Monday, August 25, 2014

Scareyland : Thirty Six years ago this Summer: I became an Extrovert.

                               Thirty Six years ago this Summer: I became an Extrovert.
                                                                          by
                                                             Mark William DArus.

                    I loved to ten speed bike around with my friends. We did this nearly all year round, biking everywhere to see whatever there was to capture in our minds.

                    I was a recent 16 year old when I was accepted for a Methodist Camping trip that involved biking. A close friend of mine also tried for it but was somehow denied and caps were filled.  When I, accepted and him, denied, I told my folks I wanted to back out.

                   They said no, so off I went into what I perceived as 'ScareyLand'.

                   Scareyland should always  be looked at as a real place in anothers mind when dealing with exceptionally shy teenage boys and girls somehow seeking more or at least something different based on their unique abilities. Scareyland.

                    Often bullied in my youngest walkings to school, this, learning via my father how to stand for myself and fight back against them, I so remember an xmas  years long before this, that he bought he and I matching boxing gloves to teach me how to defend myself. In modern times, parents would be seeking lawyers. Fuck it, though, I think my fathers way was better. Let them hash it out.

                   Of those days boxing with dad in a cold and clamy basement, and on the other side I made pretty/fragrant candles in the very same area, he patiently softly punched my stomach, head and groin. Each time he connected, he told me how to defend against such jabs. We would go over it, time and again til I got it right.  Over and over he I and i would do this.

                    I, was like maybe nine then, when he taught me how to stand against bullies.  My Father was a Marine. When I asked him about his basic training, he'd go blank and tell me nothing.

                     In his footlocker I found, during a boring lonely summer day of my youth,  his Basic Training Marine Corps manuals. I was about 10 then. Frankly, I can see why he didn't show me this while we were boxing. I have little doubt I would have become a total killing freak after reading that piece of work. So, thanks FAther, and also to my Mother, for influence during that boxing time frame, teaching me, impressing on me other avenues avenues of defending oneself against an aggressor. My Mother would say: Mark: Physical confrontation only occurs when both sides have nothing further intelligent to say.

                         So, I learned how to stand to bullies and not give up my lunch money, the lunch my mother made for me with loving hands.

                        A lot can be said about physical desensitization

              Yes, during my elementary years, there were many. I'd end such confrontations after my dads lessons with perhaps a black eye, bloody nose and or fat lip, but I stood above their asses, saying to them : "You want mine! Really? Give me yours!"  and I'd look at thier brutes friends and say, "c'mon, you really want this?"

                         So I learned how to defend myself. That was most cool in the 1970's but even better nowadays. Wouldn't you agree that the teaching of 8 and older females children should not learn the value of pepper spray?

                         Think about it, really.... Take time and reread if needed.

                         ScareyLand goes yet sideways in most avenues of experience. When self and strangers are faced with one another for the first time.  This is a place of gathering like the worst of blind dates. A human mental collision of everything we hold sacred within ourselves

                        Imagine being thrust into a world of others as an introvert. 
     My parents took me to the place this Methodist Bike Camp would start.
           I felt so scared and frightened as they hug and kissed me goodbye, smiling and wishing me luck in my adventure for the next 7 days.
             Seven days away from everything I knew, enjoyed.
              What the fuck did I know about camping??? For fucks sake we never did that as a family.
              Sure. My sister Heidi and I would sometimes make a tent in the diningroom under a table near the air conditioner during the summer. 
                      I thought I was about to die as I met those I'd spend 7 days with. All of us were total strangers to each other.  
                      I met teens from Coshockton, Sandusky, Seville, Loudonville, Girard and about 2 other areas in Ohio.
                        When meeting, most of us looked like deer's in the headlights about to get run over.
                         The intro's were so awkward and sketchy as all us stumble with each telling a bit about themselves and where they are from/


                       Tossed into a world of strangers and....
                  

                          

               


                         
                   

                   

                   

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Desert Pains: Reaching Further via Social Media. JUST TAKE A SEC AND LEARN.


