Friday, October 19, 2012

Shadows on my Mind: Harder than Diamonds.


                                         Shadows on my Mind.
                                         Harder than Diamonds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poEgGqHadA8

                                        By Mark William Darus

To what do I owe for the amazing gifts I have been given? In the last two months I have had two of my photographs become book covers. I am stunned in a way so unfamiliar that I have thrown up twice today. My God, two covers and possibly a third.

 

I feel something is happening to me. I have no idea what though. It’s sort of exhilarating and frightening at the same time. It’s like I have somehow stumbled into some obscure movie that it so slightly based in reality that I’m almost afraid I’ll wake up and find it an illusion.

Since July 2012, I have taken over 8000 photographs, generally liking about 10 percent of those. Such is the luxury of digital photography, oddly something I had little interest in as opposed to 35mm SLR’s. In the last two months or so, throwing myself into workings of my Fuji, I taught myself to only shoot in manual mode.

When I go on my journeys, usually with a huge cup of coffee and a pack of L&M’s, I am usually alone. It’s not that I don’t like being around friends when I shoot so much as I feel it wrong to ignore them. I get absorbed wherever I go to the point that my surroundings become my lover, it’s embrace so warm and welcome.

From a written standpoint, this will the least amount of words I have ever entered on my Blog.

Enjoy…


 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 



 


 





 

 
 
At this point after taking the last two to three hours reviewing, I think I know those that should be thanked.
I humbly thank Ryn Cricket and Deborah Gilbert for thinking enough of my shots to place them on your books. I would also like to thank all my Facebook friends for their kind words of encouragement.
But it is with profound gratitude that I say this: Big thanks as well as milk and kisses to the loyal readers of Psychopathy: Another Life! I don't think I would've returned to photography if it hadn't been for you.
 


                       To everyone, to my god, nature, cold man made steel, I bow to you for the gifts you share with me.

Mark William Darus 10192012
 



                      

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Reflections.

                                             
                                           Reflections.
                                  By Mark William Darus.

 

How many of us take the time to look back on our lives objectively? Sure, as the sharpest edge of depression stab us in the gut, most of us do. But at that point, what do we really feel about ourselves except fear and shame?

 

 

A few years back, I was with a woman that wanted someone to kill her. So utterly miserable and painfully scarred, she wanted death like one would crave a rare t-bone after happily leaving a vegan life that failed.

Laying next to me on the dampening grass, she is trembling and eyes looking crazed. Chilled air traveled around us, the moon riding high behind budding trees. The vibrations from trunks thumping from rap music playing way too loud.

“I want to die!. There is nothing for me here. Can’t you see that?” She is whimpering as shadows run across her face displaying eyes that loosen and tense up, fighting tears. Quivering lips, their ends curling up and down.

“No, I can’t. Explain.”

“I can’t do anything right. You’re not happy with me. I hate my job, I hate my life!”

“And what of your son?”

“I’ve failed him! I can’t get him what he needs. I snap at him like I do at you.”

“You have two sons though, did you forget about the other one?”

“You’re a bastard! I hate you.”

“Yeah, I am. Sorry, it was a trick question.”

Laying in a highly public park, I found it nice to know that at least one person could take it upon themselves to leave their safe-place and inquire.

“You guys alright?” Wearing a flowing skirt caught by the breeze, a short crowned blond looked down at us.

“We’re fine. Thanks for asking. She’s just upset that Dominoes is late with our pizza. I mean, really, how hard is it to deliver here?” I sarcastically initiated. Seeing the cock of head, I added, “sort of tense, but I’m handling it.” I then looked squarely into eyes and mouthed the words: ‘do me a favor. Stay close behind her in case I fail, okay?’

Nodding to us, adding, “Don’t let them forget the Cheesy Bread sticks.”

Looking into my girlfriends eyes, “People can be so rude, can’t they?”

“Yes, they can be. But not like me. I’m evil. You have to be able to see this.”

“Evil? You can be very evil. My family and friends saw this about you early on. I’ve known it all along though, kind of what attracted me to you.”

“Attracted you? That’s all you saw in me?”

Staring at her, I am entrenching, getting ready for the storm front of hostility to fly my way, I said, “Sure! I haven’t met many so self loathing and thoroughly unworthy I thought I’d take you for a spin. Do you have a problem with this? C’mon, we’re been together for how many years?”

“I HATE YOU!”

“Good.” I smiled. “But exactly why do you hate me? Because I saw you as you are early on? Because your eyes seldom meet your actions? Because I looked at you as one of the most hypocritical people I have ever met?”

She quickly rose to a sitting posture, glaring at me, arms tensing, fists clinching. Still not speaking verbally.

“You gonna cry? Huh? Are you going to cry like a baby?” I prodded.

“I-I-I! Why don’t you just kill me?”

“Well, sorry, haven’t got a knife handy. Oh, wait, I’m sure there’s a few in this hood that do. Give me a sec. HEY! DOES ANYONE AROUND HERE HAVE A SUITABLE KNIFE FOR A MERCY KILLING? I’m only gonna charge 10 bucks to see it or 20 to vid it.”

