I recieved my first email about this BLOG.
Thanks, Abigail for your thoughts and words and look forward to more of the same. I posted your story, thus far and left 'other' observations out for now. I know you somehow understand why I did this. I took to liberty of changing that 'ex's name' to John. With head bent in respect, i hope you can appreciate this.
Abigails Story, part I:
Mark, the Blog would not take comments, hence the reason for this email. Love your Blog.
I am a forty-three year old woman with a fairly normal background and upbringing. I studied architectural drawing in college and minored in psychology. I’ve had several major jobs in the lifetime and climbed through the ranks with little or no effort on my part.
Like you, I began reading psych books at a young age and went after them with an almost primordial hunger. I remember thinking: hmmmm, what makes people tick? What makes them act the way they do when they do? What makes one laugh at a car accident and others cry, scream or just walk past it as if nothing had ever happened.
I guess I began being a psychopath when I 14. My Grandmother had passed away and I felt such enormous feelings of loss and hate and dread. My parents were okay enough, but they were dealing with their own sense of loss and somehow didn’t seem to notice me and my older brothers sense of loss. My brothers went outward with their feelings, playing football with their friends and tackling some just a bit to hard, landing one of their friends in the hospital with busted ribs. I went inward, shutting myself off from all my friends and virtually everyone else. I think it was in this, the pain of losing the most cherished person in my life, that I systematically destroyed my emotions.
I destroyed them with a methodical sense of reasoning: Never get that close to anyone again. Never let sadness hurt so much that it can strip us from ourselves. Happiness always equals pain at some point. Being human sucks, so let’s no longer have our mind be amongst theirs.
A few years later, when a friend of mine died from a car accident, I tried to feel, feel anything, and then I heard this ‘SNAP’ go off in my head at her funeral. I then comforted mutual friends, her family and her boyfriend who’d been drunk and caused the accident. It was as if I could SEE myself do these things. Give the proper expressions of face and a perfect balance of words and their tones. I saw their faces twisting, body language, tears, heard their cries and continual sobbing and my mind began recording these things, storing them into memory. Future reference material, perhaps, but I learned and learned quite fast. I asked a total stranger if I could borrow their car to get a pack of smokes. This guy must’ve been close to her because he reached into his pocket and gave me his keys. Well, I didn’t smoke at that time and wanted to see if I could get away with it. I did.
At 17, I was fairly attractive and had no problem getting dates. What I couldn’t stand were these supposedly ’normal’ guys always wanting to fuck me on the first or second date. Oh yeah, like a trip to Dennys should give you the right to enter my body? So I wondered, what could I get out of these sad, though highly horny little bastards? As it turned out, I could get a great deal.
I wanted a new stereo for my bedroom, so on a second date with a guy named John we stopped by an appliance store that had good sound equipment. I was 18 then and he was 24. John had a stable job. He also had a wife and two kids. We walked through the stereo area and all I had to do was look at the one I wanted, give out this little escape of air-noise and look down at my shoes and make my face change like those that cannot afford something that they REALLY want. I said “oh well, “ and started walking down the aisle. He grabbed my arm and said something like: ‘you relly want that one, don’t you?” I gave him this innocent girl pouty-faced look as I slowly adjusted my bra, my eyes met his as they darted from my chest to meet mine. I smiled and said; ‘no, I can’t let you buy me that. Sorry, John, I just don’t know you that well for such a gift…” While I said that, I slowly moved toward him, getting close enough to feel the bulge in his faded black corduroys, smelling him, his desire for me. In a mere matter of days, I’d smell his fear of me.
I got the stereo that same night and my brothers helped me hook it up. I’m not so good at launching rockets or placing them on their pads, but I am great at blowing them up.
On the third date with John, we went to Mountain Jacks and had a great meal. It was then he suggested we go to a motel for some ‘private time’. I gave a laugh, asking him if he had said: “privates time’? and his face flushed red as a fire engine. “well, I just thoughr…”
I told it was too soon for me and he said he understood.
On our fourth date, I made sure we went to a mall not far from my home. I’d seen anger and rage in other people and had a pretty good handle on how the vocal sounds should be with the accompanying body language, the set of the eyes, baring of the teeth. I was ready to chuck this poor sad bastard. I told him to meet me at the food court at a set time.
