Tara Part: first story written before the world wide web.
Intro to Tara Part.
Original title: The Ballad of Tara Part
By Mark William Darus
Bright, dark, bright, dark, bright dark, lights flash above her.
THUD! The bed she is strapped to slams through a door, leading to others on her way to the emergency room arena of Mercy Street hospital.
Light and black, light and black, her pupils in a constant state of change, unable to soundly focus on anything without a swirling blur.
Unable to smell anything around her with the oxygen mask taped to her face, she wonders, ‘where the hell am I?’
Trace sounds, most distant, echoing, she hears: “her BP is steady, but her pulse is not consistent at all. We’ve got to move faster, people.” With those voices, the steady hiss of oxygen fills her ears, as the voices state: “I-I-I-I thi-thi-think we’re, we’re we’re losing losing losing her her her” echoing over and over again as if in some deep cavern.
Stabilizing her in the ER, planting her in a Suicide Watch area. Tara lays tranquilized as Haloperidol makes her physically unable to react though her mind never stops thinking, wondering, screaming madly. “Who did this to me?”
Viewing her from behind the two-way mirror, her family and some of the staff look at her with both fascination and outright horror. The amount of dosage given her, she should be knocked out cold, yet she is not and they contemplate why this is.
“She’s always had delusions, heard voices, been a changeling.” Tara’s sister speaks plainly, looking through the glass that separates them.
“Yeah, fuck, her voice even changes…” her brother trails off.
“People, have you even heard of the movie Sybil?” Tara’s eldest brother, highly sarcastically states.
Fuck them all, we’re okay, aren’t we? Tara thinks. Christ, why can’t I move my arms or legs? Damn them all to hell with their drugs, minds and shit. Fuck them all!
“hmmm, a Multiple! Can’t say I have seen many of these. We’ll treat her for now, but a better suited facility would be more beneficial for her,” an attending says to the room nestled behind the mirror.
Days pass placing Tara into a land of sedation and pleasant grounds only embraced by her through barred windows. Lost in a world she did not have any control over, she waits for her chance to bolt.
“Hello Tara, I’m doctor Franks. I’m here to help you.” a dark haired male said to her in a blank voice. Looking down at her with a look of superiority.
Tara, clamped to the very bed threatening bed-sores, wanting a shower, wanting to simply stretch her arms out. Wanting to walk and talk without drugs, starring at the man above her.
“Yeah, nice to fuckin’ meet ya. When can I walk again? Damn it, just let me move my legs a bit, fucker!”
“We can work on those things, Tara.”
“Why are you calling me Tara? I’m Kara, you worthless dickhead!”
“No, you’re Tara.”
“Asshole, no I am not!”
“Very well, Kara.” This doctor has a high knowledge of multiple personalities and responds with calm, unthreatening tone.
Her face changing quickly, as it did in transition from Tara to Kara, Phil sobs in a voice most hurt, pleading “Can’t you just let me move, a little bit, these restraints hurt.”
“In time I am most sure we can make this happen. What is your name, please?”
Face twisted, eyes crying completely, mouth twisting as it fights for non-quivering words, “I’m Phil, Dr. Franks. Nice t-t-t-o meet you.”
“Sorry, Phil. It was not my intention to neglect you.”
“Thank you, Dr. Franks.”
“Tara, why did you try to kill yourself?” Franks questioned her with an easy tone, slightly shifting in his leather chair.
Looking around the tiny world around her, noticing beige walls, white tiled ceiling, grey flooring. Her throat incredibly dry, nearly locking down, she asks, in the tone of a 4 year old, “can I please have a dwink of water.”
“Sorry. Please forgive me. Of course you can.” Leaning over her, he loosens the arm restraints binding them painfully so close to her, noticing bruises profound. Turning from her, he walks to the sink and fills a glass for her and places a straw into it. He knows this will gain her trust. Small token, but meaning much to the one held.
Tara begins to move her arms about. ‘Freedom, sweet freedom , they still work! I was worried for a while there.’ She moves her fingers slowly across her high cheek boned face, liking the feeling of something caressing her more than that of air. ‘they must have gone to the way-back on the drugs.’
“Again, my apologies, Tara, “ Dr Franks says as he hands her the plastic cup.
He angles her bed to the 90 degree position as the sounds of servo motors make it happen.
Taking the white and red striped straw into mouth, she happily begins to suck. Liquid annihilating the worst case of cotton mouth in history as she takes in the best tasting water that only the deprived could now. Tongue splashed, lips wet once again as their dry cracks are engulfed and feel mercy from moist grace. Upper torso muscles more alive, mouth tasting the first thing in days.
Feeling far more capable now to address his question, she says, “I didn’t try to commit suicide.” She looks at him, wanting a rare steak and, maybe, eggs.
“Sorry, Tara, but your sister did find you nearly dead on the floor of your house.”
Looking down with a sheepish face, a wavering male voice takes hold and begins to speak. “It wasn’t Tara, Dr. Franks. I tried to kill us. We have suffered for so long I felt it necessary to pull the p-plug and end us. I really d-d-didn’t want to, please believe m-Me! I had-”
“Phil, you cocksucker! You always try to sell us out!” Kara’s voice sharp and hard like that of a 10 inch butchers knife cutting thin bloody steak.
