. I took this in as I remember NASA was going to send men back to moon. NASA planned it, spent billions of American bucks on it then suddenly pulled then plug on just a few years ago. If we got men to the moon over 30 years ago, why would it be so hard to do it now with our amazing advanced computer skills, CNC machining capabilities and simple advances in the various sciences needed to do this?
                      I received this info from old school shit my mother taught me to embrace: AM  radio talk shows. From there, I did some reading. I ask you to do the same.

                        I ask you to have patience with me. Learning a laptop with WinBlows 8 is a bit tough.

                       Keep yourselves alive. Read and question everything your government feeds you with. Remember always: The freer you are given, the more you must question.







Monday, November 18, 2013

A Cold Day in Hell...


                                  American President apologizes?
                                          Never thought I'd see a cold day In Hell...
                                      by Mark William Darus

Affordable Care Act goes into full swing this January in the once great United States of America. It was constructed to make health care affordable and available to all. To many, it sounded too good to be true.

It was.

The President repeatedly told the American people they could keep their current doctors and health plans, maintaining their personal needs. He told his people this with massive confidence and unflinching stance.

Apparently, he didn't read his own fine-print.

Healthcare dot GOV was launched with all the confidence of the early Mercury Space program back in the baby-days of the US space race with Russia. Like that first unmanned rocket on the launch pad, attitudes and spirits ran high with incredible enthusiasm and hubris.

Like that first rocket launching, the skies above held clear and the most vibrant of deep blue tone, the morning air was crisp and clean. The eyes of well intentioned people held smiles as the LAUNCH BUTTON was pressed.

Applaud rang out unbridled as things went into motion.

Obama-care quickly burned to a crisp like poorly attended french fries at a fast food restaurant.

The Healthcare dot Gov website took a huge crap on virtually every nervous face that visited it. Massive lag, serious screen lock-ups, and generally poor system issues ran like an unknown virus that could eclipse the CDC. Your higher only has a clue how many entered vital, highly personal information only to be given the sweetest of messages stating the system is currently having issues, please try again later!


When things began to fall like single snowflakes quickly turning to blizzard conditions when driving on a freeway, perceptions changed drastically.

Within the first month, several hundred thousand Americans were sent Non-renewal notices of their existing health coverage based on either the ACA mandate as Insurance companies, either on the angle of greed or simply wishing to be compliant lashed out against those people and companies that paid them tirelessly

The website was created by a Canadian company, so we were told. My god, is this to say an American company couldn't be trusted with such a monumental task in creating a highly profound piece of history?

I'd like to believe US companies desired no part in this fantastic voyage as their think-tanks advised them of the potential legal nightmares as information would be breached, identities stolen and mayhem could occur in the digital age. I believe they tanked their quotes not wanting to potentitial fall out of system breaches, bug issues and general failures to pay them a visit like a bad check risking their futures. I further believe they did this much like the Republican party during the first election of Obama. Remember, the nominated Sarah as a vice presidential candidate, a rep from a state with the second lowest number for the college electoral votes (CEV). Let's face it: Presidents are not made by a vote of the people. They are made by the power of the CEV.

Well, to make this intro short: In no time at all, as our Leader said he was sorry, members of his own party scurried for cover as the truths began to rise like putrid froth in a toxic human waste dump. Once proud supporters quickly scurried far from his side and went public as to not be covered by the growing number of flies descending on the ObamaCare river of filth. 

       One of his own advisers warned him that some 93 million Americans would lose their health coverage based on the ACA, as it was being drafted, back in 2010, our leader pressed on.

In the coming days, weeks, I hope to share with you the letters from insurance carriers declining coverage as of the New Year.

Mark William Darus 11182013

I'd like to thank the following for their kind thoughts and hopes these last two months.
Yvette L (Belgium)

Theda (South Africa)

Marya C (Mexico)

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Been a while...

                     I hope everyone is doing well.
                     I have been working on a few things that, by sheer research alone has taken me away from writing the last month. I am sorry for this.
                     It is my hope that when I have more time to put down my thoughts, I will be able to give them justice.
                     Thank you for your continued reading.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

ObamaCare 2013:(heavy read.)

                                                       ObamaCare: sombody pull the plug with both hands!
                                                                        Mark William Darus

                   I will be offline for a while as I try to digest this healthcare bill. It's a monster.

                                Will write about it as soon as I can.
                                Thanks for your patience!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Should we attack Syria?

                     I am not in favor of attacking Syria at all! What bothers me is that over 50% of the American people are against it and I don't see Congress people listening to their constituents. In fact, I saw on the news one of McCain's constituents making a point and him smirking in her face. I think you make some very valid points. There is no American made pride in much of anything anymore. Sure, cars like Toyota are mostly made here, but where do the majority of the profits go? We have become a fat, lazy, complacent country and the majority of Americans are not being heard. Who will finance this attack? The American public that is over taxed already. Big business does stand to make a profit at the expense of the rest of the people.
I think if we attack, there may be an uprising here. 
-A friend, USA

                   Attacking Syria would make about as much sense as fucking for the sake of virginity. Sorry to say, your country thinks that way. And your people pay these men to think this way, no?
-Johan, Austria.

                  Why doesn't your country just simply end itself by setting its own missiles on its own lands and push the button you hold so proudly over the rest of the world and end its own misery.