In the middle of a full shopping mall food court, I let it rip.
He said hi and went to kiss me.
“Don’t even try to kiss me you fucking dickhead!”
He lost footing and almost fell over. “whuuu’what?” Mind recorder running, I taped him as he tripped over his own words like the fool I knew he was from the start. (the sounds one makes when they are broadsided by the unexpected, desperately reaching for words, thoughts but are unable to grasp them.)
Not giving him a chance to get his footing: “WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING ME YOU WERE MARRIED? WHAT KIND OF WOMAN DO YOU TAKE ME FOR???” Making quite the scene, he split in mere seconds, but just before he ran, I told him in a flat calm voice with cold eyes staring at him, almost like a whisper, ’I AM going to tell your wife.”
Mark, you probably know damn well how I hooked up with him. I was behind him at a grocery store and he was talking to some friend on a cellphone about how his wife didn’t flirt with him anymore and how bored he was. ’having two kids shouldn’t make ya a fuckin’ nun, right?” As he was paying for his groceries, I strategically dropped a few items by missing the belt and bent over to get them. Being busty, I knew he’d look and offer to help. It was then I gave him
‘The Glance’ that always hooked men regardless of where we were. I smiled as he offered to help me, and I suggested that maybe he’d be so kind as to walk me to my car to prevent other such mishaps. He agreed and as I filled my trunk, I let him kiss me. HOOKED! And I even had the exit stragity calculated from the conversation with his friend.
Mark, (social-sniper) I will send you more later on as I am off this weekend.
Takes one to KNOW one,
Abigail
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Chptr 1 Child Psychopaths.
Chapter 1: Child Psychopaths. What makes one child commit suicide versus one commit homicide?
This goes back to an area in the world of Psychology that has neither proof nor absolutes. These professionals would try to corner any of those areas with their aspects into pigeon holed groups, (subdivisions), that would profoundly state their point as “near-fact’, or better yet, give you formulas and numbers that only the most devote could possibly understand. Kind of makes you think: “if we can’t baffle them with brilliance, let’s baffle them with bullshit”.
I can only give you this, with no facts, no profound conclusions, nothing of any proof one way or another except this: I do NOT base my findings on any study, examination, except those thoughts from those people that have told me life-stories and experiences over their lives. Frankly, I think most in the Psychological community have diluted themselves into ‘based on’ thoughts that they have forgotten the base premise of Psychology. A single persons theory without background, yet a willingness to prove said theory, and have it placed into a book about a human condition they have observed.
I can only say this: These things written are my thoughts and observations based on both my and others life-works. There are NO
FACTs in anything I write. This IS Psychology, (a study of the human mind/animal mind) and for that, fact is merely on whichever side of the fence you choose to saddle.
In the words of the Ramones: Hey, Ho, let’s go!
The Psychological world seems totally at opposite camps whether Psychopathic behavior in children is either genetic or something that is learned over time. They argue and state factors supporting their views, giving countless variables for each situation, going backwards to observations that were never proven, or better yet, remotely of a nature to explain why one child kills themselves versus one that, for very similar reasons, chooses to kill the kids of the school to get even and balance their mental books.
Keep this in mind: these same camps at some point love the works of Freud and other decades hate him. When dealing with the mind and thought processes the best we can hope for is mediocrity in the noblest sense of the word. There are NO constants. One plus one does NOT equal two, and to those on the fringes, not every day is a new beginning.
Let’s stroll into the depths that so many children think developing. Granted, some have been beaten and abused by either the parents, the ’sneaky uncle/aunt/, bullies, or just some fate of circumstance by a loved one dying young, or a case of childhood ups and downs that they no longer wish “to feel’. Some, mostly that of female children, felt slighted by peers by being overweight, less athletic, or just homely. Both male and female have one sense: abandonment from either their peers, parents or their world in general as THEY see it.
How we, as rational thinking adults, see their world and the opportunities it brings means nothing to them. At their ages, they cannot see the world as we see it, and this is where counseling and Psychotherapeutic community need to remember life before they got so learned and highly educated. \
HEY-HO, LET’S GO!