Most diligent, recognizing the changes before him, he asks, “Kara, please don’t interrupt Phil. I promise you, you’ll have your chance to speak. Phil, what suffering is that you speak of?”
Phil talks honestly, “Confusion. We walk into a store with a reason in mind and we forget why. We buy things we don’t need or want. We wanted food and buy socks or candles and wonder why we go hungry hours after arriving home. This is misery. I gave up and tried to kill us.” Phil looks to the ceiling, gazing from that of Dr Franks view.
“Fucking wanker!” Ebony, a British accented black woman cries out as she descends her fiery glance at Franks. “Mate, you are weak! Off the trolley, buggered, no kippers. You miss Dr. Who so much?”
“And whom might you be, please,”
“I’m Ebony, mind-eater!”
“Grand to meet you, Ebony.” Franks voice, with the greatest of training and experience, wondering of the minefield he has walked into, speaks evenly.
Watching Tara before him, he asks. “Tara, would you like a cheeseburger?”
“I can has cheezzburger?” Tara asks the four word answer in three separate and distinctive voices.
“I’ll order it for you! Any condiments?”
“ketchup would be nice,” Tara says nearly peacefully.
“I want lettuce and tomatoes,” Kara states most loud.
“Tartar sauce! I need tartar sauce,” Ebony exclaims with thick accent.
“Uh, could I have anchovies, please, Doctor?” Phil inquires meekly.
Dr. Franks takes a step back as he hears a chorus of three females voices speak from that of a single mouth.
“No, Phil, we’re not going there!”
Leaving the room, Dr Franks gets several cheeseburgers with various condiments.
Tara Part: Act one, Scene two
Tara Part: Act one, Scene two.
Shout it out loud.
By Mark William Darus
Continued from part one:
<Watching Tara before him, he asks. “Tara, would you like a cheeseburger?”
“I can has cheezzburger?” Tara asks the four word answer in three separate and distinctive voices.
“I’ll order it for you! Any condiments?”
“ketchup would be nice,” Tara says nearly peacefully.
“I want lettuce and tomatoes,” Kara states most loud.
“Tartar sauce! I need tartar sauce,” Ebony exclaims with thick accent.
“Uh, could I have anchovies, please, Doctor?” Phil inquires meekly.
Dr. Franks takes a step back as he hears a chorus of three females voices speak from that of a single mouth.
“No, Phil, we’re not going there!”
Leaving the room, Dr Franks gets several cheeseburgers with various condiments.>
Act one, scene two:
As Dr. Grimly was leaving dietary with a tray full of cheeseburgers, wondering what he’d witness as they were eaten, his digital went off with the message: RETURN TO CONFERENCE ROOM DELTA: STAT.
Quickening his pace to the elevator. The door opens and he is greeted by several associates.
“Buying your staff a pig-out there, Grimmers?”
Shaking his head, answering, “no, just feeding one..” He exits.
“Wow…”
As he enters Room Delta he sees Tara on the floor, knees bent upward while being held down by 4 orderlies. She is screaming like a banshee as sweat flows from her face reddened face.
Setting the tray on the counter to his right, he loudly asks, “What the hell happened?”
A slender, well tanned blond LPN look at him, shaking her head. “I have no idea, Dr. I was doing my rounds down the hall and I heard screaming and thought I should investigate it.”
“What did you find when you entered?”
“She was on the floor pretty much the way she now except she was punching her vaginal area.”
Grimly looks down at Tara, still fighting to break loose from the orderlies.
“Dr.” the LPN speaks slowly. “If I didn’t know any better, she looked like she was. Well, giving birth.”
“Oh, no.” he says while he bends down, getting closer to Tara. “What’s going on, Tara?”
In an instant, her faces changes, redness fading, and the heavy sweat ceasing rapidly.
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK’S HAPPENING, DICKHEAD?” Ebony’s pissed off voice blasts, her sharp eyes sending daggers at Grimly.
“Sorry, Ebony. If I knew I wouldn’t have asked.”
Ebony’s face begin to lose it’s rigid edge, her eyes becoming nearly foggy.
“Uh, Dr. Grimly, this is Phil. I think she’s having Bill’s baby. I could be wrong. I spend a lot of my life being wrong…”
The LPN steps back, watching the sudden facial changes before her.
“5mg’s of Hal, STAT, before she’s starts breaking bones.”
He is handed a syringe which he quickly administers to her.
Warmth covering the body on the floor. Drowsy, eyes closing, falling into drug induced rest.
The Dr. nods at the orderlies to let go. Slowly standing, their muscles aching mildly, wondering what they had just seen.
With inquisitive tone, the LPN inquires, “Dr. Grimly, is she multiple?”
Turning his head as he raises it, looking at her while nodding ‘yes’.
“My God! Dr., is there anything else I can do?”
“No, I think I have this after these good men place her on a gurney and strap her down.”
Before anyone could react fast enough, Tara stood up looking somehow taller.
“Hello Everyone, my name is Bill. I am so very pleased to meet you all!” Bill has a cocky edge to voice matching his overly confident stance, slightly cocked the left.
A person Grimly has never met from Tara smiles at him, the orderlies and the LPN.