                  Sorry how this would affect the Canadians and those in South America. Why is South America called so? Aren't they nations of their own people?
-Tiny Mary, Brazil


                   My country and lands have had many revolutions long before your speck was even created. So what, you killed each other once over a difference of opinion.

                      So proudly you state: "Over 600 Thousands Americans were killed during this war."

                   This is what happens in a revolution.

                   The American Civil war was your first and I hope it will not be your last.

                    Yeah, the Hatfield's and McClain's created such death tolls over generations as Your media gave us such entertainment in other countries. Yeah, trying to one-up centuries of rivalries, Hollywood Stylie and think the world duped? Sorry, your History Channel just made an ass of themselves globally like all the damned Storage/Pawn givings they feed your weakening minded people.

                   Why is America so fascinated with Duck Dynasty and other fudged up programming like American Idol?

Forget pacification drugs in your water and air. You live day in and day out for the lives of others.

I find this disgusting as you disregard your own lives as you watch stupidity.

Doesn't that make you kind of small when you close your eyes at night thinking of those other lives?

You not, at least most of your country, have become stupid and subservient.  You've elevated written bird cage bottoms above your peoples very own lives in importance, sacrifice it and wonder why things happened as they did.

Marc, Thanks.

Look forward to your thoughts after what is left of the internet can share and Skype will provide us.

Your country is so furious! Your politiciations so quick to judge other lands as they push their own children into poverty making the them little more than  the shitty-cloned drones of their parents that had the backbone to at least try to fight as sit back and do nothing and wonder why your country is failing.

your countries  beliefs as they rule all everything.

-Jacoline. South Africa

            Why don't we just launch the missiles and kill everyone?
             Would this not cut all fears the media tosses in our favor showing we are the strongest and the best place to be?

             "C'mon DAVE, you wish me to trash the united states?"

              "Yes, Hal." Some psychopathic Chairman of the (FT LLC Corp) says jovially, recommending to our lands leader invasion is the best way to go. It being for the protection of the Nations best interests.

              Mark, I really don't care who dies or why they died. I said I would achieve a project I proposed to Sam Grant. He sort-of tossed it up the ladder. I had my forces do what must be done to end it.

             I knew damned well I would cause thousands to starve to death as my army took every bit edible stores they had to keep my boys going on as burned, crushed or crippled everything we could

             Yes, Mark. Back when, I was looked at as insane and my bestfriend was looked at as a drunk. I said at the birth of our war of civil nations it would go for years.

              They called me insane.

               They demoted me, sir. Asked me to give them my Sabre. At that point I resigned to so-called Union  Army thought it held with glued fragments

                    I was a disgrace to my beliefs, my country and worse, my wife and children.  I did everything I could in civilian life and failed.

                   But when shit hit shoulder, I was asked to come back to the Northern Army.

                     Bispecktled  midgets giving me orders.


                Yet they held Sam in the rafters. Looking at him as drunk and wayward leader at best.

                He'd lead his men into a battle.

                A hip flask raised to his lips as he shouted.


                  Following his fearless lead, the Men of the Union effort would follow his leadership time and time again, even after defeat.

                  US Grant never retreated, or to say he would acknowledge a defeat by stepping backward

                 I am thankful I was 'the Drunks' best friend.

                Like you don't know this slender tree-lengthen

              Humans have a nature to wish, desire and want to  either kill  or control kill each other. In this they create a reason and a purpose. From this they elevate men to levels creating political hierarchy

             Fuck the colored warning graduated symbols we're given for a threat level by our SO CARING  and  should be looked at as OUR NATIONS MOTHER.

               If our countries defense systems cannot be accurate, Well, whose can be?

              Our Media gives us Threat Levels here in television broadcasts, specialty programming giving ways to not die if we're attacked: Safe-Rooms with space enough, proclaimed by their advertisement, : "the world can crumble around you and you could still have a great (wine) in the company of a special partner."

               I know you got this, Mark.

               But think of what I just wrote. Can any of just scroll up for a second.

               Did the creation of Homeland Security stop the gangs, innocent drive-by deaths as drug deals go bad or gang spaces go sideways across America?

                 Fuck Election in americahh! I have voted every single instance.

                 I was born 14.2.1951

                Voting means SHIT on a national level here!


First off: Thanks for your words. Can I post this on my blog, under a pseudonym of course? I was in Zoar this weekend for a civil war reenactment. Over a few beers and harder things, I asked a group of people what would happen if the USA goes to war with Syria, and the Chinese backing them were forbidden to bring their endless flow of product to our shores via a military blockade?  Most said: "AWE, big deal, fuck 'em!" Then I said we  didn't have to worry about that, really. Many said: "See, told ya so." I then said the latest I had read about China's stance, where they said: "if America invades Syria, we will no longer ship to them and cease all ties!"
I found it amusing how their faces changed like  the colours of falling leaves on a brisk autumn day. Bright, shadowed, muted shades, descending to the ground.
A few said: "yeah, so?"
I took a massive swig of Pepsi and said: "Do you think Levi's are made here anymore? Converse shoes, Hagar, Wrangler, Route 66, Fading Glory (fitting name truly for a jean company that was bought out by the Chinese some 15 years ago and featured at Walmart? Ever look at the spices you have in your home? Garlic salt/powder fine print stating: Product of America and processed in China. We make little to nothing here except debt for the benefit of cheaper/faster consumption.
I wasn't popular after that. I'm such a buzz-kill sometimes.
Heidi, I, as well as my International friends both  with my blog and facebook think an uprising is what we need here. Not a civil war against a part of a nation so much as one against the powers that be. I'm, sorry to say, happy you see this as a possible future for our country.
What was it Thomas Jefferson wrote about a government in question by the people?