                                           Desert Pains: Reaching Further via Social Media. JUST TAKE A SEC                                                                        AND LEARN: Before you fall victim.
                                                                                               By
                                                                                    Mark William Darus.

                   Having recently found another avenue of gathering those that have a desire for learning about human nature, and yes, its ugliest and most disgusting aspects of it.
                        I decided to create a Facebook group in an attempt to reach out further into CyberSpace/The Electric Circus.  A place  for us to grow from delving into the darkest of alleys, depths of depravity, worst areas of ourselves for glimpse into those predators you would let into your lives. And, yes, when feelings of loneliness engulf your everyday being, you toss yourself up as ample prey to be used and most abysmally abused.

                          It is my wish, in conjunction to my blog, for all of us to gain further enlightenment on psychopaths and sociopaths we see, greet and bring into our lives each and every day.
                       If interested, send a join request,
                      HaVE  a day in bliss and peace,
                        Mark William Darus

                  here's the Link:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/674377672637477/


                                           

Monday, August 11, 2014

Lonely Moon Final



                                         Lonely Moon.
                         Will the United States ever Reclaim their footfalls there?

                                    Or was it all a hoax back when?

                      MWD 11082014


Friday, August 1, 2014

Deadly Women: Deadly World We Live In. Destroying one another...


                                                                    Deadly Women: Destroying one another....
                                                                          Mark William Darus.

                             AUTHORS WARNING!!!! TAKE STRONG NOTE! THESE LINKS ARE HIGHLY DISTURBING AND VIOLENT.

                            Several months ago, I actually bought a magazine while waiting in line during shopping. It was about females serial killers, spree and thrill killers. Granted, I seem to love reading about both psychopaths and sociopaths alike, I found reading, delving into these womens lives most fascinating.

                              I thought I'd share a few links with all. These links are from FBI Profilers  (some former members of their exceptional BAU (Behavior Analysis Unit made critically known from Mark Gordon's Criminal Minds TV series.)

                          I was struck by Brenda Spencer, born April 3 1962, who from her home in San Carlos California, fired 30 rounds at Cleveland Elementary school. She injured eight children and killed two adults. She was 16 when she did this, January 29 1979.  Before surrendering to police, she called a Journalist, and when asked why she did it, her only reply was: "I don't like Mondays."

                          More perverse and perhaps further perplexing is this fact: She was very interested in Photography and won first place in a Humane Society competition in 1978, less than a year earlier.

                           This was the first American school shooting.
                             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ67srYZf6g

                             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0AAa74e7sM

                              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiXSj_qiCic

                              More on Brenda down the road...

                                                     Rachel Wade. Feb 27 1990:
             
                                          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akOkjhEcZF0

                                                   Teenage Female Killers.

                                       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8N4o3cPcQM

                                                  Many believe most female serial/spree/thrill killers are created from childhood abuse, both sexual and smashing their self esteem to the hilt. . I have done enough research on this to know there is credence here.

                                                  Just Melvin, Just Evil: One of the most disturbing Documentaries I have ever seen.  This is incredibly sickening and uncensored. WARNING: This is rough to watch!
                             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lY4eHaiVK9s

                                  Perhaps this might shed some light...
http://thenewobserver.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/pedagogy_oppressed.

                                       This one would get the best music award!
                                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9ybIqXeRNA

                                                      Leaving you with this one, from a former FBI Profiler:
                                               I post this because I believe the minds of the FBI's BAU to be the most disturbing, compelling and most captivating. Imagine having the enlightening and highly disgusting ability, (I call this a gift at birth, perhaps a divine curse.) Possessing an ability to dive into the minds of murders, rapists, arsonists, and the most deadly scum of humanity, empathize with them in order to find them, hunt them down and catch or kill them.

                                                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKA1CXBOchY

                                     
                                        Why is it so many of us are fascinated by people like this? They seek and kill so freely. hunt other human beings, catch and torture, butcher them.  Granted, I know perfectly well  where my spring rises from, but what of the rest of you?
                                      Is it from Hollywood and the myriad of Friday the 13's,  Holloween series, Jack the Ripper, or perhaps the greatest and the best they offer us: Hannibal Lector with Anthony Hopkins throwing his best?