‘Damn. Imagine how this would look if Tara were sporting a bikini.’ the Dr. ponders, shutting it down as fast as it had arisen. “Bill, I’m dr. Grimly. How are you, today?”
“Top of the World, Doc. Nice to be here, let me tell you!”
“That is good to know, Bill. Where did you co-”
Cutting off Grimly, Bill enthusiastically exclaims: “Congratulate me!”
“Oh, is today special Bill? Why is that so?" Grimly fights to maintain composure. This event goes beyond anything he's experienced before.
Beaming with an ear to ear grin that looked more evil than happy, Bill, in full command of room Delta, shouts: "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!"
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Tara Part: Act one, Scene three.
Tara Part: Act one, Scene three.
By Mark William Darus
continued from previous act:
<“Top of the World, Doc. Nice to be here, let me tell you!”
“That is good to know, Bill. Where did you co-”
Cutting off Grimly, Bill enthusiastically exclaims: “Congratulate me!”
“Oh, is today special Bill, and if so, why is that so,” Grimly fights to maintain composure.
Beaming with an ear to ear grin that looked more evil that happy, he informs them, “Today’s my birthday.”>
Act one, Scene three
Locked in fully as things get more intense by the second, Grimly smiles at Bill and extends his hand to shake it. His eyes move slowly from Tara’s swaggering movement to the orderlies and the LPN.
Bill, still smiling like the cat that ate the canary, reaches to grasp it.
“NOW!” Grimly yells setting the room into motion with sudden urgency.
“Wha-” Bill chorts as the biggest of the two orderlies grab to purchase hold as the LPN shoots him with a strong tranquilizer.
Exhaling quick, feeling sweat build on his brow, Grimly says, “Good Work, everyone!”
“What the FUCK did we just see, Doc?” the biggest of the strong-armed men said slightly out of breath.
“I’m not really sure. I’ve never had one born before me…”
The unison of the hive-mind buzzing with unspent energy causing disruption most profound. Single brain attempting control with input crashing in from 5 sources all at the same time. It was like that of turntable in an old railroad yard with many important locomotives going for the main spot to fulfill their obligations.
“Like we weren’t drugged enough?” Kara cuts through the huge amount of white noise.
“Just more loo-fuck wankers holdin’ us down, mates!” Ebony slashes across an open channel.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Phil’s weak voice whimpers.
“My Birthday! My damn Birthday and I got stung? This shit is not happening!” Bill sounding firm and unyielding.
The wasted body soon strapped to the bed gazes upward with eyes glazed over as if a light coating of Elmer’s glue had been applied. Fuzzy world to see.
Far fuzzier to live in.
“Dear Lord, why? Why is this happening? Why does this keep happening? I didn’t hurt anyone at all,” Tara’s mind mutters on, eventually closing the chatter from the others that annoy her so deeply. Her mind taking in the room she’s rolled into. The bright smell of the tiles above her, sounds of the greenish walls surrounding her and the taste of the History Channels documentary on the invasion of Normandy Beach.
Finally falling into the peaceful realms of gentle sounds of burbling water over rock, gently clouded blue skies pleasing to the viewer mixed with scents of fall looming over with that of fresh cut grass. Serenity deserved, Tara falls to sleep.
Alone with herself, Tara tranquilly begins to dream.
She is standing in a long flowing deep blue nightgown, her long dark hair dancing with the warm gentle breeze that crosses. Behind her is a misty landscape of green meadows rising from dense forest between two rises with bluish/grayish skyline in the center.
Scents of heather and lilac dance in her nose, bringing a smile to her face so calm and restful. The timid rustle of the strong leaves of oak and maple trees engulf her, planting her in this place of triumphant nature.
Turning slowly, taking in as much as she can for as long as she can, she raises slender arms to the heavens as she leans her head backward, eyes closed. Tara’s mind goes to a song she’d heard long ago, Why, by Annie Lennox, and how, in this place, she can ponder such things by herself.
Tara looks down to where her feet are planted. Her eyes are treated to the billowing silky sheath on her and how her breasts look small, but firm. Traveling down, spotting her bare feet standing on what appears to be rough granite. ‘good place to stand now, isn’t, it?’.
Tara’s heart is soaring and free.
She is at one with all around her.
“I don’t mean to disturb you, fine lady, but I’m sort of lost. Can you help me, please?” a man asks her with a tone of true sincerity.
Looking toward the voice, Tara twists her frail body to meet its maker. “I’m not sure I can, sir. My name’s Tara. And yours?”
He’s gazing at her like that of a lover waiting to hold the one of his desire.
“My name’s Bill. Very nice to meet you, Tara.”
Beautiful landscape shifting about with the movement of the sun creating a swirling effect surrounding them through dancing shadows and mist.
Through the tossing clouds, a single beam of light from the sun lands upon them.
Tara and Bill embrace. Like that of lovers wanting a comfy place to lay, they draw each other closer.
As a dream can soon become a nightmare.
Mark William Darus. 09242012.
Tara Part: Act one, Scene Four. Tiny Dancer.
By Mark William Darus.
Continued from previous Scene:
<He’s gazing at her like that of a lover waiting to hold the one of his desire.