Child Psychopaths are, in my opinion, not genetic in nature. They learned at some point to kill emotions either by the pain of being abused, or just a way to cope from negativity when expressing their emotions to either counselors or parents, which the power giving those in their lives, gave their feelings the blanket response that what they feel is wrong and not appropriate. Basically, a, ‘sorry, but you shouldn’t feel that way….” To that child, they do not care why they shouldn’t feel that way, or why it is inappropriate, or why it is self destructive, they simply wish to be heard and to have their feelings addressed. So often this fails at some juncture, that they either kill or waste themselves.
Why would a child kill themselves when there is so much help out there? They do this because that ‘help’ fails to reach at the childs base-core, failing to discover this childs heart-of-hearts in the childs language to pull them out of a doves screaming Earthward dive, which to the child, means everything. Either to themselves or bring harm to others.
Either kill oneself to end this pain, or kill many to be heard. At that point, what makes the difference appears to be upbringing and educational awareness. Those children with the ups/downs fall back unto either being either nonviolent Psychopaths with upbringing and some sum of understanding, though feeling nothing or those that which chuck all feeling from being repeatedly abused, chuck all and wish for death fulfillment by killing others to feel at ease, “you all hurt me, so I am going explode on all of you for minimizing me.” Suicide vs. homicide being based on some base awareness in that child to either Implode or Explode. Implode being the total act of self-absorption (suicide) or that of explosion, (killing others) screaming one final attempt to be heard, giving them a life of imprisonment, or like Columbine, a wasting of themselves before being caught, to still be heard as a mere afterthought.
These acts of homicidal mania get so well spent on speculation based on media exposure to rock and roll, Goth music or the fact that the last song found on an 8-track, cassette or CD in the childs room being Lynyrd Skynrds Freebird. “they must’ve listened to “that song” til it drove them nuts,” is a good spin. This takes away any missed responsibility that both the parent and the school had for missing the ‘something’ that made this child do the things they did. Gives them some ‘comfort’ point to fallback on. Makes sense though as most wish to cover their ass in the face of things they had overlooked and simply blown off, to look good and loving parents in the face of mass media over a horribly tragic event. God forbade them say the truth, that they missed something and human-esque fucked up.
School systems get so blamed for events of the homicidal child. Sorry, I cannot blame them as their coffers shrink with the piss poor economics structure which is based more on an athlete that only gets paid 10 million and not 15 million or he’ll bolt to some other team. (OH MY FUCKING GOD, HE MIGHT TAKE HIS FOOTBALL, BASEBALL, BASKETBALL AND GO HOME LIKE SOME BABY!!!!)
Maybe we, as a society have become so cold, money-based, so self centered we have forgotten our children in this process and outsource responsibilities for our children ( and the children of our society for those who pay taxes yet have no children) that we have forgotten a simple fact. These children are our future either through voting, taking technology over their parents health versus the “NEW-UPCOMING Ipod 17 dot O! “ What have we, versus the media taught children? Sorry, but most of us make less than the ‘baller’ we praise through professional sports, yet cry out in mass forms about an outrage over some managerial decision to go for a 5 million dollar player over a 10 million dollar player. And the average daycare worker makes minimum wage and they care for our children so we can work. Yes, we of the enlightened United States have it so correctly, fuck the minimum wage earner, but cry out over the overpaid sports nut whom only looks out after themselves for playing a game?
Think about the things I have said tonight, I hope they pissed you off enough to rethink some priorities in your life as they relate to matters of what our children see and the importance we place on what we display as important. Most tell out children through our actions: 15 million is better than 10 million, as the child thinks, “ I don’t make anything, so I must be less-than-zero.”
This goes back to an area in the world of Psychology that has neither proof nor absolutes. These professionals would try to corner any of those areas with their aspects into pigeon holed groups, (subdivisions), that would profoundly state their point as “near-fact’, or better yet, give you formulas and numbers that only the most devote could possibly understand. Kind of makes you think: “if we can’t baffle them with brilliance, let’s baffle them with bullshit”.
I can only give you this, with no facts, no profound conclusions, nothing of any proof one way or another except this: I do NOT base my findings on any study, examination, except those thoughts from those people that have told me life-stories and experiences over their lives. Frankly, I think most in the Psychological community have diluted themselves into ‘based on’ thoughts that they have forgotten the base premise of Psychology. A single persons theory without background, yet a willingness to prove said theory, and have it placed into a book about a human condition they have observed.