""We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."
Maybe he was gifted in more ways than his complete and sincere  ability to write, Heidi.
Heidi: There will, eventually be blood shed. There always  is with us and America. Our taxes pay for the bullets and bombs, and we never vote on wars, do we as a people? Sure, we protest, flood the PaperPlace known as Washington DC, and have stands all across our fifty states and it NEVER makes a difference at all in decisions made.
We've been in the Middle East how long now? How many dead on every side. Soldiers, civilians, children and innocent babies a few hours old?
The Bush family had close ties with the Bin Laden family via the Carlyle Group. Biggest aspect of the Carlyle Group were American Military Industry. How cool is to create an attack, forcing US action against those you view as little more than cattle in your country for the benefit of stock riches? Both families and their friends  gained bucks bigtime when the bodies hit the floor and the roofs went aflame when our country took action over 12 years ago.
And didn't we get the Bin Laden Klan safe passage out of the USA during a No-Fly for non military aircraft period just after 911? And we as citizens paid this for their safety with our tax dollars?
Bell Helicopter survived as the result of the Vietnam War. They were on the verge of bankruptcy.
Halliburton and Lockheed went godlike after 911.
Hal still does.
                Sorry, kids.
                You have a brain. use It .
              I am nothing most of you would know.
                    I am

Friday, September 6, 2013

Invading Syria. Watch the majority of my Country fall like dominos on a set track.

      Syria and The United States: The French, Russians, Chinese: A globe.
                                        How will this affect us all?
                                      by Mark William Darus

                A simple Question: If the US strikes Syria, as the Russians and Chinese back Syria, what do you think will happen?

Okay, perhaps more than one question. Chances are, not simple ones as my mind works things out easily causing others stress whilst I stroll about a free thinking mind.

Imagine a world in the United States where China becomes our opponent. Would we as a Nation learn to produce for ourselves once  again and be proud by this or merely hunker down under Chinese might as they save us dollars via cheaper product for the average American to afford to sustain their families. We have become slaves to other countries, America. Largely from our wanting the cheaper, faster, easier forms of endearments in the physical world. Graciously allowing American companies to send jobs overseas as we were sold it was better for all of us. Malls popping up like zits on a teenager, The last two decades proving this vastly wrong.

Will Walmart, Kmart and Sears have their shelves shrivel into oblivion in a span of days, weeks, months? China being no longer granted access for their ships to mate with United States soil and further experience economic orgasms benefiting them? And if, for the sake of Americans lives, these ships were granted permission to unload product, aren't we as Americans feeding those that oppose our global stance on terrorism? Granted, this would give American Share Holders in psychopathic ventures peace of mind, but what would this mean in holistic thinking?

Living in a global world, having internet friends across the planet, what would the next World War do to everyone in relation to their day to day lives?

I believe we’d experience either internet Black-Outs, huge interruptions of service or threat notions, perhaps looking like this: “you have ’friends” in areas that are NOT in our Nations best interests. Knowing you must be close to them, understanding this deeply, your Country gives you 24 hours to say goodbye to them and no further should you communicate without harsh penalty. ” I think this would be enough for many in country to chop ties, sever things, hurt others that brought them no pain nor harm individually. I guess you could call this the Digital Phase of Interment Camps, like the United States did with Japanese Americans just after Pearl Harbor attack without the loss of property seized and never regained by those Americans of Japanese heritage.

Yet, bravest of people, imagine an underground this could create...

People once again working for the common good, a life where keeping each other healthy and fed and educated was the hallmark of society and not just some piss-poor political afterthought in an attempt to gain 'their' future.

What makes my country, a Manufacturing Weakling nowadays,  the Global Police force? We've got enough bombs to blast Our Blue Marble to what Charlton Hesston saw in the Planet of the Apes.

          Easy: Our richest people get more wealthy with each and every confrontation we embrace.  Why does corporate America and their CEO's sell us out sending jobs to third world countries, chopping us off at the knees? Yeah, Dumb fucking question: Stock Growth is the answer for their actions via higher production value at much lower cost per man hour.  Think about it: In other lands: There is no social security taxes, health care benefits to pay out. Huge companies on this overseas: GM and Chrysler. I would have tossed the American Steel industry into this though I don't think any of these are truly American companies anymore.

Really, how many other stupid questions can I ask?

Watch the further economic failure in the United States of America if we kill thousands of civilians against a people that did NOT attack us. See the fall out that hits our land.

I want peace.

Not going to happen.

Mark William Darus. 09062013

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Touching You Makes Me Die Inside. Touching You Makes Me Feel Alive.


                       Touching You Makes Me Die Inside.
                            Touching You Makes Me Feel Alive.
                                  Moment of applaud to you all. Many thanks.

                                             By Mark William Darus


Record breaking month thanks to you, patient reader.

August 31 had visiting above 330 for a single day.