“My name’s Bill. Very nice to meet you, Tara.”
Beautiful landscape shifting about with the movement of the sun creating a swirling effect surrounding them through dancing shadows and mist.
Through the tossing clouds, a single beam of light from the sun lands upon them.
Tara and Bill embrace. Like that of lovers wanting a comfy place to lay, they draw each other closer.>
Scene four:
Holding one another with a grip almost constricting, the lonely, beckoning sounds of a Hammond B-3 begins to play from the very mists surrounding them. Procol Harums Whiter Shade of Pale churns forth filling the valley of tall bright green heather and pretty flowers with its song of desperate longing.
Tara and Bill totally alone in this dream-world, their bodies intertwined, begin to sway as one, pelvis’ fused together, turning, writhing, backs arching in unison. Their heads slowly leave the others shoulders as their faces meet, eyes locked to one another. Tara looking at him with such a look of need, wanting acceptance from another, getting lost as she sees her own reflection in his eyes. Bill, wanting her, not knowing why, having no past memories to fall back on for reference to aide him, stares back at her, frightened though not displaying it.
…We skipped a light fandango…
Rhythmically gliding to their left, joined fully, their foreheads gently meet as their noses so lightly touch. Crickets chirp and birds call out to the setting sun as the clouds disperse, giving the purest of vibrant, darkening blue skies as the music plays on.
‘Finally, sweet Jesus. I am happy! I’ve found one that wants me as I am’ Tara thinks. Serenity filling her face, tears of happiness running down her cheeks, arms around Bill tightly holding fast. ‘If this is a dream, may I please die here and now.’
…Turned cartwheels ‘cross the floor…
Dancing on ever so slowly, taking in the wondrous emotional sensations of finding someone as darkness descends further, bodies and minds carrying the slightly distracting, yet comforting dizziness. The moon began to shine over the mountain to their left as the sun dives to its days ending. The B-3 smashing onward with its unique qualities as the drummer plays on.
A meteor breaches from the heavens leaving a slash of white as its tail crosses the horizon.
….that I wandered through my playing cards…
Bill, holding Tara’s small waist, liking the feeling of her breasts against his chest, his penis swelling and not knowing why it does so, follows her lead and does as her movements convey.
…I was feeling kind of seasick…
Tara and Bill shared this moment in time. There was a solid connection between them as love filled Tara’s fragile heart with better places of tomorrows beyond anything she had known or hoped before.
…that her face at first turned ghostly…
The mountain area surrounding her began to disappear, the crickets songs going quiet, the scent of flowers parting company with her steadily.
“NO!” Tara cries out! ‘no-no-no-no,’ her mind sadly pleads as her muscles begin to tense up. ‘noooooo.’
Laying restrained to a bed of many horrible memories she is not happily connected with, afraid to open her eyes, yet scared of keeping them closed, stunned. Tara’s head begins to swim groggy waters as dreamland goes to drug induced awakenings.
“nooooooooo,” she mutters.
“Tara, we’re glad you’re back!” an overweight LPN says to her.
“n-NOT!”
“What’s that, Tara?”
“I’m not gla-” Tara is shut down as another voice is heard.
“I’m still here with you, Tara. I love you and I will never leave you,” Bill says.
“Bill! This night was special, wasn’t it?” Tara begins to sob as blood vessels on her brow pronounce themselves.
“Yes, it was, m’love.”
The LPN, a second shift new hire, stood there wondering who Tara was speaking to her back-right. Looking over her shoulder as the single person holding both parts of a conversation with female and male voice ran on, had a feeling cross her about her latest job choice.
…turned a whiter shade of pale…
“Thank you for being real, Bill! I love you…” Tara said as the drugs wore off, happily facing a new day with Bill.
Mark William Darus 09262012
Authors Note: This being the fourth part of Tara’s adult life, my fifth entry about her on Psychopathy: Another Life, I am grateful that I can keep writing about her.
Tara is most dear to me in many regards. She has been a constant companion to me over the decades. The kind of friend that can be so far away yet never far from the sincerest places of mind and heart.
I have to thank Procol Harum. I played this song repeatedly while I spent nearly three hours writing this. One of the best songs ever written: Whiter Shade of Pale.
Also: Thanks to the producers and writers of the TV show House, for making me remember the importance of this song.
Tara Part: Act one, Scene Five: Before we killed Christ.
by Mark William Darus.
Continued from part four….
<“I’m still here with you, Tara. I love you and I will never leave you,” Bill says.
“Bill! This night was special, wasn’t it?” Tara begins to sob as blood vessels on her brow pronounce themselves.
“Yes, it was, m’love.”
The LPN, a second shift new hire, stood there wondering who Tara was speaking to her back-right. Looking over her shoulder as the single person holding both parts of a conversation with female and male voice ran on, had a feeling cross her about her latest job choice.
…turned a whiter shade of pale…
“Thank you for being real, Bill! I love you…” Tara said as the drugs wore off, happily facing a new day with Bill.>
Part Five.