I can only say this: These things written are my thoughts and observations based on both my and others life-works. There are NO
FACTs in anything I write. This IS Psychology, (a study of the human mind/animal mind) and for that, fact is merely on whichever side of the fence you choose to saddle.
In the words of the Ramones: Hey, Ho, let’s go!
The Psychological world seems totally at opposite camps whether Psychopathic behavior in children is either genetic or something that is learned over time. They argue and state factors supporting their views, giving countless variables for each situation, going backwards to observations that were never proven, or better yet, remotely of a nature to explain why one child kills themselves versus one that, for very similar reasons, chooses to kill the kids of the school to get even and balance their mental books.
Keep this in mind: these same camps at some point love the works of Freud and other decades hate him. When dealing with the mind and thought processes the best we can hope for is mediocrity in the noblest sense of the word. There are NO constants. One plus one does NOT equal two, and to those on the fringes, not every day is a new beginning.
Let’s stroll into the depths that so many children think developing. Granted, some have been beaten and abused by either the parents, the ’sneaky uncle/aunt/, bullies, or just some fate of circumstance by a loved one dying young, or a case of childhood ups and downs that they no longer wish “to feel’. Some, mostly that of female children, felt slighted by peers by being overweight, less athletic, or just homely. Both male and female have one sense: abandonment from either their peers, parents or their world in general as THEY see it.
How we, as rational thinking adults, see their world and the opportunities it brings means nothing to them. At their ages, they cannot see the world as we see it, and this is where counseling and Psychotherapeutic community need to remember life before they got so learned and highly educated. \
HEY-HO, LET’S GO!
Child Psychopaths are, in my opinion, not genetic in nature. They learned at some point to kill emotions either by the pain of being abused, or just a way to cope from negativity when expressing their emotions to either counselors or parents, which the power giving those in their lives, gave their feelings the blanket response that what they feel is wrong and not appropriate. Basically, a, ‘sorry, but you shouldn’t feel that way….” To that child, they do not care why they shouldn’t feel that way, or why it is inappropriate, or why it is self destructive, they simply wish to be heard and to have their feelings addressed. So often this fails at some juncture, that they either kill or waste themselves.
Why would a child kill themselves when there is so much help out there? They do this because that ‘help’ fails to reach at the childs base-core, failing to discover this childs heart-of-hearts in the childs language to pull them out of a doves screaming Earthward dive, which to the child, means everything. Either to themselves or bring harm to others.
Either kill oneself to end this pain, or kill many to be heard. At that point, what makes the difference appears to be upbringing and educational awareness. Those children with the ups/downs fall back unto either being either nonviolent Psychopaths with upbringing and some sum of understanding, though feeling nothing or those that which chuck all feeling from being repeatedly abused, chuck all and wish for death fulfillment by killing others to feel at ease, “you all hurt me, so I am going explode on all of you for minimizing me.” Suicide vs. homicide being based on some base awareness in that child to either Implode or Explode. Implode being the total act of self-absorption (suicide) or that of explosion, (killing others) screaming one final attempt to be heard, giving them a life of imprisonment, or like Columbine, a wasting of themselves before being caught, to still be heard as a mere afterthought.
These acts of homicidal mania get so well spent on speculation based on media exposure to rock and roll, Goth music or the fact that the last song found on an 8-track, cassette or CD in the childs room being Lynyrd Skynrds Freebird. “they must’ve listened to “that song” til it drove them nuts,” is a good spin. This takes away any missed responsibility that both the parent and the school had for missing the ‘something’ that made this child do the things they did. Gives them some ‘comfort’ point to fallback on. Makes sense though as most wish to cover their ass in the face of things they had overlooked and simply blown off, to look good and loving parents in the face of mass media over a horribly tragic event. God forbade them say the truth, that they missed something and human-esque fucked up.
School systems get so blamed for events of the homicidal child. Sorry, I cannot blame them as their coffers shrink with the piss poor economics structure which is based more on an athlete that only gets paid 10 million and not 15 million or he’ll bolt to some other team. (OH MY FUCKING GOD, HE MIGHT TAKE HIS FOOTBALL, BASEBALL, BASKETBALL AND GO HOME LIKE SOME BABY!!!!)