If you ever wish to gauge human reaction, just throw that out there. Everyone except the crew-cut blond took staggering flight.

She began to cry slowly at first. “I hate crying. I’m not a baby! I’m not!”

She is rocking in the fetal position, sobbing fully.

Not quite there yet, I say: “Yeah, your sons deserve better than you. They really do! And by the way, I so love watching you crash!”

Snapping too, she lunges at me full force.

I roll away, rollback and plant myself astride on her pinning her arms. My browns never leaving her flashing eyes.

“Do you hate me?!?!” I ask.

“YES!”

“You want to fight me?” I grin at her

“YES. DAMN IT!”

“Good.”

“Good? How’s that good?”

“Well, it means you ain’t done yet.”

Her voice lowering, speaking with heaving breath, “I hate to cry…”

“I know, dear. But crying is necessary. It’s like milk, it does a body good!”

“I love you. I’m so sorry.”

“I know you do and I know you are.”

By this time we are embracing each other. Her tears hit both my face and chest with their warmth as we roll across the dewy grasses.

“Why do you put up with me?” Her tone quieted and nearly even.

“What makes you think I have a choice?”

“But you’ve never left me.”

“Why would I? You’re not the monster you think you are. That and the fact you have a talent to say things in odd vocal inflections that nail you to me.”

“Where would I be without you?”

“If it hadn’t been me, it would have been someone else…”
                                          

 

 

So many are the times I reflect on this frequent event in my life. I’ve experienced things similar to this with many a fine woman in 34 years of dating.

What things do you reflect on? Have you ever been the ‘her or I’ at some point in your life?

As you close your eyes, perhaps laying with another, falling into the land of sleep alone, do you regret anything? Do you reflect on anything across the decades of your life and how it causes tosses and turns from things not dealt with?

Looking back, what would you change knowing that any change you could do would alter what you know now?

Sure, if you could go backward and not date that woman that you hastily learned to hate with your friends and family. You could chop her from your past and thus trash the very children you love created only through her in the process. Where would be then?

Standing one morning in front of full length mirror, taking inventory of areas needing a work out while hearing the sound of her ex husband on voicemail asking for her to fill the kids meds again. Thinking ‘So, he has custody, but I’m trying to do something here! Can’t he understand? I wish I never met him…’

Imagine, or don’t imagine anything as I think these things do occur, where people end up when their thoughts are heard?

 

I believe it to be the total sum of our lives that make us what we are where we are.

We are where we are, and we best learn to appreciate it. There a beauty out there.

I wouldn’t change any element in my life no matter how bad it is…
                                            


Mark William Darus10172012

Authors note: Photo subject was Rachel Anne Darus. Always a great shoot.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

What catches in your head?

 
 
                                        What catches in your head?
  What hits you in a way that doesn’t catch my interest as we walk together?
                                         by Mark William Darus

        May you and your higher power hear the words of this song as you read my tiny offering. Read the God line in any respect in your lives.
Don't take it personally, okay?
                               http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esXTFQzvXJI
               

 

Why do some of us slow down as our eyes catch the swirl of reds and blues flashing on the other side of a freeway, causing us to slow and see the possible carnage of blood on the highway? Perhaps a mangled body, bloodied face down on an auto’s hood, caught at the hip by shattered windshield, catches our fancy. Others seek the frantic elements of bodies running about to save someone else with their energy. Occasionally, there are a few that just want to get somewhere and are tired with another Gawkers block on the road.
                                         

You are standing near a towns square during a warm summer eve. It’s about an hour and half before sunset. Birds quickly stop chirping as squirrels madly dart toward trees . Heads snap in all directions as sounds become frightening echoes banking off many a stone structure.

In the towns center, a polka band plays Frankie Yankovic’s Beer Barrel Polka, it’s lead accordion player rocking about like a  heavy metal god. People are dancing, most so inebriated they think this song is the Turkey Dance.

An ambulance sirens cut this eve in half though few notice. Apparently someone is beyond drunk. A trashed, highly overweight man fell on the mayors third cousin. Granted, she of stout form and holding 365 pounds on her own, got leveled by the town drunk with his 250 pounds as he passed out.

“My lord! He crushed her!”

“I’b thunk he jus wan-ted a Queen sized to zretech onn.”

“Please tell me your camera is rolling!”

“FLAT, LIKE A PANCAKE, MOMMA!”

“That bitch had it coming! Is she dead?”

“Dude, why the fuck is the mayor smiling?”

“I did tell her it was not just a yeast infection.”

Towns process what they do in their own way.

Yet there were about twenty five townsfolk that saw a tiny woman take a beating from some cowboy hat wearing idiot in northern Ohio.

She yelled, cried, and needless to say, screamed her fucking head off.

In Ohio, all the screaming a female can do only means getting the one beating the shit out of her a bigger audience. Blood from her chopped lips flies about,, landing on storefront windows, pavement and passerby as they lick it from their face or passionately kiss one another.