                                        Having many friends that truly like True Crime things, I can only say this:

                                                Hey World:

                                                 Want to watch the death of others  in their backyards disturbing?

                                                 Care to see the bodies being  blown to bits or twisted beyond belief and mangled by mortar fire?

                                                 Wish to watch children getting ripped apart by shrapnel as their parents die before them as we as a race destroy one another? Justifying this, fist thumping chests as we proclaim it a needed strike to preserve our nationality.

                                                     Yeah, If you search the internet, you can see all these things and more so.

                                                    There is so much turmoil going on now, I feel lost when attempting to write about it. This makes me stupid, so I apologize for this.

                                 As always, Dearest Readers,
                                   Thanks,
                  Mark William Darus
                                                   

                                             

                                               

                                                 

                                               

                                             

                                     

                                         
                                     
                                         
                                   



                       

                           

Friday, July 18, 2014

A Time to Kill. Take Human Life to its Lowest Common Denominator. Just Push the Button. Launched=Death.


A Time to Kill. Take Human Life to its Lowest Common Denominator. Just Push the Button. Launched=Death.
                                                                      By
                                                        Mark William Darus.


              I awoke today like so many others.

              My cat, poohyan, waking me most annoyingly as it walks over my legs and chest repeatedly. I refer to poohyan as an it simply because I do not remember what sex it was before being fixed and frontal dewclaw. Sorry about that, I'm a narcissist, yet clearly not perfect.

              I got dressed, left the dwelling, entered my 03 Chev TRailblazer and turned the radio on to AM talk shows. I heard about the downed Aircraft over Ukraine/Russia, a passenger jet, and got a bit agitated.

                A quote sprang  into mind: When you have a lot of Knives and Forks, You Gotta Cut Something. Stephen King.

                 Russian Fed people rise up, hope to take over areas and lands of the Ukraine.This occuring just after the Olympic Games, and the world goes: Huh? WTF? Such timing, so preciously laid for all us to travel down two roads. These roads being, are many in the Ukraine wishing to rejoin Russia for some bastard form of comfort like that of a battered wife would accept from an abusive husband to her willing side after a brief incarceration, or that as the children/descendants of the oppressors resist.

                Let Russia deny their hand in oblivion creation in the deaths of 298 as they will state the launch codes  were not breached, yet  arose from the Gains of the those rebels wishing the Ukraine to be back to Russia.

                 I did like the blurb from some newscaster that said he believed the missile came from Chechnya wishing for the USA, Russia and China to go into a :Sum of All Fears: a movie by Tom Clancy.  The film had a Neo Nazi  group making events that would put Russia and America on a collision course.


                 I am need of sleep. For that I am sorry.

                 This is not a school shooting, some dickhead killer at a 7/11, Postal worker going bonkers.

                 Countless Dutch, Australians, Americans getting dead from a missile hit f0r calculated kill count.

                       Good day/night/eve to you all,
                       I appreciate your reading my words,
                      Mark William Darus              

for vids and disgusting pics.... and yes, this is a warning highly profound.
http://www.wtam.com/onair/mike-trivisonno-2339/raw-and-produced-videos-of-a-malaysian-plane-shot-down-over-ukraine-killing-nearly-300-12577187/


               

               

           

         

           

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

How does one write this?

         
                                                                  How does one write this? Me being Guilty????
                                                                              by MWD.

                           Please Note: this writing took over a wseek to place here. So sorry, dearest reader, for the jerkiness of this entry.

                           Its events will haunt me til my dying day and rightfully so.

                           Early morn yesterday I had to bury my dog of many years. This dog was big. 130 lbs.

                           I got home from work about 1:15 AM June 18th.

                           I went thru the normal rituals of letting each of my dogs out. While doing so, I refilled food dishes and replenished water for them.

                            Nuq seemed okay. He trotted out the door, tail wagging,  and headed for my small backyard 150 gallon pond like he has always done in hot weather.