Maybe we, as a society have become so cold, money-based, so self centered we have forgotten our children in this process and outsource responsibilities for our children ( and the children of our society for those who pay taxes yet have no children) that we have forgotten a simple fact. These children are our future either through voting, taking technology over their parents health versus the “NEW-UPCOMING Ipod 17 dot O! “ What have we, versus the media taught children? Sorry, but most of us make less than the ‘baller’ we praise through professional sports, yet cry out in mass forms about an outrage over some managerial decision to go for a 5 million dollar player over a 10 million dollar player. And the average daycare worker makes minimum wage and they care for our children so we can work. Yes, we of the enlightened United States have it so correctly, fuck the minimum wage earner, but cry out over the overpaid sports nut whom only looks out after themselves for playing a game?
Think about the things I have said tonight, I hope they pissed you off enough to rethink some priorities in your life as they relate to matters of what our children see and the importance we place on what we display as important. Most tell out children through our actions: 15 million is better than 10 million, as the child thinks, “ I don’t make anything, so I must be less-than-zero.”
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Beginning
Let's begin this with a few definitions, shall we.
pred·a·tor
[pred-uh-ter, -tawr] Show IPA
noun
2.
a predatory person.
prey
[prey] Show IPA
noun
1.
an animal hunted or seized for food, especially by a carnivorous animal.
2.
a person or thing that is the victim of an enemy, a swindler, a disease, etc.; gull.
3.
the action or habit of preying: a beast of prey.
4.
Archaic . booty or plunder.
verb (used without object)
5.
to seize and devour prey, as an animal does (usually followed by on or upon ): Foxes prey on rabbits.
6.
to make raids or attacks for booty or plunder: The Vikings preyed on coastal settlements.
7.
to exert a harmful or destructive influence: His worries preyed upon his mind.
8.
to victimize another or others (usually followed by on or upon ): loan sharks that prey upon the poor.
Let's go into the world of the nonviolent Psychopaths that walk this world amongst you. Some of these declarations might surprise you as most peoples views on Psychos too often spin into the realm of the sensational, mass murderers, serial killers and their like. Hitler, Jim Jones and the soon to be church as Westboro Baptist Church descends on Chardon Ohio
http://m.examiner.com/volunteerism-in-cleveland/westboro-baptist-church-members-threatening-to-protest-chardon-funeral
Personally, these bastards take Psychopathy as an almost communal event calling out for witch hunts and the mass slayings of those that oppose them. In the name of GOD? Go ahead and laugh, Christ knows, I did. I Personally, I hope my god is not the same as theirs. If it were so, I'd gladly go the hell. I can say this easily, as i have no feeling, Period. Sorry, but the Chardon slayings made me feel nothing and the Amish slayings in a school that killed 5 Amish kids )below like age 10) made me little less than outrage. I may feel nothing, but this does not mean i do not know the difference between right and wrong. At some point, descending into Psychopathy becomes a choice in the nonviolent Psychopath. We killed our emotional make-up, we did this by choice, to never feel hurt again, or to simply wish to be comfortably numb without booze or pills. Psychopaths are made, and not created by some genetic imbalance like other psychological disorders occur due to first tri-mester problems, genetics or an abuse on the mothers part from heroin, crack or other drugs. Keep this in mind: Both the nonviolent and extravagant Psychopaths have one thing in common. They both will use you, take you into a world you think is magical/whimsical in the process. They will steal your energy, perhaps your very life, and you will smile all the way til the end. Your end.
Take Hitler into consideration. He wasn't even German, Yet he used the German people to rise to power. He had thugs he met in prison, got them behind him (his power to manipulate and bend others of lesser mindset) made his ferocity more prevalent. Through sheer audacity and muscle, he rose to power, and what did he do the thank those that helped him reach the Chancellorship? He killed them mercilessly. (or, in the words of David Bowie: owwww WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM...) I do take some humor in the decline of the Nazi's. As Hitler started killing off his higher ups due to treason or other imagined slights, they plotted to kill him. Even Field Marschell Erwin Rommel tried, amongst others, to have him wasted. Either bad planning, poor quality TNT, or simply Gods will with a sense of humor, failed. And those responsible split the scene like cockroaches on a white tiled floor when the lights come on.