She attempts to stand, rising to her knees before her husband, he spirals with pivoting left foot and plants his right heel to her forehead.

Pain rising fully, tendons hitting hard bone. “That hurt, slut!” His Achilles hit her solidly and he dropped to the memory embossed brick pavement: "in the loving memory of Irving. You bred such good pigs. My Loving wife, sorry, yourbest friend did me better. and so forth," fools payed to have cut into Beldon Brick.
Shaking off his tumble, standing fast, he aims his fists at her.

“She mustta done som’thin to git this.”

“Christ, someone needs to stop him!”

“Y’uh, I saw her by Johnny’s Feed last wee’kund. I seen her face.”

“Why’s the ambulance over there?”

“I guess calling a cop would be pointless here, honey. Time to bolt!”

“Oh! Fuck this!”

A single gunshot rings out, worthy of Oswald, and kills the abuser as the sounds of Frankie play on and the whiffs of elephant ears getting cooked fill the air. Children laugh about in the background as gasps hit this near place where ones murder is a delight to see.

In my opinion, the best line of this night went to the moron that asked if the mayors third cousin would be alright.

 

What do you see when you see?

Is that such a hard question to ask? What do you see as life passes before you?

Look at it this way: How many seasons can you experience before you die? Perhaps eighty, more often less, and what do you take into memory to pass to others? If you’re lucky, out of the 70 or 80 years you have to share, how many really good Christmas’, Pass Over’s can you recall?

I see this land I walk as some extremely disturbing place to be. Problem is, to me it is not disturbing at all. I see drug dealers and hookers all the time and I find their conversations quite interesting with twists you just can’t get from the more pathological in our society.

A few weeks ago I did the Donate-For-Cash plasma thing. Got fifty for my hour of time for my first visit. Know this: This is the first time I donated anything and had an IV connected to me. I hate needles: period! I wasn’t freaking out though. I was in ‘recorder-mode’ and did so.



“Uh, let me get my supervisor,” stating and bustling away from me.

Tall, slinking mid-length hair brunette looks down at me. “You asked for a supervisor?”

“Nope. I did ask questions though.”

“You free at 6PM?”

“You buying?”

\

“depends. What’s your thoughts on Genetic links in homosexuals versus nature?”

I gave her an answer and she stuck my right arm. Clean, painless stick like none I have ever known from tetanus shots and blood work over my decades.

“You’re a real vampire, aren’t you?” I asked.

“Meet me at six, and you’ll see.”

“okay, but do you like bacon?”

 

 

Laying flat on a mirrored bed.



I asked aloud, fighting my bodies wanting to faint dead away, I bit my lip hard and asked “So, what brings you all here?” I cannot say I hate the taste of my blood in my mouth. Truthfully, I did not mind the blood of women that ran their cycles when they were with me.

When they began to answer, I fully realized what landed in my attentions-mesh and the shit passing away like piss to a colostomy bag.

Questioning those that said: “my momma’s dying.” My asking them how: Small cell cancer? Remarkably many said their moms had kicked several years ago. Wow, cool, got them held by the arms on couches! Rock with me Freud!

Let’s speak clearly here. Did I want fifty bucks for 60 minutes? Yep. Was it my intention to talk to others laying flat and vulnerable? Absolutely! Was this a chance to dig into the minds of others? Oh yeah!

“Sorry to hear that, how’d she die?” I asked emotionlessly.

“Sh’ got trumphed by Amtrak, sucka!”

“she was weak, you see. Her man killed her.”

“I really don’t care how she kicked. The whores around here will give me a discount on a blow job!”



When my sixty minutes concluded.

I strolled to the employee smoking area and hawked a few lougies with them. I smiled as my mind thought this like some odd communion of the strange.

Wearing various forms of acceptable clothing: nursing prints of flowers, country-western themes and clouds and crucifixes, I had to ask: “ So, does cotton and polyester really prevent the connection from infected blood?” Like roaches fleeing when a light gets turned on, they split quickly.



So, what falls into your strainer?

What hits you and makes you think?

What makes YOU human?

At what point do you cut yourself from the norm?

                  

Mark William Darus 10162016

Monday, October 15, 2012

Open letter to my family about Rape and Death-Farms.

                     

                    An open letter to my family about my RAPE entry.
http://psychopathyanotherlife.blogspot.com/2012/10/raped-story-of-woman-failed-by-system.html
                         When I say family, this includes close friends.
                                   To me, loyalty means family.
                                     My closest friends hold me

                       the link below should be listened to with this entry
                                             http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V5VkMqM07s

                                   I originally sent this to Gretchen.

Personal note first and foremost.

Gretchen, M'dearest.

This one is true and very painful to many. I am sure of this but had to write it all the same. I hope as it goes further it does not cause you distress as you feel so many stresses now.



There are so many elements I need to add to part two.



Elements?