“Tara, an attending will meet you momentarily. He’ll talk to you until Dr. Grimly returns his page. Please, just relax and don’t fight the restraints.” She tried to maintain a calm voice but feared she didn’t. Anya, the LPN, with unwashed dirty-blond hair and thick cheap glasses looked down at Tara. “you’re gonna be alright, hon. You’re in good hands.” ‘Damn,’ Anya thought, ‘how lame is that to say? Can’t I do better than a bad commercial tag-line?’
A thunderstorm splashes her room with brilliant light as thunder soon follows.
Tara’s face tightening as the sight of Bill departs from view in the slow motion of an old black and white horror movie. His legs, unmoving, his stance, unchanging, yet dissolving into the background of mental mists getting smaller and smaller with every second.
“Bill! Don’t go! Please, please don’t go away!” she begs aloud as his shape turns into murky shades of brown becoming the carved and abused closet doors of her tiny room. ‘Too good to be true, right?’ her mind begins to ramble. ‘I’m here for you, Bill.’
The door to Tara’s little world opens with a familiar creaking sound as an average looking man enters, wearing a suit to the 9’s and an easy going smile. This man holds a confidence in his studies of mental health reaching far and beyond his college degrees would acclaim. He is a follower of Dr. Robert Hare and Dr. Hervey Cleckley work in psychopathy, Eberhardt Gmelin, Pierre Janet, and Christine Beauchamp work in Multiple Personality Disorders. His name is Dr. Gerry Buckfeldt and he is very ready to meet Tara.
“Hello, Dr, here’s the current pressings,” Anya hands this evenings paperwork to him with frantic voice and tired eyes.
“I’ll read this later, thank you. What has she been given?”
“Well, Dr, we gaaaaaaaaaaaaave heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer aaaaaaa shooooooooooot offffffffffffff=“
‘Damn it!’ Kara spoke to Tara. ‘Here comes another munchkin.’
‘Quiet, Kara! This ones dif-’ Phil tried to say.
‘Bitch, be still! Phil’s right. This one be different, mate,’ Ebony firmly finished Phil’s statement.
Taking every ounce of her energy to do so, she meekly opens her eyes to the new voice in the room. He appears to her as a silhouette against the blinding white background of her room. Longish hair falling over broad shoulders, over 6 feet in height leaning to his right.
“I’m Tara, dr.” she quietly speaks. “Well, what’s left of her that is.”
“Tara, just call me Gerry. I am glad to work with you. I am new here, but being new really doesn’t mean anything, does it?” As he spoke to her, his eyes never leaving hers, he reached down and removed her restraints. “It this better?”
Laying flat, bringing her arms together, hands grasping at opposing wrists, she stretches out. Finally making her fingers intertwine with joined hands, Tara raises them toward the heavens, her eyes sharing the smile on her face.
In a voice less stressed, she begins to sing in a single tone so sweet: “I reach out, you reach out, we reach out, TODAY!” she begins to sing a song by Stryper to Dr. Gerry.
Knowing this song quite well, Gerry responds with the bobbing of his head. Loving this song and how it brought he and his wife together many years ago at a Christian concert in Columbus Ohio, goes with the flow as he did then. His eyes closed, unthreatening stance, smile crossing his high cheek boned face.
Whipping his hair back, eyes never leaving hers, he sings with a weak tenor voice: “I was looking, never finding… Always feeling empty inside…..”
Tara, not sure how to respond, sings, “Needing a Light to see…..”
Gerry, feeling he’d hit pay dirt with Tara and her minions, continued. He shifted the gears that only a multiple could embrace as the rooms in their heads like the fast changing arenas that would bog down the normal mind. He’s head banging, eyes light in depth as he sings, “ Love can be so cold. And loneliness gets ollllllllld.”
Tara looks at her legs and begins to bend her knees to her.
“May I please stand, Dr?”
“Call me Gerry and of course you can!!
Tara reaches for Gerry’s hand and slowly rises her body once again.
Standing too quickly, a blurred head-rush encompasses her. Holding Gerry’s hand, she sees Bill face as she rises. She leans her willing mouth to Gerry and he angles to his left making her gesture a pure hug.
Taking Gerry into her life finally knowing he is not Bill, she sadly sings. “And you can’t go on anymoooooooore,”
They physically part.
“Tara, when did you first hear Stryper? Please, share this with me.”
“MTV. Loved them. They made sense to us. Warm, hopeful.” Her eyes set like that of a cows, totally deep, sincere and loving.
“Shit, G! These Yankees kicked ass here! Tossing bibles and jamming’, gotta love it!” Ebony added, her British accent most proud.
“I cried when I saw them do the Easter Song! I really did!” Phil spoke as eyes filled with tears. Slump shouldered, slowly heaving body between sobs.
“Phil, once again, you are wrong! The Easter Song was by Second Chapter of Acts! Christ, just once can you get something right?” Kara spoke plainly. A devote atheist, wonders much of those she’s shares a place with.
“ We all know what Phil meant, Kara, back off!” Bill cut in, making Tara feel more elated by hearing his loving voice. She looks about the room but can only see him with her eyes closed loosely.
“Gerry, I heard them when I was a kid. I had two brothers that loved their music. They played when they got ready for school and I loved it. I saw them in concert when my bro Heli was at college at Ohio Wesleyan. Did hours on a Greyhound to get there to spend a weekend with him.”