And he was surrounded by those that were both nuts and had mates that were the same, His final followers were both sadistic and mass killers. Sure, most of them had a cop-out, that anyone with a militaristic view would say as: We just followed Orders, sir! Sure, we can think of an auto worker in parma that tried this and failed countless decades, but hey! We got the scientists that built the V-1's and V-2's that rained mass destruction on England. We gave them jobs, (when I say 'we', i mean the American People at that time) cuddled them and gave them plush far beyond what they knew with the Reich, Not to mention this: it was a far cry than what the Russians would have given them.
What's my point thus far? We embrace Psychopaths as a people as they benefit us as a people or a nation. C'mon, you mean to tell me if you make a bomb or a missile to kill thousands, you're not a psychopath? Did you not coldly calculate the trajectories, payloads, probable kill-count? Okay, we should applaud some that reach some level of mass killings as it benefits us as a people.Right?
Now, onto something decidedly differant. I am known for switching gears in mid-progress...
Let's go into the world of the nonviolent Psychopaths that walk this world amongst you. Some of these declarations might surprise you as most peoples views on Psychos too often spin into the realm of the sensational, mass murderers, serial killers and their like. Hitler, Jim Jones and the soon to be church as Westboro Baptist Church descends on Chardon Ohio
http://m.examiner.com/volunteerism-in-cleveland/westboro-baptist-church-members-threatening-to-protest-chardon-funeral
Personally, these bastards take Psychopathy as an almost communal event calling out for witch hunts and the mass slayings of those that oppose them. In the name of GOD? Go ahead and laugh, Christ knows, I did. I Personally, I hope my god is not the same as theirs. If it were so, I'd gladly go the hell. I can say this easily, as i have no feeling, Period. Sorry, but the Chardon slayings made me feel nothing and the Amish slayings in a school that killed 5 Amish kids )below like age 10) made me little less than outrage. I may feel nothing, but this does not mean i do not know the difference between right and wrong. At some point, descending into Psychopathy becomes a choice in the nonviolent Psychopath. We killed our emotional make-up, we did this by choice, to never feel hurt again, or to simply wish to be comfortably numb without booze or pills. Psychopaths are made, and not created by some genetic imbalance like other psychological disorders occur due to first tri-mester problems, genetics or an abuse on the mothers part from heroin, crack or other drugs. Keep this in mind: Both the nonviolent and extravagant Psychopaths have one thing in common. They both will use you, take you into a world you think is magical/whimsical in the process. They will steal your energy, perhaps your very life, and you will smile all the way til the end. Your end.
Take Hitler into consideration. He wasn't even German, Yet he used the German people to rise to power. He had thugs he met in prison, got them behind him (his power to manipulate and bend others of lesser mindset) made his ferocity more prevalent. Through sheer audacity and muscle, he rose to power, and what did he do the thank those that helped him reach the Chancellorship? He killed them mercilessly. (or, in the words of David Bowie: owwww WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM...) I do take some humor in the decline of the Nazi's. As Hitler started killing off his higher ups due to treason or other imagined slights, they plotted to kill him. Even Field Marschell Erwin Rommel tried, amongst others, to have him wasted. Either bad planning, poor quality TNT, or simply Gods will with a sense of humor, failed. And those responsible split the scene like cockroaches on a white tiled floor when the lights come on.
And he was surrounded by those that were both nuts and had mates that were the same, His final followers were both sadistic and mass killers. Sure, most of them had a cop-out, that anyone with a militaristic view would say as: We just followed Orders, sir! Sure, we can think of an auto worker in parma that tried this and failed countless decades, but hey! We got the scientists that built the V-1's and V-2's that rained mass destruction on England. We gave them jobs, (when I say 'we', i mean the American People at that time) cuddled them and gave them plush far beyond what they knew with the Reich, Not to mention this: it was a far cry than what the Russians would have given them.
What's my point thus far? We embrace Psychopaths as a people as they benefit us as a people or a nation. C'mon, you mean to tell me if you make a bomb or a missile to kill thousands, you're not a psychopath? Did you not coldly calculate the trajectories, payloads, probable kill-count? Okay, we should applaud some that reach some level of mass killings as it benefits us as a people.Right?
Now, onto something decidedly differant. I am known for switching gears in mid-progress...
