Friday, June 28, 2013

Seeing and catching: Wanting going backward in time.

                     Seeing and catching: Wanting going backward in time.      
                               My wishes for the Gettyburg PA, USA trip.
                                             by Mark William Darus
                                        Part of a letter sent to several.

 I hope you can use what I will be taking as a teaching tool as you are a history teacher.


I'm heading to Gettysburg next week for the 150th anniversary. I will be camping there on the 1st thru 3rd. You being a history teacher: Is there anything you would like me to shoot while I am there?


(I plan on heavy shooting on the 2nd from Little Round Top <Chamberlain of the 20th Maine looking down as well as the Souths futile attempt to take that high ground.> I plan on shooting from Devils Den as well. Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain, as well as Robert E. Lee, was my greatest hero of our Amerikan  Civil War. His sheer audacity and leadership saved the day. I am getting goosebumps writing this: Heidi: I will be on the same ground, same place one hundred and fifty years later at the same time! HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT? I can't wait to photo it as my mind wanders to areas of what it must have been like for both sides during this battle.


My higher power/god, just think about it: Chamberlains men, out of ammo as the South keeps trying, bloody attempt after another to take the hill. Chamberlain gathers his officers together, coldly gives them orders on how to do a Closing Door maneuver and crush the Southern attempts. His officers look at him as if insane as he states, 'we're out of ammunition, what else can we do?' He then screams in desparation: "FIX BAYONETS!"


Imagine being a southern soldier, fighting for air as you climb the same hill for the third, perhaps fifth time after being repulsed  and see several hundred men coming at you with bayonets aimed straight at you.


Fight or flight?


At that point, undoubtedly due to exhaustion, gave up on the South on the 2nd day of this battle. Keep in mind: The temps were in the 90's, humidity very high. They wore wool uniforms and clothing underneath it. Their body temps had to be near heatstroke. These were men 150 years ago that body-proud humans of today would have a hard meagerly mirroring for a single hour before keeling over.


I wish to shoot from Buford's view on day one of the conflict. He knew he couldn't hold this ground, advised his officers of this and they followed him nonetheless. He was horrifically under-manned. (ironically speaking: The South usually were the same in the first two years of this war, and they won battle after battle.) I want to photo the Souths angle going toward Buford in an attempt to see how they took Day One.


Day Three? I plan on photographing from the South Artillery placement, General James Longstreet order, via Robert E. Lee, to have General Pickets army as they left the relative safety of the wooded area to the North's cutting them to bits with cannon, muskets and canister fire in a field of over a mile in both length and width.


I also plan on getting Culps Hill, pEACH oRCHERD, (sorry about the Capslock shit) and Wheatfield.


What, as a teacher of history, would you like me to catch? Let me know before Saturday June 29th 2013. You may think yourself not a teacher of such, yet you truly are.  


I so cannot wait for this chance! My cameras batteries at the ready, memory cards giving me over 2200 shots to take in the three days. My mind, well? I may not be like most of you, but so help me, I will make my words empathetic as I write about this walk into history and those affected as my thoughts catch glimpses of things. Be them glimmers of an onlooker and their thoughts to thinking of what it must have been like for those that fought the 3 days. I wish to be taken into the mind of a child that has fled his parents security to see this fighting first hand and the brutality of mankind. I wish to find myself looking down on it from the eyes of a bird, perhaps and Eagle, and wonder why. Think of the viewpoint of the civilian men and woman that buried the thousands upon thousands of dead that were never really written about.


      You all know I am  NOT NORMAL nor traditional in any respect. I hope to create something this trip better than any other thing I have ever done on this earth. With photos and writings based on inspiration alone, make something historically meaningful for my readers on the blog, facebook friends and anyone else that happens to wander in for whatever reason.


       On the other hand, maybe I am doing this selfishly. Maybe I just wish to 'feel' something, anything not sexuality related once again as I did many, many decades ago. I'm blind walking a desert on this plain with myself. Granted, I am comfortable with this place, yet I wonder if there isn't something more. I hear others exclaim to the wonders of love and happiness, to later hear them talk words of hate and wanting pain for those they spoke of love about within three months to 15 years of separation or divorcing them from their lives.


        Granted, being human, each situation for separation is unique, though I'd argue this as, for the most part, the song remains the same on most occasions. Allow me to say this though: You have to feel hurt when a loved one goes sideways on you, departs themselves from you, basically looks at you and says: I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY LIFE ANY FURTHER.  Been there, it sucked to some extent.


        Sorry for my ramblings, I do so go that way though, don't I?


        The 1st thru 3rd of July 2013 will be my greatest challenge to date with photography and writing ability. I cannot wait to walk and talk with strangers for their input around Gettysburg PA, USA as they view its sights and its things as it may take them elsewhere.


        I may be damned for my myriad of sins, but I am blessed as well. I this awesome!


        Mark William Darus, your brother, comrade, lover, writing, fly on the wall, and friend. You all rock in my mind!
Mark William Darus 06282013