This month, and I am thoroughly blown away, P:AL was visited 3368 times, smashing the previous record of 2965 in May.

Closing my eyelids gently while bowing head to all of you. My dogs are barking in the background as one, or both of them let their farts fly out, sounding like out of key trumpets.

The smell of shit is profound with my writing. Most fitting really. I often think what I have to say is worthy of paperings at the bottom of a birdcage. Yet, as news papers lay off people, lesser paper product put out, so much Greener this Earth via lost jobs, how much better for the trees as they are not churned to printed word. I must simply be another form of dumping grounds. Perhaps Psychopathy Another Life is a form of a digital Fecal-Farm. Replacing things different of old with solid form in hand to a digital place in mind for you to cast off into the garbage.

Tossing things off is this time in history’s greatest achievement. We do it easily in the highest point in our heightened communication age. Chuck off that does not immediately bring us stimulation most quickly.

Not sure where I play into this.

I am merely a fireplug to piss on.
How cool is that?
Seriously speaking: Urine is the purest for of passing as it's filtered thru kidneys.

I do know I did not reach these records without you, valued reader/contributor.

Many have taken the time to comment here and thousands more have sent me emails. I’ve made a great many friends on Facebook as a result of this blog, most of which are in other countries and different continents. I still have a hard believing that something I thought and took the time write about really mattered to anyone.

It’s been said writers have massive egos yet like to hide in the distant shadows away from everyone as they observe and take in all around them. I’m not sure this true at all. I don’t believe I have hidden anything on this blog. I’m quite the vampire in most respects. I keep myself open to all, welcoming the absurd and loving the insane in all aspects of life. Appreciating the light and splendor of the daytime world I seldom see these days given my work hours, cherishing the sights, sounds and smells of the night time world I’m vastly more awake in.

I can’t really say why I am like that, but I must confess I am more comfortable with myself over the last year and half than I have known in my 51 years here. It’s been said millions of times: from bumper stickers, posters and t-shirts (and what does the ‘t’ in t-shirts stand for?) : When you find yourself, never go back!

When I did find myself, I smiled and began to run. I look backward now and again as a source of reinforcement/reference. Sure, I did have to learn walking all over again in this new life. It was nearly scary at first. I had no clue how I’d be received by those that have known me over the years. Granted, Those in that number didn’t total many in all seriousness by most peoples thoughts of friends and family. Tossing out their first names based on duration of them knowing me: Holly, Heidi, Dave-R (and family down the road), Dave-T (and family down the road) , Rachel, Rebecca, Michelle T-K (and kids), Gretchen (plus kids). These are those people that have known me in the physical world for over 10 years. Sadly, I have strained most of these people at many points over time and hugely so in the last 1.5-2 years span.

Of the above mentioned: At no time did any of us ever meet at a bar after work to SHIT-CHAT about anything over drinks. I seriously cannot remember meeting anyone at a bar in the last 18 years except some messed up PyroBabe that, when smoking was still legal in restaurants, set a straw wrapper on fire in an ashtray, followed by a paper napkin leading to the fucking table cloth while saying in a highly sexy tone: “Pre--TEE! Isn‘t it? Warm. So nice!” Glad I knew the manager there then. Asking you a question sincerely: Have you ever tasted fire extinguisher chemicals mixed with creamed and sugar filled dark roast coffee? I did. Frankly, for over an hour after this encounter, I belched my brains out!

We’d simply share thoughts and opinions in the organic realm. Words spoken, causing mental firings in others around. Truly sweet vocal/cerebral embracing’s at restaurants, backyards or emergency rooms.

On in a great families basement.

The names in that list somehow, still like me around in their lives. I’m grateful for this. I'd be a miniscule speck in the Physical World I know to be as I casted off so many others over the decades.  They are loyal beyond compare. I’m not sure what I did to deserve their them as friends and family.  I’ve hurt most, if not all of them over the years/decades.  In ways  none of them even knew nor took into them by me somehow neglecting them as I did it. this nonetheless. I'd give explanations that make sense to them, yet they always knew things about me.

"This is just Mark. He's different."  a few would describe in their truth of me.

I have never been a believer in plastic friends in my life. Most people develop cast-off-able people in their lives, usually via our spin in the ever changing economic work world. Making connections as quickly as contact likely via-esque as simply as keystrokes on a computer, except at a work place. Maybe a deep desire for attention, a deeper want for acknowledgement and wishing to belong somewhere or perhaps less profound: Just wishing to feel alive in the reflection in another’s eyes.

More often than not, the workplace isn’t the best environment to make lasting friendships. Keep in mind: I have a total of 4 best friends in 51 years of living. Friends, as most would refer to them: I have none. I’m okay with that. I am perhaps not the best source for insight to gather friends. I have little clue why those without blood-ties still wish to have me with them.

I love photography. I am continuously lucky as I catch things that people like. I have no idea what propels me in this. Perhaps I am merely a child, a tiny one in fact that merely is trying to say: Hey, look what I can do?

I go toward to darkest things imaginable in human nature. I am delighted by and attracted to this much like a moth to a brilliant flame on a foggy cricket chirping night when it comes to my writing.

When I sit before my Tower, I don’t truly know what my mind will have me write about, share via others encounters, or just simply get caught in my head until I let it out with written word.

Unlike photography, which is the counter balance in my life, I more often than not, hate my ability to write.