Psychopaths are said to go after their prey with a predatory zeal. They control, feed upon, use another through a series of manipulations and tactics to attain whatever their goal is. They do this without feeling or emotion, They will use every trick in their arsenal and use them on whomever can aid them in achieving it. They will then cast off their prey when they've finished eating, (using them), much the same as one may flush a spent piece of toilet paper down the john. Take no prisoners, the weak shall perish, eat or be eaten, or as a Big Dog t-shirt once read: Lead, follow, or just get out of my way, they feel nothing toward their victim as they feel them almost a species beneath them. No guilt, remorse
I can only ask this question: What makes them any different than a man that goes after woman, ego a'blazing, for the sole purpose of using them for sex or the Corporate flunky, climbing to the top of the company food-chain? Both use very similar tactics to reach their goals, The corp exec, often to be found saying: "I did whatever I had to do the reach the top!" They do this without emotion, coldly calculating their moves and placing all pieces on a chessboard that their opponent has no chance of winning after careful examination of reading their victims weaknesses and exploiting them to their fullest advantage.
This a Journey into the realm of the nonviolent Psychopath. They utterly trash lives in the wake of their wanten acceleration. Be it for sex, money, control or some form of large scale recognition, they will use anyone, in any number of ways, and sadly, make the used feel like they helped them and that someday the debt will be repaid in kind. With a Psychopath, their is no such thing as debt.
Later, we will go into the makings of a Psychopath. Let me say this. Why do I always capitalize the word/title Psychopath? Well, they make up over 4% of our population which puts them a higher number than some smaller Tribes that still inhabit our planet. Based on that simple thought, it only seems fair to do so.
In some cases, the nonviolent Psychopath almost deserve the respect of those beneath them. With little doubt, it was this cold-heated, self-righteous attitude that built the United States into being a Super Power in less than a 175 years of its existence. The early Captains of Industry had the kind of take-no-prisoners attitude to merely make themselves richer, using, manipulating all those under them and making the used feel good about being used. How? Before Unions graced our lands, people slaved 80 hours week for next to no money without health insurance and they did this because "the Big Boss' might give them a turkey for Thanksgiving or say a kind word or two or a pat on the back for all the good they did, (giving the dog a bone.)
Let us begin,
-Mark William Darus
Let us begin,
-Mark William Darus
Mission Statement: brief introduction.
I start this on 03/03/012.
Perhaps it was the 150mg of Lamictal (for bipolar) that leveled me out enough to be able to concentrate long enough to think clearly. I found the ability to read again, and far more importantly, to write again.
What got me so interested in Psychopaths? Sorry, everyone must draw their own conclusions as they see fit. It may have had something to do with the Chardon, Ohio school shootings that happened that week. It may have been the Amish school shootings that took place a few years ago or even Columbine.
I became curious as to why these kids went on killing sprees. Let's be serious here; there have always been bullies and cliques that messed with the outcasts. Hell, they had them when I was a kid and none of us plotted, weaponed-up and performed a massacre. We had the weapons, mind you, but something was different. We had Heavy Metal music and preachers yodeling how bands like Black Sabbath, Judas Priest and Deep Purple would fuck up our brains, make us do drugs and end up in hell.
We were different than the societal norms at that time: male kids had long hair, girls cut their hair short, and god forbid, some even got their ears pierced. We did our share of blowing things up. Be it a model car, stuffed animals, a rubber frog (like The Ghoul used to do on tv) and even picnic tables were fair game for a blastfest.
Never once, regardless how bullied we were, ever considered wasting people for their wrongs to us. I even had a friend when I was twelve get blown in half by a guy with a shotgun. The shooter was 23 and became jealous when my friend befriended his girl. She was 15. We simply didn't wish to kill anyone and a fear of hell didn't even play into that.
And so it goes...
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
My Manifesto: Mission Statement: Pink Floyd Division Belll
Call this my mission statement: My manifesto:
I am:
Not a college degree person in either psychology or counseling.
Good at both the above on a person to person basis: unconditionally, without prejudice, gaining nothing financial, and making no judgment on the person telling me their concerns.
Helping to those, finding places, associations, connections, to aide them. Be it either curiosity or sheer wits-end desperation, both are equal to me as the one needing assistance is my prime concern.
