Balance.

                                      As a writer of such dark human elements.
                                                There must be beauty.

                     I have often found it with their voices and smiles. Amazingly graceful, uplifting and inspirational.


                                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LveS3tx-6cQ&NR=1&feature=endscreen

MWD04292013
find some peace in your life...

As you see me naked.

                                        As you see me naked.
                                                 I am lethal.
                       The thoughts of Sylvia B. by Mark William Darus

I have no fear taking off my coverings before you. You paid me to do this.

Cash from your pocket flowing like water from a blown pipe, wanting more of me, expecting more of me. Allowing yourself to fall victim as you think yourself the predator.

In slender moments shared, your eyes become flaming beacons toward me, beaming energy, fueling me.

Removing my tank, slowly lifting it over my breasts, you shift your posture uneasily. I watch you as I get hungry.

Painfully slow, I lower my knee length flowered skirt before you. Revealing my shapely thighs and grey panties, I hear your breathing increase. Deeper and deeper you inhale as your chest bulges, your pupils widen to take me further into you mind. Into a fantasy you’ve held most dear, perhaps forever so.

I begin to think of my childhood every once in a while at this point of an encounter.

I remember my father. He was a good man taken way too soon. He was 43 when he died of cancer. He’d make me laugh, cheer me on when I failed at something, show me love.

Then there was mom. Christ, what a bitch she was! She’d probably still be if she hadn’t suffered an unfortunate accident when I was 17. She was in her car when it happened, parked in our driveway in a suburb of Chicago. Her cars electrical system freaked out and sparked a fire. Somehow, her door handles failed as did her power windows. It’s truly amazing how much smoke fast food bags can produce when they pile up in a foot well! Dense smoke quickly filled the cars interior and she died, pleasingly slow as I witnessed it outside the car. Her eyes, panic filled. Mine, smiling as she passed.

Bummer.

About a year after dad died, she dated men that like an old Donna Summer song :loved to love you, baby…

They’d party, she’d drink to get numb and instead of fucking her when she passed out, they’d go after me. I, about 13 then, tried to fight them off, but she loved bad ass biker types who bested me by sheer weight alone. Over powered, they’d thrust their dicks at me any way they could in any hole of mine they could easily get at. The smell of whiskey or bourbon from their mouths as they smash their face into mine, the smell of my mothers Calvin Kleins Obession on their necks and chests. Sweat, salt, semen and the disgusting rank fumes of dense foot odor surrounding me while pinned to whatever, where ever they chose to take me. Thrust after thrust they’d go. My vagina, torn, anus bleeding or sore throat from deeping it. Pain, both physically and mentally.

Anguish.

I remember crying and reporting it for a while and it got me nowhere. I didn’t dress or act like the other kids at school and was often looked at as ‘different’. I was a subdivision at school: I didn’t really fit in anywhere into the mainstream.

I unhook my deep purple bra from the front. You seem to make a ‘gulping’ sound when I do this. So expected, you never disappoint me.

“Get undressed, baby, get ready for me!” I’d give my best airy Amy Grant voice. Like Lemmings, they’d always do as told, happily walk right off the cliff without rational thought.

“Yeah, you look so good, baby! I can’t wait to take you into me!”

I’d drop my panties like a bad habit and stand before you.

“I want you so much!” You stand and walk to me, boner bouncing around, it’s head looking like some tiny albino Darth Vader helmet.

I, sucking in their energy, desire, single-minded drive, smile and say: “baby, want to strap on a rubber?”

Surprising how many of say: “nah, it kills the feeling.”

“Kills the feeling, right, baby. You got it! TAKE ME! ANYWAY YOU WANT IT!” I loved the band Journey.

Kills the feeling. So right you men are. Moms men never covered up. One of them gave me a gift.

Glad you got your ‘feeling’ as I infected you with AIDS!

I’m sure you’ll die faster than I have.

You guys can be so stupid, can’t you?

-Sylvia’s thoughts, my words.

-Mark William Darus 04292013

Authors note: Her name is not Sylvia B. I respect those that wish to remain anonymous. Yet it needed a name, so she agreed to the one I chose. Talking to her was little short of amazing. She was frank with her words, speaking with complete candor while gently describing some fairly horrific events in her life. 