I take so many areas of human feelings and emotions and break them down into areas that make sense to me. To me, they are elements, fragments, slender threads those that ask me to put into words for them. They say they're lost and their shadows keep on changing. These wonderful people are not schizophrenic, psychopaths or sociapaths. They do have families, possess friends and passerby acquiantances. More often than not, those closest to them dismiss them and strip them from their lives. . I have witnessed this more often than not with WASPs <white anglo saxon protestants>. They seem to love animal causes and can't stand people.

                                   About Death-Farms )nursing homes(.

               Unlike so many nationalities in the USA, WASP's  without any sense of heritage, other-land background sense,  more often than not negate their failing family members. So causually, like  placing a pair of stinky socks into a soon discarded locker, they meander about their lives feeling justified as they do their best.

              Seeing this as I visited what I would call a  Death-Farm, nursing home, several times a week. All this patient needs is the caring attention of one that would place their life on hold to care for them and bring them back to either health or meaningful passage to death. Didn't this needy person do the same for us back when as they raised us?

              This being my blog, I don't care who would argue what I say. Frankly speaking, no one here in the United States comments whatsoever about what I say. No Sweat: You probably need more ego boosting media amp'd Viagra to fill you or where women are concerned, fuller tits to make you both feel important.

             Sure, I'm an idiot. But why do I see the majority of those in nursing homes <death farms> so tiny in frame that a 14 year cannot turn them to prevent bedsores? Why can't a child born of them take the time to learn the simple motor skills they taught us?

               How hard is it to place Playdough in their fragile hands and ask them to roll it out to the shape of a worm and squish it flat? To help them to stand as they regain the strength of legs?

              Most of us with enough coin can afford this when retirement benefits fail and Medicade <sp?> runs amok. Over 75 percent of all those in nursing homes have at least 2 married family members living within 30 miles from them. Most of those would rather spend 10k on a deck, pool or further living space.

                       I have learned much in the past 10 years. What I have learned, saying little positive about what makes us human, I believe most of us to be predators.  Going far and beyond what Dr's. Cleckley and Hare research discribed, we've taken this to such an acceptable level reaching a sick norm in society.

                       Who cares? Someone is making money, right?
                     Let's blow them off like bright autumn leaf.
                                                   
                                            

Mark William Darus 10152012

                 

Raped. (story of a woman failed by the system she supported)

                            
                                   Corporate Security failed me.
                                Alone in camera covered parking lot.
                                 As I became a whore down the road.
                           The story of another by Mark William Darus.

 

            After leaving her call center job for a major insurance, moon rising solidly that chilly September night at 11:05 PM, wishing she had a sweater to add to the below length black skirt and flowery pink top. Bidding goodnight to her coworkers she walked toward her car.

       Reaching into her tan purse for her keys, taking in the brisk air as fall approaches once again, feeling happy about the shift just ended. Overhead lights beaming down in circles across automobiles and cold concrete.

       “Excuse me, missy. Can you tell me how to get the Denny’s?” a shadowed voice asked from a dark Lincoln Continental.

       Stopping short of her beige Camry, she turned to him. “Sure. Just go down Wilsons Bend to Zeta Drive and it’s on the corner in front of Home Depot and Kohls.”

      “Sorry, call me slow.” he exited his Lincoln carrying a sheet of paper and a pen. Walking to the cars hood, he bent over to write directions. Wearing a skull cap and thick glasses he glanced at her.

     She innocently walked to him, meeting him at his vehicle.

        There are many security cameras that cover every inch of this parking lot.

        “Okay, you leave the lot, go straight ahead-”

       He spun around her, placing one gloved hand over her mouth and his other firmly around her tiny midsection. Over-powering her, he threw her into the car.

          Her mind, filled with horror, eyes opened wide, her limbs struggling to no avail against him. She saw his look of hatred and evil smile as he began to punch her in the head and stomach repeatedly. Losing consciousness, gasping for help, going into the black place of ‘shutdown’.

 

       Coming back from the dark-lands, taking inventory of self: ‘I can feel my arms and legs.’ Lifting her head slowly as a force smashes it back to the floor. She sees dots fill her eyes and a swimming sensation in brain, ‘why can’t I bend? Why can’t I stand?’ she thinks.

       “Oh, no no no no, missy! You’re not going anywhere. I got ya for a turn and bit! Lord yes, I do!” he chuckled happily as his saliva sprayed on her. On his knees, bent over her right hand flailing about as his gloved left hand, again, planter her head violently to the ground.

        Cold air rolling over her. So cold. Oddly she felt her nipples not erect but digging in. Nearly paralyzing frigid air but not quite. Her eyes caught him looking away from her. Raising head once again, tears running down her cheeks, realizing. ‘MY FUCKING GOD! I’M NAKED AND TIED!’

        Desperately yanking her arms and pulling her legs, screaming frantically, “HELP ME HELP ME HELP!!! FOR GODS SAKE HELP ME! HELLLLLLLLLLLP!”