                            He drew his last breathe in this 18 inch deep space, yet its currently holding less that 12 inches of water.

                             This is where he died just twenty four hours ago as i began this writing. My mind is swerving down avenues a plenty. Areas vast as my working guilt could have played a hand at his death via working hours or my simple displaying a better life at the hours of between 230 in the m0rning to 430 AM when I'd have them out as others were asleep, heading toward their day as I'd end mine.

                                Mind, mine, reeling for some chance at rationality at Nanuq's death, finding the sounds of sirens and apparitions causing  me to take hold of my other dog, FRODO, and finding a  better life for her.



                             Could have been a heart attack, loneliness, neglect on my part given the hours I work.

                             I had tried to find him a better place to live. I tried several times to gain him a home on farms.

                            Nuq was a 130lb  Great Pyrenees.

                             This dog would toss his arms over my shoulders and look down at me. He was big. He loved me.

                           And yes, he bit me a few times as well as others. I guess it was my stubbornness that didn't have him killed years ago as he did so.

                        Granted, in all honesty, Frodo, my grand and glorious, most intelligent dog ever in my fifty one years livingm loves to Sweep behind others close to me, and nip their asses. My friend Michelle K described Frodo as AssBiter. and that's accurate. Frodo, does take a nibble....

                                 To memories of Nuq....

                               I remember his days while growing at 3/4 a pound a day caused awkward  physical behaviour as we'd feed his bowl 1 and a half pounds a day of food to fuel him.

                                He stumbled about with  each step he took as a child under my care.
                             cheering his triumph as he climbed to couch level.

                                     And as a puppy, though larger in stature eclipsing, Frodo, the ALPHA in my realm, she being the most intuitive and  intlligent
                                           Unlike Frodo, Nuq didn't eat rocks, pigeon

                              Washing him was like washing a sub compact car. He so loved water splashing over him as well on his undercarriage. And when he splashed dried, water was felt over ten yards in distance. I so remember him looking at me, loving the splashing water against his frame.

                           Every encounter with Nuq was like being greeted by that of an adult. He'd tossed himself at me like Dino of the Flintstones and hug me like a human. He'd place fore paws on my shoulders and look down at me.

                              He did this til the day he died, and walked toward my tiny pond..


                               Imagine panic filling me finding a good dog dead.

                              I tugged at his neck after calling his name repeatedly. No response.  I placed a hand on his torso. Nothing up nor down, nor sideways. Pulling him out by his collar, my mind will never forget the thud sound of his head hitting the sand....
                        And his Death was from my failure to find him a better place to live....








                           


                           


                       

                           

                           

                         

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

PLEASE STAND BY: WE'RE CUMMING TO YOU lIVE...


                                                   PLEASE STAND BY: WE'RE CUMMING TO YOU live...
                                                                                             by
                                                                                 Mark William Darus.

             In all my decades of writing fiction, I could never have said it better than that of The Tubes did in 1979 about how America took mass media into their lives. I have given myself these last two plus years to write my truth about humanity <my search to answer a single question: That being::: What Is Human>>> and the shared writing of others.

                  Live footage of death of wars would meet our dinner tables at the six oclock news broadcasts during the 1970's.  Horror of war. I can't honestly say I remember my older sisters expressions on this. Truthfully, I don't remember anything at that time as they danced across a black and white TV screen.



                  The Media took control of the wars America would go into. Perhaps fueled by that 1%  controllers of America's holding of over 90-plus% our Counties wealth saw a need after Vietnam to see a further need to gain money  down the road.

                      Seriously speaking, Does not our Country display itself as the beacon of Democracy while all it really wishes is to preserve the strongest sense of Greed  whilst Capitalism directs eachand every one of us down avenue we'd call a loved one a hero.

Consider this fragile persons death as a gain.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporate-owned_life_insurance

Consider this:

How much are you, FUCK THAT NOISE, WHAT ARE THE TINIEST OF CHILD  BORN FROM HEROIN MOM, THE DRUNK BEATEN BABY IN SCOTLAND, the smallest of premies born at a less than two pounds....