A fool where personal regards are concerned. Through Psych-meds and blood pressure pills I appear to be getting better. Make your own conclusions on this one.
Emotionless: I did nail a 297 bowling last Thursday and did not have trembling knees, shaky nerves and such. I guess I was numb to some extent. To me: that is okay. always has been. I shot a 265 Monday in practice with a 238 and a 172. Again: emotionless.
(not part of my Manifesto)
<When in true need of truthful response, wouldn't you truly rather have the thoughts and mind of one that tells you their truth as you ask for help or guidance? This can only be done absent emotions. Emotions cloud what we would say or ask of those seeking help with what concerns them. Those with emotions hold back more often than not, not wishing to inflict more pain and suffering to the friend/ family member before them in dire need. Subjective family/friends hold back. Objective friends and family do not. To me, it is that cut-and-dried. And I never give anything less. Sure, call me a bastard, fucker and what you will. I have always been this way and am tired of hiding.>
back to the 'I am' part:
I AM:
One that will take the time and listen and read what you have to say. Post what you wish and email you help if given locations, ie, zip codes and general whereabouts.
One, that if given those 'general areas where you live' will find resources that may help you.
One that will respect your right to remain anonymous regardless of what you say and what you send me. Call it journalistic integrity, I simply call it loyalty to anyone that opens their mouth, shares their thoughts hopes and fears to me. Is this not the what many religions call unconditional love and what the atheists proclaim as seeking truth? So more often than not, it is the story one shares and not its dissected origins that matter.
One that believes we are not all created equal.
(If we were, explain this to me: There are many with Aspersers syndrome, autism, MS, ADD< ADHD, ALZ (Alzheimer's), Lou Gehrig's disease, DYEBEETUZ - intentional misspelling for the benefit of the one. Syphilis from birth, Crack withdrawal at birth, SZ and the host other ailments created from simply being born from that which creted you.
Sidenote here:
The weak, disabled, the dying or our parents we so readily plant to the Death Farms when we no longer wish to take care of those that gave us so much from birth:. <the Death Farms term is one I created when explaining to a friend what Hospice, Assisted living facilities and old age homes translate to most Americans. Unlike most other countries, we Americans do not wish to be burdened by failing and fragile parents: If Medicaid and Benefits can work, we will so deal with our dying parents on a two to three hours a week basis. The least we can do, right, fellow Americans?
Hell, haven't we created an industry for Death Farms? One that makes a few billion dollars a year? :sidenote ends.
I AM:
One that thinks the single purpose of humanity is to kill itself. Seriously, look at the history of mankind. When haven't we constantly tried to waste each other over religion, ideology, or when some United States President decided a decade ago to go after a power that pissed off his father (also a president of the USA), that made him look like a complete asshole.
One that believes our votes mean less than zero while the Electoral College vote means more than, We The People, can do to change anything.
One that seriously thinks the Republicans didn’t even try to win the last presidential election. If that had tried to win it, why would they pick a Vice Presidential Candidate from a State with the lowest Electoral College vote next to that of Hawaii? Last presidential tossed to the curb.
I, after asking many in lines at grocery stores, department stores and fast food chains a few questions: Who bailed out the Airlines? Who caused you and I to fix Wallstreet and who wasted so much of our cash on the Hoover Dam? About 89% of those said: It was that goddamned nigger in the Whitehouse.
I did tell them to check their history, recent history, and if they knew who Hoover really was and his place in history. Okay, got punched a few times and so what? Those that resort to physical forms of intimidation obviously have nothing more intelligent to say. Their girlfriends did apologize, to which I asked them how often they get an upper-cut, punch to the breast and so forth. They’d look down and split.
I did laugh at the blows. Funny how that bothers more than an expression of pain. I have to truly appreciate so many aspects of my life where pain,my sheer lack of acknowledging such is concerned. Mind over matter, as in: if you don’t mind, it won’t matter. Or better: If you have a headache, just tap your foot with a hammer. You will soon forget about you headache.
I AM:
One that continues to ask a single question, seeking an answer to a continuously asked question: What makes us human?
I am one who continuously ponders questions as to what we are and why.
I am Mark William Darus, grandkid of Orlon and Jenny, son of Marion and Ted.
Like Popeye, I am what I am.
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