        Twisting his head back to her and then looking upward. Laughing with a low voice, he throws his arms behind him stretched wide like Elias in the movie Platoon. Eventually looking down at her while smirking, ‘momma, who’s got you now,’ his mind churns about like maggots devouring spoiled pork.

        There is a stirring in this abandoned Cleveland warehouse with her cries. Lighting being only that of 55 gallon drums burning wood and cardboard for heat as reflected off the chipped painted ceilings. The hive-mind of the Homeless begin to rise from their stupors. Possessing different minds, wanting something apart from their norm, they amble toward the sound like zombies in a landscape seldom seen by most without bad movies and video games.

      Her head turns to the right and left. There are back-lit shapes heading toward her. Help arising for her.

        He looks around and sees what she does.

         Vile breath fills her nostrils as his face meet hers. “Missy, you think they’re gonna help you?”

       She meets his eyes, “:Please, don’t,” she mutters.

        He reaches into his left pocket and grabs a wad of singles. Holding this high above his head as vast array of lifeless packaging descends toward them. He yells: “YOU WANT YOUR MADDOG? YOU WANT YOUR CRACK? C’MON, I KNOW YA WANT YOUR FUCKING STARBUCKS!”

       The risen horde stop short and watch his hand.

       He hurls the cash.

       They go for it like hungry carp at the Pennsylvania Linesville Spillway, flopping over one another in a mad dash to maintain.

      “noooo,” she sobs. The world above her a choppy landscape of pale shadows of flickering light.



 
                                         Where she lay: Held. Tied. Racing heart.

          This warehouse off west Sixty-Fifth street has seen so much in its history. It once made military parts for WWII, car parts since the 50’s and other things. It is has witnessed workers going nuts as their wives left them, sadness as children passed before parents and several Mafia slayings during closed hours. It has smelled the sweat crossing strong brows and the smell of gun powder. What it has heard over time: the crying, the pleading, industrial sounds before Unions and the death pangs. Haunted? Must be.

         The failing and ever chipping ceiling looks down at her. She is spread-eagled upon dank and filthy floor. ‘she is tied to my pillars. We can’t have this here.’ This building gives a shudder as if in an Earthquake.

        He crosses over her, gun in hand and tells her to open her mouth.

        Placing its barrel between her teeth, he says, “You’re going to shut the fuck up, momma! No one cares around here.” Looking around them, stating, “Do you see? DO YOU!? They only care about their fix, momma.”

        Tasting the sick flavor of oil on her tongue, knowing where this is going, she relents.

        “Oh, I am so gonna take you! I am going to hurt you!” Unbuckling his jeans, panting breathing like an asthmatic, lowering his pelvis toward her.

          ‘No! Lord, For gods sake, don’tletthishappenpleaseno!”

             Thrusting into her dryness, she felt a ripping as if sandpaper had enter her, pain. A pain like nothing she’d ever known. The hurt, anguish. The full throttled running of her blown away mind.

         “Owww, ya, getting’ smoother, momma. Wetter. I feels ya!” he grunts as he pounds her splayed body.

           Thunder vibrating as rain falls from above. Lightening flashes casting blue light around her.

         Cutting her, slamming about her unwilling vagina, feeling his liquid in her as his dick moves in and out. Wanting to throw up and being unable to do so. Lost…


                                              

                                         End of Part One.

Mark William Darus 10152012

 

Authors Note: I met a woman last week that told me a tale about her life. How she had been raped and what she remembered about it. She gave me what she saw, smelled and felt. Who hasn’t known some female that hasn’t been raped? If you were close enough to them at all, hearing what they spoke, cried hysterically and shared. Please share what crossed your mind.

                 This woman's story hit home to me. Well, a past home that is.

She worked for the very same company that I had worked for over ten years and how her capture happened in this companies parking lot. Their very own cameras, so high tech in 2011 to give employees comfort, could not justify her abduction. Well, one paid off ex-employee did speak up when she was terminated. This woman witnessed this and went public.

I'm glad I remember the value of research from when I in college. Talking walks into public record areas, viewing microfilm, hammering away on ancient Smith Corona office typewriters. The Internet makes this so much easier.

Corporate Security Cameras are only there for one purpose: To record employees sharing unhappiness, idle threats toward bosses, massive violent threats to the company or sharing thoughts toward getting a Union inside. These cameras are only there to protect the Company.

I needing to find some place in writing this, I had to find some comfort to level me out. I found this with one of the best choirs I have ever heard. Given to me from my blog friends in Iceland.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDKy-vf0JDc

Sunday, October 14, 2012

In God We Trust by Ryn Cricket


                                               In God We Trust
                                                 by Ryn Cricket
And you have decided that you are some

conservative, NRA card-holding,

xenophobic, homophobic,

misogynistic, chauvinistic,

fearful bully.

                                                 

You pull out bumper-sticker quotes of

Jefferson, Madison, and Paine,

And you don’t even realize that they were

a) Not Christian

b) Out of context

c) Not even their quotes

Read a history book.

ANY history book!