              In Oregon USA, two dead during yet another school shooting.

              Fuck the shooters.

                I wish in my next blog entry to list the names of the many taken in the last 5 years here in the home of the brave.

The Media and not the FBI give these killers memorable names abd such...


find your happy place,
hugs to you all,
Mark/ SLAM TRACTOR






                           





                   I believe The Tubes knew it would grow further.\ Back in 1979.

The words:

Listen boys and girls
About the other world
It's just a day job
Night job
Odd job
Nose job
Hand job
Blow job
Rack job
Snow job
Boring 9-to-5 job
Rather have a knob job
Things get too inertial
No time for commercials
I'd rather be a clone
I guess I'm going home
To visit Kojak
Gong Show
Happy Days
Adam-12
Edge Of Night
Love Of Life
Merv and Mike
Good Times
Make A Deal
Charlie's Angels
Family Feud
Feeling so much thinner
I need a TV dinner
I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore
TV suicide
TV suicide
What a lovely way to die
It's a television suicide
Please stand by
We're coming to you live
'Cause we got news
Hot news
Flash news
Trash news
Funny news
Stupid news
Comprehensive overviews
Eyewitness TV news
Brought to you by Gucci shoes
This one is so juicy
We're pre-empting Lucy
Coming down the street
The sound of running feet
He's at the front door
Back door
Side door
Cellar door
First floor
Second floor
Third floor
Bedroom door
Throws himself across the floor
Turns it on to Channel 4
Stay tuned to this channel
For our all-star panel
I used to know him
He seemed like a regular guy
TV suicide
TV suicide
What a lovely way to die
It's another case of telecide
TV suicide
TV suicide
What a lovely way to die
It's a television suicid

FEE Waybill and The TUBES.



       
                                                                                             

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

‘Let’s go out back and I’ll beat your ass’: An American Judge Yells at a Public Defender.

           
                                       ‘Let’s go out back and I’ll beat your ass’: An American Judge Yells at a Public Defender.
                                                          by Mark William Darus.

a bit of mood music for you to read with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqTOf0wZvGs

                                      This video is something else;
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/florida-judge-allegedly-attacks-lawyer-courtroom-article-1.1815085

                   
                                     Land of the free and home of the Brave! Right?

                                     Don't Tread on Me, no? True origin no fully known, yet used many times in American history. Notably referred to as the Gadsden Flag with a snake.

                                     From My Cold, Dead Hands! Charlton Heston, in a  NRA gathering in Colorado after the Columbine incident.

                                      Wow, nice to know we've grown from typical Post Office rampages, far too often and mundane School shootings, snipers having sport (DC Sniper, Brenda Ann Spencer amongst many other  collegiate Bell Tower leagues,) to publicly elected officials going bonkers and going violent.

                                     Just another example of a countries spiritual, mental, economic breakdown?

                                     Rome Fell, didn't it?

                                     Is this the beginning of an up-and-coming trend in the United States? Where elected Judges are going to be  based more on physical prowess than intelligence? For them to be accelerated incarnations of Stalin  with an Iron Fist more so than the likes of Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and Lincoln?

                                    Okay, maybe Lincoln wasn't the greatest example, but he did stand for a belief that I believe Americans have not had from a president in far too many decades.

                                   
                                      Imagine being in a Court of Law...

                                       Most of us have been there at some point. Be it for contested traffic tickets, divorce, or other things.

                                      Beautifully stained woodwork surrounding, acoustic tiles eliminating echos, the beefy bailiff with hand on holster, a tranquil looking brunette stenographer taking everything spoken into hard copy.

                                       And, escalation ensues.

                                       Those in audience: Pupils open wider as two highly educated men increase the  pitch and volume of their voices.

                                        Like bullets cleaving a peaceful eve in a suburban town square...

                                         ‘Let’s go out back and I’ll beat your ass’ an Elected Florida Judge proclaims.