“Stryper played Ohio Wesleyan?” Gerry asked.
“No, Second Chapter did. It was around 1979 or so,” she peacefully said.
“What’s your favorite song by them?” Filled with energy, the attending DR. had to ask.
Tara, her smiling, gentle face innocently looking about, feeling no fear begins to say, “ I’ve always been fond of Mansion-”
BANG! A door is forcibly slammed shut cutting her off as well as the hallway world.
“I’m a Dr. Grimly. What are your observations, attending?” His voice is annoyed, perturbed. He was so close to scoring with a hooker til his pager went off.
“Good evening, Doct-”
“Yes, yes, very well. What did you witness?”
“Yes, sir! Here’s what I have seen,” Gerry began with and was bludgeoning cut off with the sharpness of a spoon.
“Did you chart it? What are your notes for me to review?”
“Dr. Grimly, you just entered and I haven’t a chance to chart or note anything.” Gerry is feeling tiny hairs rise to the back of his neck. ’you want to rock, idiot? Let’s rock!’
“Incompitent fool! Do you not know what I am dealing with?” Grimly’s impudent voice is all over the place.
“Oh, yes, Dr. Grimly! I know the ocean you’re swimming in, Sir”
“Yes, and so you should! Would you be kind enough to fetch me a triple espresso mocha from the lab dr. Bumfelt?”
“That’s Buckfedlt, Dr. Grimlly, and yes, I’ll hit the lab for you.” Smirking as he obliges, mentally adding to the “other wards’ charts of what others professionally speak about Dr. Grimly. Lowering his proud head, hands behind his back and away from Grimly, fingers clutch together and tighten. Bending down, stretching backward in motion meeting a firm, confident sigh, he again stands tall before Tara.
“Okay, Tara, I’ll be gone for a bit. It’s was nice to make your aquaintance.” Gerry, feeling vultures and predators at his back as he said this. Gerry’s hand resting on the Tara’s bed, taking note of the shape-shifter he wants to know.
“Dr. Buckenfald, you will never see my patient again!”
“Of course, Dr. Grimes!”
“My name is Grimly, sir”
“Yes, and mine’s Buckfeldt, Dr.”
Gerry’s right hand still on the bed is met with Tara’s sound left grasp.
Hoarse voice, seriously wanting water, Kara cocks her head and talks to Gerry. “Don’t you, forget about us….”
Grimly, checking his pager, disregards her words.
Gerry looks at Tara and the voices that rise from her being.
“I won’t forget you all. Count on it. I ---”
“I think I can deal with this, Dr. Buchenfeld. I am the Chief here, an I not?”
“Of course you are, Dr. Grimly.” Gerry spoke with the enthusiasm of an infomercial. “You are D’Man!” Gerry’s mind forgetting little, but if it did, having confidence in the video’s these rooms have to share the inquiring mind if all else fails.
Grimly thinking he controls all, tells Dr. Gerry to leave.
“Dr, my name is Bcukfeldt,”
“Don’t you think I know this? You think me a simple minded fool?”
“Of course not, Dr. But if you were to have an error occur on your fine paperwork, with spelling perhaps, it could mean much.”
Yelling freely, losing control: “ARE YOU TELLING ME WHAT I DO NOT ALREADY KNOW? WHOM DO YOU THINK YOU ARE???”
“Uh, Doc, do you know where you are?” Kara asks plainly hearing Guns n Roses Welcome to the Jungle in her mind.
“I gonna watch you scream!” Ebony fills the silence.
“Hmmm, yes, that is all well and good, but how does this help you, Johnny?” Grimly verbally shits.
“D-d-doc, we’ve got fun and games. Learn to live like an animal in the jungle were we play…” Phil’s voice so weak yet hitting home with Gerry’s mind.
A proud professional LPN, albeit overweight, chops Phil asking: “Dr Grimly, no disrespect intended, who is Johnny? I’ve, well, been keeping track, sir, there is no Johnny.”
“I did dismiss you, didn’t I, uh, nurse, “
“Fatima, Dr, yes you did. Leaving.” Anya gives Gerry a nod as she leaves.
“Yes, Dr, Grimly! I will get you the triple expresso mocha from the lab you asked for!” Gerry nods to his senior, thinking of Tara and how they might help her to become whole again, or perhaps for the first time in her life.
The hiss of air from the convectors fills the moments of silence with white noise greatly meaning. An FTD florist, thinking of his lovely wife, strolls the halls with a gift for a nurse at least someone wishes to bed, and splendid fragrance of the flowers sharing before they perish. Figureless humans behind shower curtained glass, walking as they mutter with faces straight ahead, distantancing themselves from decisions to yet create as their hearts grow heavier than ever known before.
“Who’s here?” Tara eyes locking on nothing. Her hive-mind community forgotten her, such a tiny child in a land of millions. Forsaken.
“I am here, Tara! You’ve taken swims in pavements hard. Have you seen my coffee, dearie?” His sound was as tough as sandpaper.
“S’ry, shitheels! Hmm, do you remember where you last placed it?” Ebony and Kara spoke in Tara’s defense, strongly siding with her as she stood alone once again.