                                                

You argue that the government will take away

your Bible, your rifle, your freedom

–whatever that means to you

but you don’t mind if it takes away

the rights and freedoms of my friends.

                                       

You say, “Speak English!”

Did your great grandfather speak English when he got here?

You say, “Close the doors!”

As if the Statue of Liberty means NOTHING?

You say, “take off that scarf,

they all look like terrorists,

You can’t build here,

you can’t live here…”

“But don’t you dare touch my Bible –I have rights!”

And you know “those guys?”

Well, they’re just unnatural.

That’s just not right.

                                       

Because our God,

The one who hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers

And other “undesirables”

–Did you read that book?

Yeah, OUR God, says it’s wrong.

I know back then

it was all about polygamy, slavery, rape and pillaging

–but that so doesn’t count anymore.

And OUR God was ok with that.

–But two men –well that’s just wrong.

So we need to pass laws to save you

From going to our hell.

And so he would preach Christian family values

The way it used to be (segregated and suppressed)

To ANYONE who would listen –and agree…

But when his little girl wanted to say grace in the restaurant,

“Thank you God…for the grasshopper I saw today…
                                         
                                           

Thank you God…for healing my boo-boo last week…”

He finally interrupted.

“Can you do that later? I’m hungry.”

                                     

by Ryn Cricket 10112012

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Thanks to Shelly: Songs that inspire as I shot photos.

                                               Love thee more dearly.

                                   As i witnessed my best friend renew vows with his woman of 25 years. Seeing them stare into each others eyes lovingly.
                                           
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWQEUzOACm4

                                             Untitled:

              I love as I have so long ago
                      More so each and every day
                              we share

             as death and life greet us as season pass
                      body longing to be held by you
                   to smell you
                         to hear you
                             taste your lips against mine
                                  to be one with my chosen
                       As you took me into you, m'love.

                        I don't want a day without you,

                            MWD....

Why must you stay ahead of me?
 
Title above:
 
Can't you see I love you?
Your legs so longer than mine
must I view your shoulder blades
Endlessly I do this
as you ask why I don't answer
from what you inquire
as i cannot hear you.
 
Can't you take a moment to share with me?
We share to view nature as one
yet you always are ahead of me
 
I've told you my feelings
you say I am weak
unfeeling bastard
Do you hear the nails
as you place them in our coffin
 
Growing further apart with each step further you take
I've placed you on our couch
negated you
 
I was the one you chose over all others
I was the one you stupidly forgot your friends over
Idiot
I will be your downfall
you forgot me.
 
fuck you.
 
MWD 2012
 
Call me Tara.
 
Tara: a poem
Call me a bitch
 
There are so many that fill my tiny head.
Judge me fucker
give it your best shot
there are more of us than you.
 
probe our brain
you merely snagging one of us
as you nail a singular jaw.
Caught Sara we laugh
Bill, history
Cara still fighting
 
Just die, why don't you
we rally around her
getting smaller
you shrink
so tiny
 
I am Tara!
I am legion
Can't you see this?
 
Hard as stone
We will mess you up!
Why can't you see this?
 
MWD2012
 
I took this one when i came to. Shaking stars from eyes, the song that nailed was Chubby Checkers. "As you walk through the hall of mirrors," Harder than Diamonds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhHKvHAK7yo


With a long exposure. I took a second to view the LCD of this,
Confirming my attempt spotting a couple starring at the falls,
As the man and woman lovingly looked into each others eyes, being what I am, I had to ask. What they're chances really?
We all take in so many splendid moments in pairs  to hate each other later on.
Don't get me wrong as I have been here.
 
poem about the photo above:
inspiring song: Annie Lennox;
 
I took you.,
MWD
 
I took you into me
my body
after so many coffees and toy stores
we laughed as one
press of an ear
stupid voices talking
 
buying me drinks
and Misty Menthols
your words
bullshit
me
 
Playing me
sensing my weakness
of nature and things wondrous
I am
pregnant
you stroll away.
 
Behold my wedding veil
I hate you further
my belly grows
Oh yes
I will see you once again
at that time
 
Your blood will flow like a waterfall
Such pale red
Pink
like the worthless man you are.
 
Mark William Darus 20132012
 
 
Colours and leaning flame make this one. About 15 taken  to get this . I did find this pretty though. blow it up and seek the reflections on this one>

                                                
No matter how bad you see your life, there are smiles and laughter if you can just see it. This one was cropped, but her squinting eyes and lips made this real.
 
 
As she looks to my BESTEST friend as she has for over 25 years of marriage, I read her teeth and eyes. The set of tranquil face in her.

                                                  Promise me.
                                                       poem
                                                         MWD


                I took doors from your jeep to stray you
                                 keep you nearer to me
                                          be by myside
                                           we hunt together
                                              as i hunt you.

