Wednesday, June 26, 2013

As You Exhale Freely…


                                      As You Exhale Freely…
                              Should I get a degree in Psychology?
                                      By Mark William Darus

           Imagine your words and thoughts like your escaping breath on chilly morning, taking cloudy forms, sometimes going into circles and other times into other shapes, like clouds. Yet, unlike clouds to most, carrying meaningful things you share with me as I see them.


              The sky above you goes from black to the West toward blues reaching lighter hues of orange to pinks finally splashing toward raging fiery reds to the East. Another days sun awakens as you speak to me both verbally and physically. Your tonal qualities greet my ears, your movements create pictures to my eyes as my mind mates them.

              I see what I see. I hear the things I do. I take the time to try to live in ‘your shoes’ as I process different than most of you. I believe that makes the difference with me. I’m not afraid to dive into the minds of others and toss things about. I have a strong enough sense of self that I fully know I will never lose myself again as I go toward others journeys of exploration.

              I don’t feel like most of you, but I sense things clearly, perhaps on an altered way of viewing. I know the difference between right and wrong. With myself, it is all black and white, though I understand with others this is not the case. I believe this is where I was given a gift at birth. That gift being: Seeing things from others views, taking their emotions in consideration while being honest with them and cold in that process.

             I don’t experience pain, but I know others do and it affects them profoundly. Be it the death of loved one, a coworker, and lifelong pet, I understand how people hurt when these things occur. Their lives take on a change with a passing of a close one, more often than not, going introspective. They view their time with them, how it was spent, and your god forbid: slaving endlessly over the last argument you had with them. Would you dwell on every wrong thing you said to them? Do you really wish to think of how you could have done things differently in your time with them?

                Sure, you could learn from these areas. But take that in perspective as days walk to weeks, stroll into months, and waste to years. There’s always something to learn in each moment of our lives. If you have an open mind, great.

           Most fail to look back on the happy times shared and the stupid laughter created from falling off barstools to getting seriously splashed by a car in the curb lane after a heavy rain as they walk down the street. A belch or fart at a wrong moment, heard by many. The blush after saying the word “shit” in front of others at an undesirable and corporately inappropriate moment during a speech. Saying something they found funny and watching them blow Pepsi out their nostrils as caught off guard. The best moments to look back on besides the secret connections you had with them. Gain strength in this: Yes, you miss them. Yes, right now you hurt. Right now, they are not hurting. And this is my personal favorite: If you believe in a here-after/otherness, you will be with them again. Granted, this time they’ll have the drinks waiting for you… J

            I am perceptive. I read things very well in regards to others as they talk and move about. I can tell a genuine smile from a faker at 50 to 100 feet away. (and yeah, I tested this at several venues for personal calibration: sporting events, bars, street corners and funeral homes. I simply walked up to the smiler’s and asked them a single question or said they were faking, after angling them aside: From their answers, and their stances changing, I gauged from that. Keep in mind, I’ve been doing this for decades.)

            The best part of this perceptive ability/gift is how it gives me an ability to be truthful to others without the politically correct bullshit that seems to run like a plague in the United States. Clearly, soundly and as subtle as a chainsaw performing an abortion, I do something different for others when they ask me questions about their life and how to get over or cope with certain areas they continuously suffer with/from.

           In the last nine months I have attempted to be a therapist for over 39 people across our climatically morphing blue marble. Chatted with when available, emailing firmly, phoning when workable. Granted, one augured in and killed themselves after I tried for them to seek help locally (Ukraine). People will die no matter how hard we try. Seriously, think about this: Every surgeon knows how to cut, remove, splice and save, yet survival does not always happen. That’s life, or perhaps better said, death? In that span of time, you’ve read, or maybe you haven’t, reader comments listed here.

       I try with little hope to find what makes us human, yet with each of you that send me your thoughts and desires I gain further ideas.

       I will go on.

          Should I get a worthless degree in Psychology or just keep doing as I do? There’s a time and a place to die and this ain’t it.



Mark William Darus 06262013