                                         I'm quite certain, as I think most of us would,  the Public Defender didn't seriously believe he'd be bitch-slapped by a Judge in a hallway leading to the Judges Chamber.

                                          And so it goes...

                                           The Judge is now seeking Anger Management Treatment. Nice.  Isn't that like a drunk driver, profoundly guilty of manslaughter while wasted and driving checking himself into Rehab just before his trial date comes?

                                            America, Still my country: How should we treat this judge?

                                            Okay, so I would like to be a share holder in the security surveillance companies that are going to install cameras in all the hallways across Americas courts. Much coin to be made here sports fans.

                              I wish to thank you for reading this.

                              This goes out and is dedicated to a friend I'll codename: Bright Eyes.

                             Mark William Darus. 06042014

Photo credit: Georgiann.
                           

                             

                                             

                                       
                                       

                                     

                                       
                                 

                                   

                                   

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Eve of Destruction 2. America: Just sit back and gain WARNING A..LERTS.

                             
                                    Eve of Destruction 2. America: Just sit back and gain WARNING ALERTS.
                                      As their BLURBS hit your  cell phones as a first alert.                                                    But how many of you register true panic in regards to loved 0nes..

                               

                                                                        by

                                                            MARK WILLIAM DARUS.

take things a step further.....


         
How are any of us much different than this babe in a nest? Do we not, like the character of Oliver, pleadingly ask: "please sir. Can I have some more?' 
Okay, so America no longer has a space program. Damn, we farmed the Saturn 5's to the Russians, dang it! Hmmm, guess that was Cost-Effective for the benefit of the American People paying taxes, right? Fuck that NOISE!!! What we purchase to maintain our households mainly comes from China. Our space program and our American participants now rely on Russia to get us there.

AND WE LET THIS HAPPEN!
Live with it as I do.
TELL ME WHERE A CHANGE SHOULD NOT BE CREATED SOON?
.Or could just simply with fragile voice, ask for more...

-Mark William Darus 

a SLAM TRACTOR  realm to cpture......\\\\                              

Friday, May 16, 2014

NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN A BETTER DAY FOR ALL OF US!


                                             
                                   NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN A BETTER DAY FOR ALL OF US!                                                                                    by
                                                                       Mark William Darus.
                                      Let's once again take a walk down darker avenues of Mother Earth, Ice shelf's shifting, Russia vs. the Ukraine, China vs. Vietnam, Japan and the Philippines over water/oil rights.

                                                  And, in my  belief to be the best quote ever SLAMMING AMERICA TO A FACE PLANT like a failed skate boarder:


                                           
             “I propose the United States delivers its astronauts to the ISS with the help of a trampoline,” Rogozin said.

                Yeah, please tell me such a quote isn't from our own countries financial embracing of the TODAY/THIS HOURS such blinding greed by those that control the price of everyday items we Americans need for simple survival.  

We were planning on going back to the moon after the shuttle program ended. This was stopped, most abruptly, causing us to hitch a ride from Russia to get to the same vary space station our Shuttle program  played a massive part in its creation.

                                          How fucking nice is that?
                                     
                  Yeah, let's just suck it up further, citizens of America.

                Making myself clear to all:

                           I HAVE NEVER VOTED ON A PRESIDENT. I have somehow always known such event is a merely the powers that be, economic in their hierarchy, to perpetuate some belieft that voting really means anything at all. 

                   Obama first term inherited a Nightmare beyond belief after Bush Jr's reign of bullshit, terror and sadness filled our lands. Obama covering a war longer than any in American history.

                     Second term, My Leader further disgraces my people.

                        Healthcare act is a disgusting joke.

                           His concern for the Ukraine, doing little.

                    As our world goes nuts, shall  we bow down and make peace with ourselves and with one another for a grander sense than the controllers of our countries would have us be granted?

                      And as another virus takes small grip, thus far...
     
                          MErs

                                   Sorry, Fuck all the crap they want us to believe.

                                   I won't become the thing I hate.

                           https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC8clnRGVp4


       Mark William DArus: 05152014

               

                         

                       





                         

                        

                                        
                                         





               



               


                                 

                                                        Thanks to my readers that continual do so...