                                                 by myside
                                wanting you more
                                                    loving you
                                     Not knowing why
                                             Be mine.
                                         Sweetest man
                                              of gentle nature

                                             I have loved you
                                       as you've shared with me
                          
                                   Gasping air in thrusting passion
                                                    Orgasm
                                             as you've shared
                                          02 tubes maintaining life
                                                           Love
                                                 to my bestest friend
                                            Keeping my 'Wilson' alive
                                                you keep him running

                                                  I hope I pass before him.

                                            No woman has ever looked at me
                                                  as you have looked at him
                                                                   ever.

                                              Mark William Darus10132012

Authors Note:  As I wrote this, this song hit me.Rising from a movie I think this to be worthy of listen. Most sad, melancholy, yet hopeful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaQrgy_0SP8
 

Bulb of Voltage:
This was taken during a gathering of poets.
 
The above people gave to me. Greeted me and took me in. Fired my creative nature. .

                                        Singular in nature, hitting bars, getting smashed with inebriated  hopes of finding the one that accepts us. So glad I never hit bars but I think I'm in the minority on this.  With Poets in Tremont, no one gets smashed as they care for one another. How cool is that?
                                     

                                                     To Shelly:

                                You gave this entry a guidance,  >yeah, how cold does that sound coming from a man like me<
                                
                                   Shelly: You are the only one to respond to me.

                                 You gave me the inspiration to give this not only words, photos but songs....
                              I dedicate this entry to you, Shelly.
                            I hope i didn't PHUCK ID Yup!     :>




Authors Note: Well, good morning everyone on our planet. I hope your sunrise, noon sun rising, sunset or moon rising meets takes you in happy arms.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWQEUzOACm4

For your higher powers sake
                 JUST LIVE IN PEACE WITH ONE ANOTHER!

mArK wIlLiAm DaRuS    <c',mon. What could be more human than errors???? 10132012

If you cannot find any beauty in this life as those closest to you show this, then be fucked. Know this though before you blame everyone else: You did this to yourself.




Thursday, October 11, 2012

Walking with Strangers: Do you Walk at All?


                                               
                                      Walking with Strangers.
                         My thoughts as others took me to their lives.
                                         By Mark William Darus

 

Taking a crushed gravel path barely three feet in width to waters edge. Hoping for shots I’ve yet to take of glistening rock and bubbling waters. I soon realized I’d spend more time listening than shooting. When my photos and P:SA hit the net, electrically, others shared viewpoints.

I’ve always been a sociable person, bidding a good day, great night, happy morn to anyone that met my eyes. Taking this to mind, I have always believed: ‘We are all teachers and students to one another. What they express to us we can grow from. The words we speak to them can help, perhaps aide their suffering mind and guide them. Dare I say, help them take stock in what they have to give as they do us? A grand place to be as one feeds another for their quest for being here.

Parasites?

Perhaps. But what can humanity say living in the USA that isn’t parasitic in its very nature?

Living here, we’re all no different than the very prostitutes, well dressed hookers from legal dating services and straight-up crack whores on the street most dismiss and speak down about to others. Yeah, that statement might cause some of you to gasp and say otherwise. Fine if you do so, I frankly don’t care. Who amongst us, at least here in the United States isn’t selling themselves in one way, shape or form? Do most of us not value our time for dollars and salaries, benefits? Don’t we value benefits and vacation time?

Can one of you tell the difference between any of us here and the life of a whore? Is it Christianity, Judaism, Buddha, Islam, or a host of other organized beliefs or some moral sense of being that states this is horribly wrong?

Here goes: The hooker sucks into them what others have to give for payment. They do this minutes at a shot over the course of their day. Most people spend many hours a day taking in the bullshit that hurts their spirit, feelings and take the advice of others to sooth them, no different than a whore, proclaiming: Suck it up!



Since July 2012 I’ve gone on a great many treading into nature and industrial landscapes paths. These are a few things people shared with me.

Shooting Arcelor Mittal Cleveland Steel Works, I had a woman approach me about a mile from Steelyard Commons. I was standing in knee-high weeds and poison ivy wearing shorts and sandaled feet. She was dressed in the tiniest of shorts that did not cover dark pubic hair running down her inner thighs and a hot-pink tube covering her breasts. Noticing bonelike fingers placed soundly on her hips, their nails chipping hues that once matched her skimpy top, being a Hood-Rat, I knew where this would go.

“Hey, Hon. Want to take a roll in the grass?”

“This ain’t grass, darlin’. This is weeds and nasty Ivy. You want to risk that?” My stomach began to violently churn about. Tied in knots only experienced briefly when kicked in the nuts.

“Oh yeah, babeeeeee! Let’s fuck!”

“Nah, I’m busy, sweetpea,”

“You cop?!?”

Beginning to stare away from her, grinning sickly, I said, “would a cop do this?” I then turned my back from her while cocking my head so she could see. I placed my hands below my belly, just under my waste line. I made a few gasps, body beginning to writhe about, I blew bodily fluid from me.

“Damn Taco Bell to hell!” I said as I puked my stomach to weeds and other things. I would have doubled over and fell if she hadn’t taken me into her arms from behind me, hands across my chest.

