Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Wishing to be Eaten: THE DOOR.

     The Door: Wishing to be eaten.


     What makes an easy prey for those that are Psychopathic? The hunted ask and more often than not, seek those that would devour them. They do this to gain some sense of worth with the aspect that they are so willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of being noticed, regardless of how shallow it appears to others.
       They wish to open a door for acceptance by ‘the one’ that would complete them. They open this door, like the blinders of a thoroughbred, only seeing straight ahead and never looking to the sides. Those side views, so important when taking in a complete picture, they block with an almost reckless abandon. They wish for someone, anyone, to just walk through the door and see them as they wish to looked at.

     This door they created.

     This door they never should have opened with eyes blinded to all aspects.

    The Door.

     Be it some lonely person with hungry eyes, seeking acceptance, feeling so alone and isolated from love. Their friends have these ‘great relationships” that they so carelessly flaunt amongst themselves, to further perpetuate a feeling of loneliness and isolation to the one that ‘needs and wants’. The

    These are the prey of the nonviolent Psychopath. The needy, the sad, and those with little to no self esteem.

    They get up every dull morning with no warm body next to them. They prepare themselves for yet another day; showering, doing their hair and applying make up.

   Looking into the mirror, staring at themselves, doing a critique, perhaps thinking: ‘am I too fat, too stress worn, look at my crows feet. Who’d want me? I can barely tolerate looking at myself and all my

obvious flaws. My cellulite, massive thighs, flabby arms, triple chin. My god, look at my stomach! No matter how much I work out, my gut never shrinks. I am ugly.”

    They put on their clothes and head out into their world.

    They smile at the worker in the coffee shop, exchange words regarding things like the weather, stock market, the price of gas. Most friendly and inviting, just waiting for someone to engage them to further discuss current events, they open themselves. They toss up air-balls in the hopes that they are caught by heterosexuals or homosexuals alike depending on their desires.

    They head to work and another day like so many before. When they arrive at work, coworkers ask them how their night was, or worse, how their weekend was. Sometimes, so into the fantasy of romantic novels they use for a human replacement, they answer the questions; it was great! I met this guy/girl that was/is amazing! So nice, they took me out to eat. We went for a walk on the beach and shared a sunset where we kissed.

    After several weeks of living this lie, perhaps to save face with coworkers, ashamed of themselves for not having ‘the one’, they may add: I was so surprised! I was taken on a weekend trip to (wherever). And, well, we made love. It was great! This may just be ‘the one’.

    After work, they head home to maybe a dog or cat. They may read a book or cruise the Internet: checking out the dating personals with the hopes they may have responded to.

    They may talk to neighbors briefly, whom are usually married and seemingly happy with their lives. Sometimes sharing: you guys have no idea how lucky you are to have found each other.

    Perhaps having a drink or two with them, they always try to raise the hopes of this desperate person saying: You’ll find that perfect person someday. It took us forever to find each other and wow, what duds we met along the way.

   The neighbors usually finish with eyes meeting each other and sharing a kiss. Without knowing, their innocent exchange comes across to this lonely person as almost stating: I’ve got someone, why can’t you?

    Going back into their home, maybe hugging their dog, stroking their cat, they make their dinner. Maybe they listen to a favorite CD, watch a movie, they eat as they have for how many months with one single constant: They are alone now. And how they hate this.

    They finally go to bed. Masturbation, fantasizing of ’the one’ not with them.

    Wanting, hungering, desiring with all their heart and soul to be noticed and wanted. By the one they think will never leave them, accept them and all their flaws. They could love, cherish and take care and expect the same.

     It is with this, they so freely open ‘The Door’ with a complete blindness they no longer wish to find a truthful relationship.

    A predator will find them in due time.

   They have opened The Door