As I wrote this out, a single song played with each word typed. Over and over again I played it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD6RdI1QqCg


We sucked down gallons of coffee as we sat at a Denny’s on the Ohio border town of Findlay. I will, at her request, describe her in generic terms. (yeah, like that’s going to be easy for me, right?) She stood about 5’4”, perhaps 110 lbs, light brown just over shoulder length hair. A tragically pretty face with huge glowing blue eyes surrounded by pure white sclera’s. I say tragically because her face looks so innocent and undamaged. She carries herself with what 63% of the male population would describe as a knock-out, kick-ass, oh-so-fuckable body. ( I personally believe the other 37% of men, homosexuals, either overt or covert, may still be attracted by the confidence in her stride and stance. She dressed for our meeting in blue t-shirt and nice fitting jeans with a wide leather belt. No jewelry. I could be wrong on this though. Judging by the waitress, female, she also attracts women.

At her request, we sat in the farthest end of the Denny’s. This was calculated by her and I soon discovered why. At 4:30 AM in the morning, very few complain when someone lights up a Salem 100 and splashes their ashes into an unused water glass. Seriously, how can you not love Denny’s Restaurants? I lit up my L&M and toked in to meet her.

“Trust me, they won’t pitch us aside.” her cool voice stated. More often than not, the workers would do as a Styx song and light up.

I wish to thank her for her honesty and sharing her hearts desire: To give a type of man in this world exactly what they want.

Chechnya: Are you the next Taliban? Sounds like home to me in the USA.

                                 Okay, the Boston Marathon bombing sucked. Seriously, what a way to end a race? Cross a finish line and watch others get nailed by shrapnel as a bombs go off.

                      Yep, that would bug my day a bit as few things do as hunks of plastic, bb's and recently heated metal fly into my friends limbs, severing veins, muscle, killing sight hitting their retinas...

                   Clouds of white puffs ascend as panic takes dominance. People bolt and run wildly. Running into one another without care.

                  There is blood and death in the field of vision.

                  

                   Crying, hysteria, faces a few seconds ago showing happiness now going toward pained expressions of sorrow, horror and complete terror.

                    Whiffs of lagers, ales and sausage vendors mixing with the scent of total human panic fill the street.

                       And when  silence eventually  becomes victorious, whom do we blame?

                       A factory in Texas blows to pieces, over a hundred missing from an ammonium-nitrate mishap. There is speculation of a dark coloured van near the area just before the explosion.

                       There were four people found dead about 30 miles from my home. They were  all shot in the head at close range in a basement. Drug deal gone bad? Unlikely, those tend to be more messy. Shotguns tend to go that way. Bad blood over a turf war gang related? Not likely. Those are not so pointed. It happened in Akron Ohio. Could ROC, (Russian organized crime, Triads (chinese based, big in Cleveland) Mafia, though incredibly silent in recent times finding other avenues to launder money thru ligit-business.

                     Let's face it: All the serious mob groups hold legitimate ways to cover their cash flow. Be it pizza places, deli's and restaurants that seldom have the same employees over a slender strand of months. (That aspect is their way of filtering others into the USA, under the radar. ) I've seen it in action and it works. These illegals are not nasty people. They do have a debt to work off though to those that got them here. Not so many years ago, I bowled with a Chinese team. I learned a great deal from them. Amazing. Their sense of family is like nothing the average family deluded by media and a sense that having, owning, controlling, is better than all else here in the United States.

                  I have to speak my mind here. I hope you would expect nothing else from me.

                 Let's go bonkers over bonkers over Boston!

                 Let's cover the world with photos of  Americans waiving the stars and stripes for all to see  a to display a solidarity. What for, for crying out loud? The bombers grew up here. They learned, presumably, all their  psychologically meaningful years,  here in the United States. They developed a value system from living here.

                 Apparently, graciously, they must've spent more time reading bathroom wall lore than that of the Anarchist Cookbook or their bombs would have killed more.

                 I have to like the way my countries media jumped at the chance to bring another country into it gather broader audience.

                  Chechnya.

                   As the the first suspect is gunned down, our flag begins to rise and people, most probably drunk after a sporting event, waive them madly. Pride in America songs crash onto the radio stations, calling for us to join together, rally around the stars and stripes and do...

                    -DO JUST FUCKING WHAT? WASTE ANOTHER LAND OF PEOPLE THAT HAD NO CONTROL OVER ANYTHING THAT HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

                    So the Middle East thing didn't pan out so well...