“Y’ain’t Jones’ng baby. I know this. No addict talks like you. D’ats fo-show.” she spoke behind me as she went into ghetto-speak.

Thinking as I do , ‘okay, gonna upchuck in front of a stranger. How cool is that???’

I asked her to release me so I could hit the Earth on my knees and finish my guts desire. She did, but I did feel her hands take the small of my waist, maintaining contact. I heard the rens of the mills overhead cranes and trains bay sincere warnings to others they’d cross. Smelling July foliage, coke gas and my very own puke, my odd mind thought, ‘who is this woman that holds me?”

Turning to her, my beard covered with spent burritos, refried beans and whitish froth, eyes watering. She reached into her backpack and pulled out a roll of Scott Towels half wides. Still on knees, she crouched toward me, her green eyes boring into mine. So gently she wiped my face, clearing it.

Sirens of the mills overhead cranes and trains bay sincere warnings to others they’d cross. Smelling July foliage, coke gas and my very own puke, my odd mind thought, ‘who is this woman that holds me?”

“Let me do this,” she quietly said to me, reaching into her backpack once again. She pulled out a bottle of Aramis cologne.



“No! Sorry! You wouldn’t happen to carry the Jenn Aniston fragrance, would you?” I am such an ass. I could smell like a man all the time, but I do like Jen’s Perfume. I have never smelled this scent on any human that had any interest in me whatsoever.

Recoiling, leaning tiny well shaped ass to the backs of her heels, smiling, she puts her right hand into the pink and black backpack now nestled in the weeds and such.

I have no idea why, but this woman so many would label an insignificant whore, begins to cry. So emaciated is she, so svelte, so very fragile. Her skeletal right hand pulls the smell of my wanting.

“Should I shoot this above us?”

“yes, Please do so,” I say as I place my hands on her hips as I rise to meet her fully.

She sprayed Jen above us. So delightfully sweet, the smell of light flowers amongst that of barf, weeds and the many foul men she’d know this day.

“Day by Day,” I threw out there to her as she yanked me closer.

“Three things I pray,” her eyes, face brightening, lips curling happily. She began to clap her hands.

“Day by day, oh dear lord, three things I pray…” I respond.

Violently, tossing her dirty hair backward, seagulls screeching and mixtures of perfume, weeds and upchuck fill the air, they begin to sing together.

“To see more clearly…” we sing in time with one another, bodies connected. I have her hips met with mine as our chests lightly touch. Our spit hits each others face. Cherishing this moment in time, I take her saliva into my mouth as she does mine.

“Day by Day!” Clapping in rhythm we sing. Godspell.



WHOOOOOOUP WOOOOOOOOUP!

She and I look over our shoulders and find a Cleveland Police car and two cops looking at us. Standing tall in their blues as the sun strolls to the West, winding this another chronicle for their hooker diaries, they asked: “Stand at attention, please.” a rookie asks.

“What are you doing?” the senior Cop inquires.

Her and I, both fully dressed, take each others hands as we rose facing them. My eyes and hers never strayed from each other. I saw so many brake lights splash as their drivers the red and blues with my peripheral vision.

She cocked her head to me as she said, “That’s what dreams are made of….”

Following her lead as she did mine. I screamed, “ WE BELONG IN A WORLD WHERE ALL MUST BE STRONG, THAT ‘S WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF!”

“AND IN THE END, WE WILL DEFEND , CUZ THAT’S WHAT LOVE IS MADE OF,” Her voice hitting the brilliance of that of an opera singer.

We sang Van Halen as we did GodSpell. Smiles, bodies and eyes never leaving each others as the cops dismissed up as they didn’t want to deal with the paperwork.

“So baby dry your eyes, and all the tears you’ve cried,”

 

Twin Black and White Challengers heading down the road away from her and I, their v-8 exhaust growling as it goes away like an unwanted bee getting quiet.

Catching her eye in mine, we begin to laugh. In my life, so seldom do I encounter such locking. Allowing them to be the deer in your headlights.

We undressed each other in tall grass and weeds. We embraced. We did not make love or have sex. We did stare at each others forms.

“Visions of an empty room,” we whispered to each other.

“Just spread your broken wings, we’ll get higher and higher….”

Who knows what any of us will find……..

I pulled her naked body to mine. Her thighs and hips sparking blue arcs with their connecting as they touched me. Drawing back, her standing nipples dancing across my chest, we rose and stood in RA’s clear fading light.

She says: “If I could love-”

“I know you do or would if you could.” I conclude

“You are?” her voice nearly choking, face contorting.

“I am no different than you,” I say to her as I lift her face to look and seek sky.

We sing Day by Day for nearly 90 minutes til her phone calls to  her. Another client desiring her attention.

               We part

             She may be a whore.

                I am no stranger in my walk than Hers.  Hers is cap'd because she has earned  my respect.
               This entry goes...

                    i talk to her from time to time. We embrace and kiss.

                               I Walk with Strangers. Do you walk at all?
               
                                    Mark William Darus 10112012