Don’t get me wrong, please.

I am happy to write, yet at the same time there is a tugging in both the soul and some aspect within myself I can’t quite put my finger on. With each paragraph placed to MOTHER INTERNET, many times taking hours to create, I think endlessly toward the next one.



Unencumbered passion releasing itself?

I have no clue. I just do as I do and photograph and write as I do.

I will not stop until I die. When that happens, I hope another runs on!

I’m not alone in this world, though isolated physically in my vampire life hours, I continually search about for a mental partner like myself.

I often share with others how I believe Time is moving faster these days. Even Work-life hours/days/weeks/months seem to be screaming past at the speed of light. I so often have to ask others what day it is.

Well, I’ve been long winded enough.


Closing credits: Last 30 days of Psychopathy: Another Life.

Thanks to the people of these proud lands that took the time to read me: Czech Republic, China, Korea, France, UK, Russia, Brazil, Spain, Mexico, South Africa, Malta, Ukraine, Canada, Sweden, Iceland, Germany, Belgium, Afghanistan, Serbia, Portugal, Thailand, Kenya, Norway, Syria, Greenland, Latvia, Costa Rica, Finland, Belize, Rwanda, Greece, Nepal, Australia, Italy, Hungary, Libya, Japan, Taiwan, Lebanon, Trinidad and Tobago, Slovakia, Denmark, Cambodia, Bangladesh, Fiji, Jordan, Laos, New Zealand, Israel, Croatia, Saint Helena, Honduras, Romania, Taiwan, Liberia, Kyrgyzstan, Cape Verde, Barbados, and my friends in what’s left in the once proud UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.


Music and other important credits: >>>Please look these artists/bands up as their music kept me company as I wrote and write. <<<<


Band title followed by my liking them and why.

The Birthday Massacre: Some 6 years ago my youngest daughter got me hooked on them on the way to her schools band concert. Been hooked since then ever since. Great meaning expressed with amazing vocals and eclipsing music. A totally Original band in all respects.


Michael Card. Song with meaning to me: Jesus Loves Me. A song that more often than not cleansed my soul after hours working at Progressive Insurance. Appoligizing for things I had no control over again and again. Making any sincere sense of the words : I AM SORRY, mean anything. This song gave me a catch point in my life and still does.


Dan Fogelberg: A Love Like This. Brought writing down to levels less intense. Nice.


Procol Harum: Whiter Shade of Pale. This song always fired me up.

M83: Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming. Possibly the best CD I have heard in years from start to finish. Fantastic music and inspiring videos make this band in my life. Every track on this CD is a trip to somewhere outside us, yet bringing us closer to our nature.

I have to give a shout out to Writer, director, documentatian Ken Burns for his great works on the American Civil War, Americas National Park System, Frank Lloyd Wright and a host of others. Ken Burns: You fueled a fire in me. You gave me the strength to put yourself out there. Thank you so very much.

To those that shared sending me emails the last 31 days: Massive Thanks!

Marya, Tabitha, Chelsea, Anabelle, Katy, Inga, Geoffrey, Zitu, Jasmine, Audrey, Yvette, Casey, Queen Bitch of New York, Peter B L, Trisha J, Anthony I, Danielle, DanI, Catherine H, David H, David C, David K, Prince, Jose, Phillip, Jessica, Rachel D, Rachel D II, Cassandra Z, Cassandra L, Cassandra T, Alexandria Ignatius, Alexandria N, Alexandria W, Alexandria G, Jacob Francis M, Bringer of Doom, Beth Anne Hendrix, Theda, Susan J, Suzanne S, John X, Emily, Evan, Marcus, Richard L, Erik, Johan, Winnie in Poo, Gretchen P, Gretchen H, Gretchen K, Barb A, BARB L, YURI r, AND A HOST OF OTHERS!


I guess I should profoundly thank humanity itself.

Such incredible animals are we to possess so much destructive and killing capabilities and yet see beauty and sometimes help an elderly person cross a busy roadway.

As I go onward, I will I never lose my ability, my gift so-to-speak, to express myself openly, freely, to give of my thoughts to others with no worry or backlash of those that could hit my future. I simply don’t care if I get hurt.

Final thanks to Google Blogger for giving me this opportunity. I could not have done this without you!

Open your mouth and express your beliefs, your peace.

Mark William Darus 09012013

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

16 Year Old. Emergency Room and Other Things. Part one.

              16 year old kid in an Emergency Room: Phenol Acidosis.
                                               Part 1
                               By Mark William Darus.


Disturbed from sound sleep as my phone rang out at

2:46 PM yesterday and eventually hearing the “BEEP-BEEP-BEEP” of a message left. Checking the Sender: RESTRICTED displayed, so I disregarded it thinking yet another collection coming to catch me.

I attempted to drift back to a dream disturbed about my saving Milla Jovovich from the undead and her being extremely grateful for my success. Yeah, sort of hooked on the Resident Evil movie series, seen all five films and love them and apparently they’ve crept into my personal mind-movies, IE, dreams.

My dogs began to bark wildly, I heard of shots outside the house, presumably small arms, and I said: “SHIT! Guess I’m up early.”

Letting the dogs outside, I called my battered phones voice mail.