A tall crow lands at Tara’s window. Taking in the trapped flies caught in the spiders web, it feasts without worry. Spider in dwelling, patiently knowing, ants and other things will come.
The lord will provide…
“Tara, I am here to help you,” Grimly says to her. His voice carries all the power of a paper bag against a hurricane.
Stopping at the threshold of Tara‘s shred of life, Gerry looks back at Tara and asks, singing a Second Chapter of Acts song, dropping to both knees:
“So why should I worry, why should fret?” he asks totally out of tune.
Stopped dead, the LPN is blank, the clock in the room still does what it does, and Grimly is still an asshole.
“b--because I have a Massion Builder that ain’t through with me yet?”
“No! This hospital is not building anything in the near future.” Grimly coughs and takes Scripto to paper and emotionlessly writes.
…there are those who will learn how to fly… Gerry.
Looking up, seeing all the stable of minds can comprehend, Tara takes in vivid seas of black dots and on white horizon. Tara, watching the orderlies attempt to shuffle Gerry away, she fights against with frail frame.
“Hey, Grimly, Chapter of Acts, live, EAT THIS!
What’cha say, Second Chapter of Acts blasts from her mind as her body moves in the rhythms unordinary.
Not isolated from Tara, Gerry gyrates with her as one though separated.
‘Oh, we are not done here, brothers! No WAY!’ Gerry thinks as he walks to the cafeteria for breakfast. With tray in hand, smelling what could be cardboard eggs and really bad sausage, Gerry hears her voice.
“Wow, I watched ya, there buddy. Somethings hit y’net, ain’t it?”
Gerry holds his tray without sitting. Looking at his woman, he asks, “want to take a walk?”
Elevator ride north, cold stainless steel box ascending, ending at Tara’s floor. Door opens as Gerry motions then to hold back.
“You do her no good, Dr. Fuck your name it is not important. She is Tara and I am Dr. Grimly!”
“You are so very wrong, Asshole! “
“Then who is she may I ask?”
“She, we are many! You’ve such a tiny mind….”
“my education has taught me-”
“Nothing! It has taught nothing with those like us.”
\ “Gerry, “ the voice of Tara tells him, “go, get yourself a coffee.”
And Gerry will do this, but not after setting his knives into Grmily’s back.
Mark William Darus 09292012
Tara Part: Act one, Scene Six. Gerry sets wheels into motion.
By Mark William Darus
Continued from Part Five.
“You are so very wrong, Asshole! “
“Then who is she may I ask?”
“She, we are many! You’ve such a tiny mind….”
“my education has taught me-”
“Nothing! It has taught you nothing with those like us.”
“Gerry, “ the gentle voice of Tara tells him, “go, get yourself a coffee.”
And Gerry will do this, but not after mentally setting his knives into Grmily’s back.
Part Six.
Leaving Tara behind as her door firmly closes behind him, Dr Gerry casually heads toward the cafeteria. He does need a good decaf to center him.
‘How do I derail this bastard?’ he wonders. ‘I’ve got the get some dirt on this asshole and then offer my services to treat her. I’ll even offer a pay-cut up, but I know they wouldn’t do such a thing. Yeah, that would give credence to my conviction to help her and gain respect for my conviction.’
Smiling at staff as he passes them in the brightly lit hallway as words of urgency pass from overhead speakers, his mind still churning about his current task. ‘How does one derail another’s career that spans many decades?’
Stopping momentarily at a crossroad, looking right and left with an amused face plainly displayed, forgetting where the cafeteria is, not knowing which way to tread.
Thinking of a close friend of his that can find the worst in anyone’s background, Gerry pulls his cell phone from his right pocket. A confident smirk filling his features, he dials his friend Jeff.
“What up, brother?” Jeff answers happily.
“Hey, I’ve got a job for you.” Gerry says to Jeff.
“This a paying gig, bro?” Jeff asks, seeking coin, forgetting the past.
“C’mon, man. You still owe me after the last tip I gave ya.”
Sighing loudly, Jeff changes his tone, “Sorry, Gerry. Didn’t mean to hit your wallet so harsh. It’s been a slow month. What you got for me?”
“I’ve want you to give me leverage on a Dr Grimly. A senior Psychiatrist here.” Gerry voice is energetic and somewhat vengeful.
Hearing a multitude of sirens from the front of his century old home, Jeff asks Gerry to hold. Grabbing his Pentax camera, Jeff goes to his front porch forgetting he is only clad in his grey Hanes briefs. A rather good freelance photographer and an exceptional PI, he holds a single minded obsession to get things in the now.
A stabbing occurred a few houses from his.
As he ran to catch pics of fresh flowing blood and perhaps the gasping expressions of those about to die, several people cited his lack of clothing.
“Fuck you! I’m still legal!” Snapping shots in real light long before camera crews hit the scene, he switches to video mode to capture the Police on the scene.
Stepping up to victim, crossing between black and white stills and color video, he only leaves once the local TV stations arrive. Giving them his card, knowing they’d call him for split second footage, to him a paying thing, he goes back to Gerry.
“Sorry, man, some asshole just got snuffed a few dwellings down. Had to take it, you know?”
Laughing, Gerry said, “Of course, dude. That’s your bread and butter. Well, that and catching some guy with a mistress in a Motel 6. You’re such a fuckin’ parasite!”
