Tuesday, February 25, 2014
by Mark William Darus.
Rachel is my eldest daughter.
She is ferocious, can be exceptionally evil and blood thirsty. Incredibly vengeful, having a killers instinct and an uncanny ability to manipulate almost anyone around her.
That being said, I must add this.
She has perhaps the most open and accepting hearts of anyone I have ever known. Willing to help anyone in need at any time to a fault. She may have gotten this from me either thru genetics, or simple time spent with me.
She may also have received her worst traits from me, possibly more from genetics than anything else.
Since she moved away from me, she has matured a great deal. She struggles, yet no different than any of us when it comes to paying things and simply having coin to do so.
While I was driving home home from work this morning at about 3AM, thoughts of Rachel flared into my head in the form of musical notes, images, phrases, notions...
Safe in my yard, I opened a New Belgium Rampant IPA (india pale ale) and thrashed out this song for my daughter, Rachel, AKA, CRASH. Using my neighbors, Dave t's (((thanks, Dave!))), wifi connection, I was able to upload this.
I think this fits my eldest daughter.
If I were in the last tossings of living, i can think of no one better to care for me than you, Rachel. You can maintain an emotionless detachment to get things done and do it without the patient feeling dignity lost on their part as you'd wipe away shit covered bed and flesh to get it done.
Rachel, you have the rarest of gifts, and yes, it will haunt you til your dying day. i know this from experiences I had hoped you wouldn't know, yet like me, you never give up on any soul God brings us. no matter their condition or the harm it will bring to us.
You have empathy to the max. This will, more often than not, make you a target for others.
Yeah, like that advice could change you anymore than it had am impact on me...
Seeing Gretchen take care of her mom day in and day out, made me know you would/could handle the same with incredible dignity and grace if you had to take care of me while dying, shitting myself, urinating on you as my father dying pissed on me while eating imaginary pork chops as he sang, albeit poorly, the song Paint your Wagons.
I Narc'd on you to the cops a while ago...
You've done great since then...
I am proud of you, Rachel.
Mark William Darus 02252014