A friend I’ll call Tarriza voice sounded panicked and urgent. Her tone ran the gambit of emotional display. Trying to be calm and clear, yet losing the battle in the end as her lips must’ve curled downward, mind trying to express, finding a cut-off.

Quickly calling the dogs back inside while I heard…

“Mark, my child’s in the hospital. I got a call from her school, took her to the ER when their infirmaries diagnostics didn’t run high enough on her blood sugar readings…” a female voice raced on to the point the English language turned to word-soup and complete gibberish. “I-I, I’m not sure. She’s, we’re, not sure. They think Phenol Acidosis, readings at 660, andidon’tknowwhatto makeof this.”

Frankly, the only time in my life I ever dressed faster and left a place was when I was about 16 years of age and lost my virginity. Her father had come home from work sick, we heard his keys at the door and leapt from a window smiling and naked, clothes soon following behind me.

I left my house with a sense of profound urgency after tossing my camera bag over my shoulder. I never leave home without it, you know. My camera is my weapon, after all. How else can one fight so many that find our world so ugly and disgusting and shove in their faces a beauty their eyes fail to see mostly by sincere lack of choice on their part?



I close my gate behind me, enter my Trailblazer and head to ‘The Morning Store’. I will always call this place on West fourteenth street this as for over 20 years I got coffee there suffering the work of day shifters.

“Hey, Mark! How’s it going?” Mike says happily as like he has each and every day for the years he’s he’d worked there.

“Doing good, man! Heading to the Hospital to see someone and her kid in the ER, then heading to work,” I said flatly, yet jovially in return.

“We might be runnin’ low, man,” he said, and adding to a customer, “No ma’am, I told you before we do not accept blow jobs for bottles of MD20/20. Not sure who told you we did, but we don’t. Sorry.”

Chuckling aloud, I said, “I got ya back, brother!” after putting a quarter cup of ice in my 13 year old Goshen Dairy coffee cup with a British Petroleum Green lid. Killing the mega urn, I added some half and half and goo-gobs of sugar to my ‘three jobs old cup’ as I removed the huge filter container, emptying it’s spent contents and walked to the deli counter to gather up and place a new mound of grounds into it.

Conversation hitting me from areas around me.

“Daddy, can I have a strawberry Icee?” the voice of young girl excitedly asks.

“Shit, bitch! I told ya I’d be home when I get home!” a man speaks into a tiny little Star Trek like communicator. Agitated like a washing machine way too imbalanced, he adds, “I’m gonna beat you into place if ya ain’t careful!”

“Please, for the last time! No BLOWJOBS FOR WINE! Okay,” Mikes pleading voice falls on the deaf ears of a woman wearing a Winger concert T-shirt, cut-off jeans, sporting seriously trashed hair going from spiked hues of blond, blue, pink to outright mange on her left side as feral strands of brunette locks were much longer, though choppy. Curious about her, , I set the filter holder down by its wanting mate and stepped toward this woman. I had to get closer to her, perhaps my predators instinct taking over my senses as this woman was so obviously vulnerable. Call it what you will: I had to smell her. Close proximity to her would give me her sense of desire, addiction, depression, her depth of need to maintain an even-flow in her being.

My Verizon chirping like mad again, distracting me like Jack the Ripper in a field of Stepford Wives, cleaving a moment in two.

Bringing me back to things more important.

Getting my coffee being first and foremost. Let’s be serious for a moment: How many of us don’t need to satisfy our fixes before beginning anything in earnest? Leveling out as we enter our days with presumed clear thinking, we have a ritual we must follow less all entire days attempts fail and shoot sideways.

A woman babbling about wine and BJ’s drones on as I do a Disco Bump from my hip to hers sending her sideways. Rip-offs of Calvin Kleins Obsession, Jen Anistons fragrance mixed with body funk and sweat met my nostrils as well as a weak electrical taste (like that of the oil, steel and voltage smell of a Dodgem car amusement ride coursing across my tongue. “Here’s my 1.50, Mike. Want me to call the cops on her?”




“Nah, it’s cool. She just split.” Taking my cash, he added; “ Godspeed at the Hospital, Brother!”


Firing up my engine, taking sip of my days equalizer, setting mug down and raising an L&M to lip with my right as my left lights my blue BIC. Inhaling deeply as flame and tobacco meet gloriously, filling lungs with bad things unhealthy. Taking another swig coffee as I exhale.

Firm ground.

Standing now yet sitting.


Hospital time down the road of a bright new day of life.


Driving down West Fourteenth street toward the roundabout, getting stopped at two red lights, I glanced to the drivers beside me. A man appeared to be arguing with someone on a cell, his right hand holding a phone to her ear solidly pressed while his left thrashed about wildly, sometimes beating on the steering wheel of his Black Range Rover, while a weary eyes brunette mother dazedly stared forward as her precious cargo of three small youths seemed to raging on.

In The Parking Lot of Desperate Hope: Cleveland Metro General Hospital, Scranton Road, Cleveland Ohio, 44109. USA

I pull my vehicle into its multileveled domain. Taking a ticket from an object thinking, don’t we all wish to bash to pieces with many hits from a Louisville Slugger for the sheer desire to simply do so freely? Knowing this jungle land too well, I find a spot not near anyone. Most around this land don’t carry insurance. Call me cautious, I was in the Evil Insurance Industry for over ten years. I know too well how those predators work.