                                   

Monday, May 5, 2014

PSYCHOPATHY: ANOTHER LIFE. A Personal Awakening.: "THE OTHERS": (Euthanasia: Hell Bound or Heaven Se...

PSYCHOPATHY: ANOTHER LIFE. A Personal Awakening.: "THE OTHERS": (Euthanasia: Hell Bound or Heaven Se...:                                                                                                                                          ...

"THE OTHERS": (Euthanasia: Hell Bound or Heaven Sent? You Decide...)

                                                                           
                                                                              THE OTHERS:
                                               Euthanasia: Hell Bound or Heaven Sent? You Decide...
                                                                                     by
                                                                        Mark William Darus.

                              An Eighty year old man, dying slowly, painfully from cancer over the last 9 months decides he's had enough. Pain medications aren't really covering things, though what's left of his bodily actions don't  clearly display this as atrophy holds sway against his once proud and strong muscles.

                               Stuck inside his all-too living, suffering mind, existing and living, though for the sake of others, he rides in his mind alone...

                               His world has devolved into a bedridden existence where the once carefree ability of  taking a piss now escapes him.  The thought of this causing him torment with memories of doing so in his childhood: Opening whizzing with his friends on warm summer days beside railroad tracks during adventures granted and taken.

                             "The Others" have to tend him.

                             "The Others" have to spoon feed him like a loving parent nourishes an infant.

                              "The Others watch closely, though like that of a negative photograph, as this loved one before them gets smaller and more feeble and unsure of each step they take as they strain to meet them eye to eye.

                          As they simply wish for the Angel of Death, Grim Reaper, or simply an end to the pain.


                            A pig-tailed bright eyed blond gets nailed by the driver of a car down a side street. She was chasing after her kids ball. She ran out between two parked cars, and due to this being a happy time, elated and unguarded,  failed to look both ways and was struck down.

                          The doctors cannot fix her, yet can sustain her life with medications and equipment, and due to the extent of the damage, she will never walk again. She will also never have the ability to reach out and hold her children and husband again. She is unable to speak.

                         Laying on a bed, a mere ghost in a shell, all she can do is see what crossed her immediate field of vision.

                          Occasionally showing, with her eyes alone the encounters with others.

                           More often than not, her eyes leak tears without the ability of display facial expression.

                           She signed a DNR (Do not Resuscitate), yet that pales fully. Many is the time she'd told friends: " If I get paralyzed, unable to speak and respond, please kill me...

                            Friends and family both relaying her wishes...

                            Yet, day after day, hour against hours as seconds in her mind become like that of an eternity, she suffers endlessly. As she is fed with tubes, The Others changing her bag. The Others monitoring her vitals and such.


                                                          The Others.

                            I guess you could say many of us have been members of those I call The Others. Most of us have had in our shredded and dark histories the memories of someone we've cared for during their dying hours, days, weeks, months, perhaps years.

                          A legacy of suffering leading to a  joyous epiphany as those we  dearly tended to, like the  cherished raising of our children, ends with them taking a step from the here to that which will eventually   lead them beyond us.

                          The Others: Those of us that know others that desire an end to their suffering.

                           The Others: Bound by the laws of religion and moral code (oddly, that is redundant as Moral code and Law is based on religion alone, isn't it? Surely, it is not based on Human Rights and the Rights of the individual.)

                          The Others: Agency and Legal,  Political Parties that make laws against Euthanasia.


                                                                              Euthanasia:
                                                                               
                         Greek: Intentionally ending life in order to relieve pain and suffering.

                         So much for the original definition, yeah, kind of vague except for the 'intentional' part.

                          We'll get to my thoughts in time. Trust me, you know me to be of strong opinions and such.

                           The Area of your life and lands grows dark as the sun sets quickly. You, knowing one that prayed for death to meet their willing body head on is ever present in your mind.

                          Get your boots on as this will get most deep as we step into murky waters filled with tripping algae, seaweeds and thick muddy Earth during this journey.