“You know it! Everybody lies and I get hired to nail their asses. Sure, the fire and death shots are random, but the infidelity shit is my realm. Gotta love women with rich hubby’s that get paranoid and hold great prenupt’s.” Jeff, chuckling as he uploads the stabbing pics to his Hewlett-Packard.
“You are sick man,” Gerry states, fully laughing, speaking on, “You’ve to get me some shit on this guy.”
“hmm, sounds like this is a personal vendetta to you, Gerry,”
Taking a second to reflect, standing at the hallways crossroad, looking around him as a gorgeous red haired nurse says hello to him, he snaps back. “No, well, yes, shit Jeff, I don’t know…”
A near evil smile nails Jeffs face as he talks to his friend, “Brother, does your stomach ache?”
“Yeah, how’d you know?”
“Don’t lie to me, shithead, I hear your voice. You fighting for breath?” Jeff knows he’s got him.
“Okay, so! What does that have to do with it?” Gerry voice is reaching out, nearly gasping for simple air to finish a sentence.
The very sick humor Gerry likes about Jeff, Jeff begins to sing, “W-huts, love got to do with it?” Jeff does many impersonations well, Tina Turner is not one of them.
“I’m not in love! What would make you think that, Jeff?” Gerry’s mind going into overdrive. ‘how well does he know me?’
"I’m not in l-ove, no no, just becauuuuuuuuuse,” singing 10 cc’s famous tune Jeff cuts chopped off.
“CAN YOU PLEASE JUST DO WHAT THE FUCK I ASKED, JEFF?!?!” he yelled, losing it.
“Gerry, I got your back. Didn’t mean to bust your chops. Okay, yeah I did, but it’s all in good fun, right?”
No longer yelling and bringing unwanted attention directed his way in the hospitals corridor, “Thanks, keep in touch, okay?”
“Peace, man. Laters,” Jeff said hitting his computer like a lunatic. He began to send emails to his vast network of ‘closet’ diggers and give them the info his friend gave him. Sometimes the footwork of investigation can get heavy, but the internet makes it less physical as one wheel greases another.
Taking a deep inhale, planting his cell phone to pocket, a hand touches his left shoulder, causing him to jump a bit.
“Sorry, Dr. Didn’t mean to startle you,” Anya says. She is glad to catch him though. She was taken by him and his dealings with Tara this night.
Gerry turns and sees her standing behind him. Quickly reaching acceptable composure from often being blindsided by patients, he calmly says, “hello.”
“Would you mind if we ate together? Forgive me, would you like to join me for breakfast? This shift was very, uh, how to say this, uh-”
“Different?” he finished her words.
“Yeah, right. Am I being unprofessional on this, Dr? Anya’s tone growing more weak and fragile the more she spoke.
Placing his right hand on her nurses green shoulder, Gerry asked, “When does your shift end?”
“Ten minutes ago.”
“Mine officially ended 1 hour ago. Breakfast? No, not really.”
Anya, disappointment showing in deep blue eyes, thoughts of failing once again to connect, “okay, so sorry, Dr.”
“How’d you like to go for a stiff drink?” Gerry, wanting to feel once again the arms of a woman around him, asked her.
Flabbergasted and liking it, “That’d be great, Dr. I don’t live far from here. I could make us breakfast and serve up peniscolada’s,”
Shaking his head, lips curled upward, eyes never leaving hers, “If that’s not a Freudian slip, Nurse.”
“I’m Anya.”
“Just call me Gerry.”
Departing the crossroad, meeting again in the staff parking lot, he followed her.
Standing on the oak deck of her home, eating eggs, bacon and dirty potatoes, they shared their dreams and desires as they downed many alcoholic beverages.
After giving a hearty belch and apologizing for it, Gerry reached for Anya as she reached for him.
Brilliant skies rose to greet them as they held each other. Gerry’s head gently placed on Anya’s shoulder as she to his. Sensations creating exquisite feelings as their ears lightly touched. As darkness goes from black to blues to purples, orange and yellow as the eastern sun takes hold of another day.
Slowly, cautiously, while their eyes never leaving one another, they undressed each other. Never looking at each others body below the neck, she took his hand into hers and he followed her. She passionately took him to her warn place where they shared the peace after an odd shift.
“You have no idea how good this feels, Anya,” Gerry moaned as she hands grasped his shoulders.
His hands caressed her smooth thighs, though not as gently as he wanted to.
“Likewise, Gerry.” she sighed, taking in every moment in this place and time.
Holding each other happily, sharing a slender shred of time, joining as one.
“I so love you dick, Gerry,” she spoke affectionately.
“Another Freudian slip, Anya?” he asked.
Her face blushing in bright red creating pinkish hues with the rising sunlight.
“I am so glad to have you with me in my hot-tub, Gerry, is what I meant to say. On my deck, that is..."
Both laughing, mildly buzzed, leaving the hot tub, they took a walk into her backyard where they made love as neighbors dogs barked and the morning rush filled the air with car horns and the yelling of idiots.
Mark William Darus 09042012
Authors Note: I loved writing this. Going into the private lives of those that wish to support and aide Tara, I felt the words flow so easily.