Exiting to concrete after disabling my Motorola Motonav GPS and its BlueTooth, I take several steps and suck in surroundings.

There is an ambulances siren screaming nearby as a LifeFlight Helicopter’s blades pierce the sky above.

A lady I can only see as shadow in the garage talks about Jeremy’s excruciating anal fissures as another speaks about the latest Android to come out in a few months and how if Annie doesn’t die, she’ll have to have it!

Leaving the garage and heading toward Scranton Rd I pass people in various states of existence, flesh hanging draped loosely over bone, eyes receding deep into their sockets. Some asking for smokes, others speaking like Muhammad Alles (sp?) last interview incomprehensible as they shuffle about like zombies in a here and now.

Walking up to Metro ER’s SERIOUSLY HEAVY BULLET PROOF, DAMN NEAR NUKE PROOF, yet worthless against water as it’s flooded a few times over the last four years after a heavy rain. Yeah! Who doesn’t like the power of Nature?


“C…. h=p “ an utterly garbled voice over poor speaker attempts to ask me.

“I guess. Do you have a Maddie Greene here?” I inquire, leaning toward a stainless steel mouthpiece that has probably had every disease known to mankind spit into it in the last six hours, probably only washed about every 3 days.

“y-h, ic-op, frm- >ZZZZZ< 6.” the third worlds version of communication states in Cleveland Ohio, USA.

“Could you please repeat that? Ya broke up. A lot.” Sickly, recognizing things as they are, I smile inside.

“ic-nnnn-op, <ZZZZ> erk-NA! 6”

Coldly, raising my voice enough to alert the security people in the place, I simply say: “Hey, pisspoor DJ wanting to be a DR, could you please move closer to the microphone so I can hear you clearly.” Noticing the Rent-a-Cops behind him, behind even thicker glass, beginning to stir and eventually stand.

“Yes, She’s in room 26. Follow the black after I open the door.”

“Cool down, CPD rejects, “ I said looking at the wanna be cops. Looking at the guy behind the first line of glass, I quipped to him, “Was it really so hard to bend over instead of merely thinking yourself as a Greyhound Dispatcher to the drugged and fucked up?”


Door ‘A’ opens and I stroll underneath it’s threshold. I got that Black Line down with my left eye as my right eye, ears, nose and other insights catch things around me.

This first leading corridor crosses me before this ER’s four Intake Windows.

Truly speaking thru door “A”, a wonderland of things to be heard via gunshot wounds, lawn machine mishaps, “didn’t know the gun was loaded,” and “I thought is was just syphilis. But….”

The nasal capturing scents of this avenue reach me. Rubbing alcohol, floor polish carrying with the taint of fresh dripping blood and its iron memory that crashes into my memory from long ago.


Amused and passing, taking in and recording every moment in time, I pass the Nurses Station.

Also enlightening.

“Room 0115, serious DSB.”

“How so?”

“I held a stick of zilch and he stole it from me thinking it morphine.”


“popped that sucker into his neck and got glazed..”

“Okay, bump him to 13 psych.”

“Christ, I pulled a live gerbil from her vag-cav.”

“Nice, still alive?”

“The patient or the gerbil?”

“The gerbil! Christ, what a sad journey that little one went thru!”

“Yeah, it’s alive.”

“nice. My kids want a pet. Keep it and run a screen on it, okay?

“You got it. Buy me a coffee?

“No doubt! Such a splendid traveler deserves better,”

“The patient is fine.”

“Good, Can’t wait for her to return with a Blue Herrin shoved up there.”

A moment of silence passes between the with my footfalls.

“I don’t like birds, okay….”

Without aide, I arrive at room 26. Glass wall leading dusty blinds behind it, reaching its doorway.

I enter it.

Seeing a 16 year old on a ER bed,

End of part one.

I am sorry and out of time as I need to sleep for work in 8 hours.

Mark William Darus 08282013

Monday, August 26, 2013

Proteins and Drugs. Why not?

                                 Excessive amounts of Proteins.
                                         Drugs legal and not.
                                                   A journey.

                              How this affects the minds travels.


                                                 GO ASK ALICE.
                                         by Mark William Darus



I was in my late twenties when I saw my father get wasted as a result of a protein imbalance as his liver was failing and he was dying as a result of this.

I witnessed my father over my lifetime then sucking in maybe 20 beers before my eyes.

From what my sisters say, Mom was the drunk and not dad. She, knocking down bottles of booze each and every day to offset the national debt.

Dad, got a bad transfusion that gave him hepatitis, which totally fucks the liver and makes it vulnerable to all. He died eventually, and it took much longer than moms 3 month death sentence within a tiny range of my second daughters birth.


My father and his Dr taught me an area of thinking. Excessive intact of proteins will get you high. Funny, steak, peanut butter in a pound or better for most is enough to make them high.


Peanut skins when smoked after eating the nuts will also get you out there. You have to eat one pound of nuts before smoking. Imagine you butt tract your next day. Yeah, this is a one time only for you.

I witnessed my father taking rides on Prince Valium time and time again. Legally so.

My sisters said mom was a drunk.

Apparently while dad rode the Valium Stallion.

Not relevant in the here and now.

Not to me at any rate.


I did heroin twice to attempt to feel something.

Anything at all human emotional.