                           Let's go COLDLY by the numbers, if you would.

                           Euthanasia is highly illegal in the USA, as it is most religious countries.  That being said, it is assumed that those that chose that avenue to end their suffering a suicide.

                             Let's take that apart: A suffering person ends their life equals suicide. I guess that gets the Insurance companies off the hook for paying out anything, right?

                            How would this occur?

                            I will simply, and disgustingly state it this way: In the eyes where insurance companies  are concerned, they'd rather perpetuate the myth of   a living body being worth more dying than one that is dead.  I believe this happens as the insurance world is connected to the medical and albeit the pharmaceutical world, perhaps even the technological industry as one that is dying is far more valuable than one that is dead.

                          In short: They lose a great deal of cash when one of their Premium Paying suffering pulls the plug on themself, albeit either by the hands of a  generous of physician or that of the sincerest of hearts of loved one.

                          Watch a movie called Soylent Green, and ask yourself the direction of our USA as it systematically destroys the middle class and what direction we're heading toward.


                            Check this site out: I found it interesting.
                               Check this out. Interesting read.

                                 We all know suicide is against the law.

                          hmmmm.

                                  We all know murder is against the law.  
                          hmmmmm.

                               And someday soon, I sincerely believe those two things will not only be sanctioned by our government but well funded by the very same many currently residing in our welfare program.

                                Ever seen Soylent Green?

                                 Whether they, the willing suicidal dead  become  food sources for the rest of us will remain to be seen. I think Halliburton, Nestle, countless pharmaceutical companies  others might be working on this though...

                                 Huge profit in death and dying and so-called preventions offered up.
                           
                                Ghastly to think that the very same corporations that sell us clothing, food, bottled water, medications for us,  and weapons for our troops might support such diabolical ventures.

                               You should be horrified at the thought. Upset at the possibility this could be true.

                                Better yet, consider that the Leaders of such companies are only interested in the Share Holders wishes and how it could benefit their bottom line. Careful consideration should be placed on the Governments that are politicians that are connected to these by either having friends, associates or themselves benefiting down the road.

                                 When a law changes saying suicide is okay.
                                   When the sweeping pen of some judge, bound for oblivion, signs off on legal murder, does that make it okay?

                                 Do you believe in the laws of man or the nagging of your heart?
                          
                               I am sorry to place you here.

                                I won't ever judge you.

                                    What it breaks down to is this:

                                    In your mind alone:  What can you live with for the rest of YOUR life?

                          Are you willing to accidentally wander through a room and trip a plug ending suffering, and dealing with the thoughts of either being a murderer or a bringer of peace.

                          Does a home health aide somehow give an accidental dose of potassium causing sudden and fatal heart issues to  occur?

                         Sorry if you feel sadly as you wished for a suffering member of your life to wish for death.

                         Sorrier still if you feel guilty as a result of making their end occur by your hands to end their misery.


                          Most do what they do in the heat of the moment. The Human life is a place of solitude standing in a doorway, watching, taking, emotion, hurting, healing/maybe, and joy.

                        Last weekend I met a man of the Clergy, an Ordained Minister in all truth, that somehow stated the bible does not look at suicide as wrong in all instances..

                       When I interjected the bible states suicide being a sin, a woman quickly jumped to his agreeing line of logic, her saying quickly: "It's not suicide as they did not kill themself. Another party actually killed them."

                       I countered back with: "Sorry, but the one wanting to be dead made a contract of some area with the one that took their life, thus creating a pact of Suicide and Murder, making both guilty of such.


                            This didn't go over well...


                             My beliefs: if terminal and in either physical or emotional realms of pain and suffering, do what you do to end it.


                             To you, friends and the Family of the dead and dying.


                             Allow yourself to feel, suffer the loss. Fucking feel a sense of HURT in your life;;;;;

                               I implore you to feel as I no longer feel anything you'd call normal.

                                YOU SHOULD NEVER BECOME LIKE ME...
                                                 
With eggs, grow a new lifes generation.
                        Mark William Darus 05052014