                     Should we aim our drones at North Korea and let them sail? Thank heavens KIA motors saw this coming and embraced the state of Georgia creating American jobs there a few years ago...

                     How many dead in the last twelve years have been created by our hands? How many innocent children never saw age 7 from our bombs and bullets shredding them to bits, leaving them with lost limbs, quadriplegic with nothing more than a mind to grow hatred rightfully toward us?

                  I do not blame the foot soldier. They did as they were trained. Like those dropping the bombs, what choice?

                  "

MOSCOW (Reuters) - The Russian-installed leader of Chechnya criticized U.S. police on Friday for killing an ethnic Chechen suspected of carrying out the Boston Marathon bombing and blamed the violence on his upbringing in the United States.

"The root of evil should be looked for in the United States,"

"They (the brothers) grew up and studied in the United States and their attitudes and belief...s were formed there," Kadyrov said. "Any attempt to make a connection between Chechnya and the Tsarnaevs is in vain."

Kadyrov, a tough pro-Kremlin leader whose security services have been accused of human rights abuses such as kidnappings and torture, questioned why the U.S. police had not been able to arrest Tamerlan Tsarnaev.

"Apparently the special services needed a result by whatever means to appease society," he said.

                  I said on Facebook I believed his words to be true. I stand by it. No one 'liked' it there. Go figure...

                 A few years back, and several before that, I've lived in a place where people get gunned down. Drugs deals gone south, Hookers gone independant, innocents killed due to piss poor aim. Killings in Parma Ohio, where a suspect of Polish sounding last name was taken into custody, was their Polish, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Italian, German, Israeli, Japanese, Chinese, ever brought to the forefront?

                  Chechnya.

                   Of course we did have that guy in Colorado blow away a theatre's worth of people for the opening of a Batman movie...

                Wow! How did we not go after Colorado after that terrorist event? C'mon, we all knew it was coming, didn't we? Didn't Columbine heighten our senses enough?

                 "mommy, I can't feel my arm," a child of five cries out. Her eyes, cloudy by tears her body creates looks at what is left of her tiny arm. Nothing below the elbow, all she sees is muscle and meat...

                  She deserves a better place.
                  Just get up and get away
                  To Mcdonalds.....

                   Oh yeah. Let's make the rest of the World go our way.

                   As I said before, the middle east didn't play out so well.

                    The last thing I want is another killing field for my desperate country to feel good about itself once again.

                     Chechnya.

                     If my country decides to go against you guys, all i can ask is this: Are you accepting new applicants?

          

 Mark William Darus 04222013

                 
                

                  

      

                 

                   

                 

                   

               

                 

                      

54 hour work week and 6 hours to go... "I've missed you," she spoke, her words embrasing me, hands guiding me her body.

             I cannot wait for the time to let my mind run wild once again. So much stored and needing release. So much has happened, rightfully deserving my minds focus and abilities.

            Marathon bombings, Texas explosion leading to more homegrown wastings as four people were found dead in a basement, all shot in the back of the head gangland style.

            It would seem I came back at the right time...

            I glance over my right shoulder.

            She is there, a mere arms length away, smiling peacefully at me.

             "not long away, my lover. It's time for you to close your eyes and be with me for a while." Her voice, so soothing. She reaches for me.

              Til later today, my friends.

Mark William Darus 074202013

           

...and yes, there will be more...

                  Sunrise: Solon Ohio, USA after a twelve hour work day/nite/morn.
                                  
                   I'd like to thank those of you that kept visiting while I was offline. It was an amazing two weeks away.

                   Over the next few days I plan on writing my thoughts on the Boston Marathon bombing, an explosion at Texas, USA factory and some things learned on a road that had no electricity.

                    I hope these photos can hold you til then.

                 

Lakefarm park: Ohio USA

 

 

 

 

 

                                                           

 

 

 

 

I cannot wait to share with you what I've gained in the past two weeks. Two weeks without electricity and heat. Going to a gym after 10-12 hours of manual labor and benefits that arose from that. From a purely physical aspect: I'm developing a six-pack instead of ingesting them. that's pretty cool.

 

Hmm, what of Boston?

 

We'll see.

 

Thank you once again.

 

Mark William Darus 04182013