I experienced two massive monumental body orgasms. Nothing like I had ever felt with any woman I had ever penetrated achieving same with them. This failed when I defecated in my shorts and me realizing this the next day waking with shorts filled with my shit pressed and smelly against me. Twice was enough for that one! I can't believe people get hooked on Heroin...


Apparently, by the 60 yr old males I work with there is plethora for me to experience. At lunch one night they tossed drug names I'd never heard of. This surprised me.

As far as LSD, I’m waiting to my retirement to drop this.



If I drop acid then the worst case scenario would be people looking at this as ALZ.



Take your drugs wisely and know why you are trying them.

I will take VicaMints within the next two weeks. Why? I have no clear answer except Demerols one time was a bad trip, 2 decades ago. Seriously so. The hang-over effect from Demerol's  was KILLER! I thought my brain was getting split in two. After doing some research, years later, I realized why: I was given a dose, via someone close. They had a few from their mother who weighed in at 300 lbs. I, at that time, weighed in at about 139 lbs.

Be careful...

Mark William Darus 08262013

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Take a resignation or see 3 others get fired in your place. Psychopathic?

                           My Sacrifice. Welcome to the New World.

                               By Mark William Darus.


So, you arrive at work and get asked to attend a meeting by your boss with the higher ups in the company within a minute of you clocking in. You, living in day-to-day mode, you react with this curve ball tossed at you. You nod to your boss, they acknowledge.

The smells of coffee brewing hits your nose different this day walking past cubicles changing over time from changing venues as your company traveled toward cheaper rent.

Your eyes seem to capture each and every step your footfalls connect with familiar carpet.

You feel yourself on autopilot and as if walking in some dream.

Trying to gain your bearings as you were headed off before you could even place your meager lunch into the tiny break room fridge. Daily balance impeded. Headed off at the pass.


“Hey, Emily! How ya doing?” a coworker asks her with a Friday face, full smiling.

Emily fakes a smile to Phoebe frightened by her boss abrupt approach. “Not sure, hon. Will let ya know/”

Phoebe glances to Emily’s back, seeing lay-offs arising in her company, wondering what Emily knows.

Mind shredding backward over beyond 15 years memories with this company taking far and beyond a third of that time in her life with overtime and non paid wishing to produce sincerely. As a Manager here, wondering how far out of the loop was she.


3 minutes before she knew her meeting would be tardy before her manager. Apprehensively checking her cell phone for calls or text messages missed by her and find none.

Placing a lunch into a fridge she’d not see hours much later. Doing so, Emily’s mind taking shit in causing her to take a step outside herself. She thought of her god, her husband, children. Her mind thinking of other areas as her lack of cash flow would affect her gardens and plants.


“Damn,Emily, what do you think of the downturn?” Serinia asks plainly with excited tone.

2 minutes.

I’m going to get fired. Damn instincts anyway! Emily thinks as her mind tosses things about.

1 minute before the meeting.

Emily walks to a bathroom. Pulling down tight fitting pants, she bends down on a self-cleansed seat to relieve herself. Urine passes freely, she sighs vocally, and dots place themselves on her panties from droplets.


T-Minus 9 seconds and counting.

Emily strolled into the meeting knowing she was going to get an axe placed in her head.


“Nice to see, Emily,” her companies president said to her. “Please take a seat and bagel and coffee, “ he said jovialy with the plastic of smiles hiding eyes behind dark glasses.


Emily sits, thanking for the offerings and declining them with a tone strong and confident. She brought her own Krusty Kreem glazed donut and her own cup of java.


“we have a situation you can perhaps be willing to help us with, Emily,” the company president Wesker, says freely, excitedly and coldly.

Emily asks: “What is this, sir?”

“well, we have to cut the budget you understand. We told our stock holders we’d have an 8.79 growth this year and we only hit 8.75. We have to cut on the back end to reach that profit margain. I’m sure you’ll understand.”

Taking a bite into a glazed donut and swallowing it with a huge gulp of coffee, Emily;s mind ran.

“What do wish of me?” tossing it all out there.


“Emily, your place in this companies history has made great things occur. Through your tutiledge, inspiration and sheer energy we’re wishing to give you a great option.” Wesker added with tone so sickly sacharin.

“ You’re going to fire me, right?!”


“my dear, no! We don’t wish to terminate you. We merely are asking you to cut three subordinates jobs for you to keep your placement with us.”


Emilies mental screen goes blank.



Taking ground before her.


Her eyes wide open.



“Fuck you, no=thanks, ass” Emily said, never raising her voice, adding: “Fire me! I will not give up others up to keep me to save my own tail!"

Smirking lips set with an all-too confident cock to his head,  eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses he never removed.  Wesker tells her, "Very well, dearest. You WILL resign or we will smear your reputation. Amazing what CGI can do to a persons marriage."




She looks at the board, smiles and tells them an extremely simple point of life.


“DO YOU NOT THINK WE KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILDREN AND GRAND CHILDREN GO TO SCHOOL? Know the stretches you try to hide and as you fuck others you and try to hide from them your spouses. "


                   Emily stops for a moment


As a woman told her bossess “fuck you, you won’t fire me and I won't let you fire others in my name."


Want to play games.

As they cut her from a board within 12 hours 5 children, 8 grand kids and about 8 mistresses went missing.



Emily said: welcome to my world.

Welcome to the New World.




Mark William darus 08242013